Excuses..Excuses?

[Love_sohard]

I have been with my boyfriend now for two months and we have had a wonderful relationship during this time. He has been loving sweet and kind with no problems. He also has a 3 year old son who I have not yet met and him and his ex share custody of him.

 

About a month ago he got very distant for a couple of days and when I asked him about it he said that he "was going through a lot of stress" but, then he wouldn't elaborate at all about what it was. I assumed it was drama with his ex and his son and tried to be as supportive as I could be.

 

He also brought up many times how he was scared that I was going to leave him and move to another state (I have a job that keeps me moving every couple of years) but, I assured him that I wanted love and if I met the right person I would change my plans or line of work. I have done nothing but assure him of my love over and over again and that I really want to be with him.

 

When he would come over and I would try to talk about things that actually mattered --he would always change the subject..

he never wanted to really let me in or let his walls down about what he was feeling or thinking and it started to concern me.

 

Two days ago he became distant again, he said he was "tired" and didnt' want to come over. He said he was feeling "depressed" and like "his life was not going the way he wanted it to go". I told him he could "talk to me anytime".

 

Then he said again that he is afraid I am just going to leave him and started asking me questions like "do you see the love you have for me lasting for a long time

 

It's like he wants a 100% guarantee from me which is impossible to give in any relationship or situation.

 

I keep assuring him over and over again but I am starting to feel like maybe he is just looking for an excuse to break up with me. I told him "I Love you but I am not going to convince you to be with me" Obviously that is his choice.

 

It's just very hard because I love him so very much...but I don't want this drama of him constantly unsure about me and us. Plus if he says he loves me how is he so quick to want to break this off? Last night the final message from him was "could you see us getting married"

 

I said "well obviously I am not looking for a fling and I Love you and the whole point of dating is to see if it leads to marriage"

 

His response

maybe I don't deserve a good woman like you. Right now I just don't know what to do with my life"

 

It is so so so hard. I have spent the whole day just feeling empty inside. Is he making an excuse to just end things or maybe he is just really confused about his life in general. Regardless my heart cannot take much more..any advice would be greatly appreciated

[prack]

a flabbergasting goose gone bonkers badly building bricks bonkers-like

An 'Excuse Me' is a dance in which partners are exchanged.

 

an excuse or justification is a defense to criminal charges that is distinct from an exculpation. In this context, "to excuse" means to grant or obtain an exemption for a group of persons sharing a common characteristic from a potential liability. "To justify" as in justifiable homicide means to "vindicate" or show the justice in the particular conduct. Thus, society approves of the purpose or motives underpinning some actions or the consequences flowing from them (see Robinson), and distinguishes those where the behavior cannot be approved but some excuse may be found in the characteristics of the defendant, e.g. that the accused was a serving police officer or suffering from a mental illness.