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Friend benefits or love?


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Hi everyone,

 

After a couple of years as single and a couple of flings I am starting to feel ready for something a little more serious. Since my previous relationship ended up in a mess after 4 years I have noticed I've become more protective, maybe too.

 

Here is the situation:

 

The girl I am wondering about has been a friend for a while. She was in fact a good friend of my ex's sister (that's how we met) and for years we would see eachother occasionaly while we were both dating other people, not very close friends. After both our relationships got messed up we hung out a lot more. She also likes going out and drinking. After a while we ended up sleeping together after one heavy night out. It was enjoyable and we spent the whole day after in bed but given the situation at the time (we were both emotional mess, also with the my ex's sister) we considered it a one off at a convenient time for both of us. We decided not to chase it anymore but a couple of months later it happened again in a similar situation.

 

Things got too bad for me at the time (about a year and a half ago) so I went abroad and only came back in october last year. I've seen her again but now she seems different towards me. She's had a couple of very short relationships she talks about with me but over the past weeks some of my friends are noticing she is increasingly interested in me (like giving me looks when she's talking to friends). She's asking me to join her running routine or to go to concerts/watch a movie. She is very impulsive and changes her mind a lot of the time about everything.

 

My feelings are not so clear. I feel like moving forward into a new relationship and the past seems to have found its place. It's her I am not so sure about. I've seen her in 'action' and there has been plenty of it the past few years (we were in college together). She is really great and I like her as a friend but she has the tendency to play games with guys and I've seen more than one go crazy over it. She knows this and she knows her tricks don't really work that well on me. She's very intelligent, beautiful, outgoing... I've always said I wouldn't be falling for it even though a lot of people notice there's something.

 

Am I being too careful here or should I give it a try? I don't love her right now but I think I would easily fall in love after spending a couple of crazy weeks with her. I think I'd prefer it to this weird, confusing friendship.

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todreaminblue

you are aware of how she is.....so you go into anything with her aware and with knowledge,some people dont even have that....i suggest you try.....its your choice ultimately, i guess it depends how strongly you end up feeling for her and also if that is enough for you to act upon it........deb

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imtooconfused

You know her tricks and for the time being you don't fall for them. This probably makes you MORE attractive to her since you are not a pushover. It could be the start of a good relationship as long as you don't tire of constantly keeping up your guard.

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