youaremysunshine Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Hey, so this i posted here on love shack a few years ago and although I thought I was over this guy he's back on my mind. here's my original post: I've had a longstanding crush on a close friend and I've heard from several mutual friends that he really likes me. Apparently he has lots of nice things to say about me and even jokingly referred to me as his future wife. Our friendship has been pretty flirtatious from the get go but over the years we have never been single at the same time. Anyway a last weekend his girlfriend of 8 months dumped him for going out with our friend who was in from out of town rather than her. He tells me she was very overbearing and that over the 8 months he never once slept alone. He seemed to like her even though she was very controlling about what he did and who he saw. He was pretty sad about the whole thing but he can be a little oversensitive. Two days ago was his birthday and my group of friends went out even though he was still really down. I had way too much to drink, he had way to much to drink and we ended up making out at the bar in front of everyone! And then we went back to my place and had sex. I had wanted him for so long! The next morning I wake up and we chat and cuddle a little bit, and it's not awkward at all. then he says he doesn't want a relationship! Ouch! I say I like him a lot and he says he likes me a lot. We have sex again and he says that it feels right and that he likes that there's no presure. We cuddle and talk till he has to go meet his mom for lunch and he says he feels really good about what happened and himself. That afternoon his fb status is that he had an amazing birthday and he feels awesome. Since then HE has sent me a number of messages asking how I am and calling me some rather silly pet names. Does he want a relationship after all? I know he is kinda a serial monogamist going from one serious girlfriend to serious girlfriend fast. I don't want anything TOO serious right away but he is really nice, fun to be around, handsome and really good in the sack. I wanna date him but I dont wanna scare him away. Update: His ex is freaking out, sending us both threatening text messages. She posted on his facebook wall that he should have gone though with it, in reference to a suicide attempt. His level of interest in me had dropped sharply. He's always sweet to me when I see him out, which is often but he NEVER messages me first. We've had a few drunken make out sessions but we haven't like hung out really. Also he took a bus trip out of town (she paid) to visit a woman he used to date. It doesn't really bother me that he's sleeping with other girls, I just would be so sad of he got exclusive with someone else when he didn't want to with me. I've also heard from mural friends/ gleaned from his facebook that he is rather depressed between the break up and severing tendons in his hand falling on glass. He can't work or drive (he LOVES driving) and drinks everyday now. I wish he would let me be there for him, I'm a compassionate person and a good listener. I'm worried about him. TWO YEARS LATER Now I have moved to the nation's largest city, only an hour from my hometown I'm in school for social work and I work in a women's shelter. Life's been pretty good. Made a lot of friends, had some pretty surreal adventures. Still single, but I'm ok with being alone and I have had a few flings. My house ends up burning down, and some of my sweet friends in my home town put on a fundraiser show for me! very cool. The fellow in question shows up (I didn't invite him) and we talk all night. Pretty cool. He says that I seem much happier and more confident (this means a lot because I have gained 40 pounds in since returning home and that is all people can seem to observe about me). He asks my phone number and I reply I don't have one! this is a lie, no idea why I said it. I mentioned I have been single since breaking up with P. just before we hooked up, he says he has also been single since his ex j. dumped him before we hooked up. I say I'm happy being single and he replies that he wakes up most days sad and alone. This is bull**** because everyone knows he sleeps around. Later in the night we talk about of small our town in and he says he can walk into the bar and have had sex with six people there, and that it makes him feel awful. I say that it's just the tension it causes and there is nothing shameful about casual sex. Later, a woman I heard he was sleeping with asks him to go home with her and he declines rather coldly. Not impressed. He claims she's just not his type (note: she's gorgeous and thin and the queen of the hipsters) we go back to our mutual best friends house and drink ourselves silly, when they go to bed he quietly sings me a gaslight anthem song, he same one he did when we hooked up. it's called blue jeans and white t shirts, it goes "I'll love you forever, if I ever love at all". We have some really intense sex and he stares into my eyes the entire time, it's almost uncomfortable. but um yeah, damn it's good. The next morning we cuddle a bit and have sex again. after he says I'm not as sweet as a seem, and I say that's just how I trap guys, that it's my game. I think he may have thought I was serious. the four of us hang out all day laughing and picking on each other and it's great. I tell him our exes, P. and J. are now dating and I'm friends with them both and he's apparently very betrayed by that. we hang a few more hours and when he leaves he facebook messages me saying sorry the way he reacted but hearing about j. brings up hurtful memories saying be friends with them if I want, but warning me she's "trouble" and p. doesn't deserve it. we havent talked since but he keeps liking my stuff on fb. I'm home for the holidays, but I didn't let him know and I saw him at his work and pretended not to see, even though he clearly saw me seeing him. WHY? what is my problem? why cant I be warmer towards him, when he's obviously down? is this some pathetic attempt to seem unavailable? I mean we sleep together! Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 I couldn't help wondering if he remembers I like my back scratched or if thats just his of his moves moaning about his loveless sexlife as a way to get me to have meaningless sex with him is a major mindfck. I refuse to buy into his pity party and give him sympathy or hold his hand. but truthfuly, I wish he wasn't manipulating me and I could open up and let myself be there for him, even as an old friend. As of yet I'm to proud to contact him Link to post Share on other sites
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