Kamila Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 Well, here's the story. I'm so confused right now, because I never thought I would be posting something like this here. I was mainly on the break-up and coping section and yeah getting over my heartbreak until I meet someone else... He's a guy from work I've meet a month ago and we work on the same project. He's 27 and I'm 30. At first he thought I was younger than him but I said I wasn't (without telling him how old I really am). I know 3 years of difference isn't much. But for you guys ? Is that a problem ? He doesn't know and he's flirting like crazy with me. What should I do ? He once texted me when I was sick and he wished me to get well soon. And when we go out with the colleagues he's like super enthusiastic around me. Today was really the icing on the cake, we went to a restaurant with the colleagues and on our way back to the office we kind of grew away from the group. We talked about what we were going to do in the weekend, about general stuff. He also slowed his pace just to talk more with me... So confused here ... I'm here with a big grin on my face I can't wash away Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 what are you confused about...? I'm 5 years older than my H. it might have mattered when i was 16 - but things even out, and frankly - there is no difference.... Why should it matter now? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 From experience, age differences mattered more to me than the guy in question. Having guys in their early 20s and even high school (oh dear) flirting with you is an 'interesting' experience. I couldn't and didn't go there, but obviously they could. I gather it's a common issue with those of us who look young for our age. I don't think this guy is bothered by age differences. My guess is that he finds you attractive and that's all that really matters to him. So unless it's really a dealbreaker for you, why not just flirt back? The big grin on your face suggests that you really really want to...otherwise, you'd be recoiling in horror. Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 Yes, the other poster is right, what's confusing you? My Granny was 13 years older to my Grandpa when she married him. And my Mom was 6 years older to my Dad when they got married. As long as you are compatible emotionally, age doesn't matter. IMO, 5 to 10 years gap is okay. But 20 and up? IDTS. You are only 3 years ahead from him, that's not a big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 I'm 5 years older than my H. Cradle robber! He won't care Kamila, it sounds like he's pretty hooked on you already. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 I've gone 18 years older, and it was easily the person I've gotten along with the best... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamila Posted April 27, 2012 Author Share Posted April 27, 2012 what are you confused about...? I'm 5 years older than my H. it might have mattered when i was 16 - but things even out, and frankly - there is no difference.... Why should it matter now? I don't want to upset him when he finds out how old I really am. Maybe it won't bother him. That I don't know. It's common to have a younger woman with an older man. But hey, we're living in modern times now. And it's like you said, things even out at a certain age. Thank god for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamila Posted April 27, 2012 Author Share Posted April 27, 2012 I am already flirting back...It's something I can't control... We'll see what the future might bring. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 My Granny was 13 years older to my Grandpa when she married him. And my Mom was 6 years older to my Dad when they got married. The only times age-gaps of this measure are an issue, is right at the beginning - your grandmother would never have even looked at your grandpa in her early 20's - and your mom, at 18, would have balked at falling in love with a 12-year-old boy.... And right at the end.... My grandfather was 11 years younger than my grandmother. My mother was 11 years younger than my father. Both my grandfather, and my mother, ended up being primary carers/nurses for their respective spouses, in advanced old age...you lose the spouse element, and you become the mainstay and central health support for them.. You do everything for them, including feeding, clothing and washing them.... And it's all a devotional gesture of love, but it can be hard work for the 'younger' spouse, who will in any case, feel the advancing of their own years.... But 3 - 5 years? honestly, is no big deal.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 It depends on the person. But 3 years isn't usually much of an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 ......ended up being primary carers/nurses for their respective spouses, in advanced old age...you lose the spouse element, and you become the mainstay and central health support for them.. You do everything for them, including feeding, clothing and washing them.... And it's all a devotional gesture of love, but it can be hard work for the 'younger' spouse, who will in any case, feel the advancing of their own years...... My mother is only 4 years younger than my father but she has become his primary carer in recent years, so this can happen whatever the age gap - it's just a matter of luck. At your age, OP, 3 years is nothing and, if he's as in to you as he seems to be, he is not going to care. Go for it! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 Yes, I agree, it 'can' happen at any age, any time. My point is, that with this age gap, it's a virtual guarantee. Should both spouses survive to their 'golden age', it's almost certain to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamila Posted April 30, 2012 Author Share Posted April 30, 2012 Thanks for the encouragements guys. I still have one full day till I'm going back to work and I'm almost exploding in my head here. I barely ate, I still have that stupid smile on my face. Someone asked me if I'm okay today. Er ... This is ridiculous ... Link to post Share on other sites
The Straightener Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Three years is nothing, now five, that's when it starts to get complicated. I think you should go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 (edited) A three-year age gap is nothing. Judging by the number of guys half my age who contact me on dating sites, they aren't too bothered by age gaps. It's pretty weird to me that a guy would even consider someone twice their age but they do. I'm sure the guy is attracted and probably wouldn't care if you were 10 years older. Quite honestly, it's best to just tell him your age - why not? There's no point starting anything with a worry about what will happen when you do. I think you'll find it doesn't matter to him; he's obviously keen. Edited April 30, 2012 by spiderowl Link to post Share on other sites
DarkPrince Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 3 year age difference is nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Micki Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 I don't think a 3 to 6 year age difference is that big of a deal, particularly once you hit your 20s. You are both in the same age group. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamila Posted May 3, 2012 Author Share Posted May 3, 2012 Yes, we're in the same age group and we click amazingly well. Maybe I was overwhelmed by this connection I have with this guy, he's maybe my soulmate ? I never experienced that before. I think we're both scared of this connection right now for as we work together and stuff. Meh. Maybe it's better to let this all go to sleep for awhile. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamila Posted May 5, 2012 Author Share Posted May 5, 2012 I'm going to rant a bit here (how to post journals ?) Last week was 'interesting'. Damn, guys are so difficult to read. I don't know what he wants from me. We talk a lot, we connect a lot, we just enjoy each other's company. But what is it ? So, I'll look for signs here. The eye-contact is harder to keep, I can't keep myself from looking down, He's laughing a lot, too much if you ask me. Friday, we stayed late at work because we had things to finish. To cut the monotony, I proposed him to go get a soda together. I caught him looking at some random videos on the net. Before I know we were watching videos for over 2 hours. We eventually went to get that soda, and talked some more. Then I told him I should go home and all, and he said the same, but that he had work to finish. He gave me kiss on the cheek and wished me good weekend. When I wanted to leave for home, he changed his mind and went away with me. We shared some awkward moments in the elevator, laughing stupidly of course. Then out of nothing he offered to ride me to my car. My car wasn't far, but he insisted. So in the car we talked about the weather and stuff. And he dropped me off to my car. Again he offered a kiss on the cheek. What is this ? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 He's taking it slowly, and hoping you'll gather he has honourable intentions, rather than being a fast buck, looking for a quick.... get-together... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamila Posted May 6, 2012 Author Share Posted May 6, 2012 It's so slow my heart's gonna explode ! And then I can't forget the look on his face when we parted. God d**** ! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Ok, well, let me think what words of advice might be appropriate here.... Oh wait - ! I know!! Il faut battre le fer quand il est chaud! why not, in that case, take some initiative? Maybe he's waiting for a more succinct and evident or obvious signal from you, huh? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 It's not a big thing unless he's got a hang up. When I started living together with my first big LTR I was 25 to her 29. I didn't give much thought after the first kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I'm going to rant a bit here (how to post journals ?) Last week was 'interesting'. Damn, guys are so difficult to read. I don't know what he wants from me. We talk a lot, we connect a lot, we just enjoy each other's company. But what is it ? So, I'll look for signs here. The eye-contact is harder to keep, I can't keep myself from looking down, He's laughing a lot, too much if you ask me. Friday, we stayed late at work because we had things to finish. To cut the monotony, I proposed him to go get a soda together. I caught him looking at some random videos on the net. Before I know we were watching videos for over 2 hours. We eventually went to get that soda, and talked some more. Then I told him I should go home and all, and he said the same, but that he had work to finish. He gave me kiss on the cheek and wished me good weekend. When I wanted to leave for home, he changed his mind and went away with me. We shared some awkward moments in the elevator, laughing stupidly of course. Then out of nothing he offered to ride me to my car. My car wasn't far, but he insisted. So in the car we talked about the weather and stuff. And he dropped me off to my car. Again he offered a kiss on the cheek. What is this ? This is hard to read? Really? The poor soul is just a bit shy. I'm sure if you'll go in for the kiss everything around you will explode. You won't meet resistance. Alternatively, bring him to this forum, so we can b*tch at him to take some initiative. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamila Posted May 6, 2012 Author Share Posted May 6, 2012 This is hard to read? Really? The poor soul is just a bit shy. I'm sure if you'll go in for the kiss everything around you will explode. You won't meet resistance. Alternatively, bring him to this forum, so we can b*tch at him to take some initiative. Thinking about it in retrospect, he really only wanted me to kiss him on the cheek. Sign of respect or something... If he really wanted to kiss me, he would just do it no ? Link to post Share on other sites
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