Hol Bol Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 I'm 18 and for the last year I've been quite comfortable telling my close friends about my sexuality, I have had strong feelings for 4 girls and so far no boys, kind of suggests I'm gay but hate to admit it as I'd like to think I was bi so it's not as finalised....but anyway, my main issue is that for the last 5 months I've become closer and closer to one of my best friends, to the point we pretend we are 'girlfriends'. At the start of it it never really bothered me, but then I developed feelings which are getting stronger still and the way she behaves with me doesn't help at all. For example this pretend girlfriend thing we have means she flirts with me over text and in person especially when she is drunk, like last night she hugged me loads and kept kissing me on my cheek, another time when she was drunk she also kissed me properly. She's very full on with me in general, like we cuddle in bed a lot and hold hands, as far as I know she is straight but she's just a very touchy feely person but it makes things so much harder for me! What makes things worse is that she has recently started going out with this boy who I never got on with in the first place but my jealousy has caused me to really dislike him and I also argued with him recently when I argued with her over something unrelated, but he got involved as he was being over protective of her, which frustrated me as he has only known her a month. He also suggested I had feelings for her and I didn't deny it or admit it, but I'm concerned he may have said this to her but she hasn't said anything to me about it. She knows I don't get on with him, so she doesn't talk to me about him, but it has got to the obsessive stage where I will stress out when she doesn't reply to me because I know she is either with him or her friends, and is hurtful seeing them together. Ive stopped contemplating the fact she may feel the same now she has a boyfriend but it doesn't stop me analyse the way she is with me and whether she might know how I feel, which if she did surely she would back off a bit? I really don't want to tell her as I know it would change our friendship, but I can't stop thinking about her and I'm running out of ideas as to what to do, help! Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 Wow, such a challenge... And at 18 no less... I'm not exactly convinced of your underlying sexual preference, and it is perfectly fine that you are experimenting in all ways during what is typically a very confusing time in life. Since I can't even figure out which way you lean, and/or whether that is 'exclusive' or not, I certainly can't come up with the 'right' answer to your puzzle here. Can't tell whether you're in high school or college, or if you'll be going to college... but from what little I feel I know from reading your post, I'm inspired to anticipate that MORE TIME is going to be most important in your fully determining your sexual preference. The world is more liberal today than ever before, and nobody need 'define' themselves clearly so early in life. However, it is probably wrong to negotiate with those who may already have done just that before you know you're 'qualified' to commit TO them. So... best I can suggest... is that you just have fun, socially, and in time you will be most drawn to the most suitable individuals for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Melbufama Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 Wow, such a challenge... And at 18 no less... I'm not exactly convinced of your underlying sexual preference, and it is perfectly fine that you are experimenting in all ways during what is typically a very confusing time in life. Since I can't even figure out which way you lean, and/or whether that is 'exclusive' or not, I certainly can't come up with the 'right' answer to your puzzle here. Can't tell whether you're in high school or college, or if you'll be going to college... but from what little I feel I know from reading your post, I'm inspired to anticipate that MORE TIME is going to be most important in your fully determining your sexual preference. The world is more liberal today than ever before, and nobody need 'define' themselves clearly so early in life. However, it is probably wrong to negotiate with those who may already have done just that before you know you're 'qualified' to commit TO them. So... best I can suggest... is that you just have fun, socially, and in time you will be most drawn to the most suitable individuals for you. That's what happens when the majority of your friends are women as a male. Drama happens, hang with your guy friends for the time being, and lay off of her to cool down. Link to post Share on other sites
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