Nubian Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 (edited) Hello everyone, This is my first time on this site and im really glad that i came upon it, After reading some of the other blogs i figure i could come here amongst other adults like myself and say whats on my mind anyway..... Obviously looking at the title anyone reading this pretty much can tell where im going with it. Im a 26 year old single attractive young women, no children,i have been single and abstient for a while now where i live its been really hard trying to meet a man who is on the same level as me mentally, emotionally, and most importantly spritually..It just seems to me most of the men i find myself really ,really attracted to are attacthed already and any other women whos been through that knows its very frustrating. At the church that i attend there is a man by the name of Dontrell Hes 35 very humble, god fearing, and smart and when i say hes gorgeous ladies im mean he is soo hot he gives me goosebumps..Hes very active in the church hes one of those men that eventhough he is extremely good looking he is very humble and humility is very sexy in a man...... Um now to the ever so significant part he is married. The only times that i do see dontrell is at church We have never had any contact anywhere else we havent really held to much of a conversation under the circumstances but anyone who is aware of body language you can always tell when the feelings of attraction is mutual. There is allways i mean allways serious longing eye-contact and i usually NEVER initiate it, and sometimes the eyes can relay a message of how you feel with not even speaking its like a serious "Energy" i feel when our eyes meet and then there is the smile and he allways fiddles and plays with his wedding band when he look at me,he mirrors my body language and the couple times that we hugged he allways seems to sneak a little cheek kiss in. Again, before anyone may jump down my throat about him being a married man and i need to leave him alone I mind you i have never initiated anything. Even with the eye contact its just i feel that we as human CANT control who we are drawn and attracted to...I wish i could turn my feelings off like a faucet and stop thinking about him constantly but i cant...If anyone wants to comment or has any advice please feel free Thank you. Sincerly yours, Nubian Edited December 21, 2009 by Nubian Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 But according to this post, you would have no interest in a married man ever so what kind of advice are you after? I really pity a women who settles for crumbs when she can have the steak, lobster, salad, and baked potato to....Im a happily single Diva and i've had married men approach me before but ill never go for it... My definition of a mistress is a woman who should STAY a mystery no one should know you, care to know you, or want to know you ,stay in your place which is to get lied to, allways get leftovers, have worthless unmeaningful sex, and spend your holidays alone, and dont ask him questions only his wife has the right to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Where's his W when you are making goo-goo eyes at each other? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 (edited) I thought church was a place to worship and have develop a spiritual relationship with god, not flirt and think about sex with married men. Nubian, you should feel ashamed. And what about what you said in this post about married men???? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2551850&postcount=43 Edited December 21, 2009 by CarrieT Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 You are clearly lusting for him.. so very innappropriate. This is why I never go to church and don't trust church-going people very much. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 I'd suggest you spend a long, long time reading through the threads in the Infidelity forum. And then spend even longer reading through the threads in the OW/OM forum (Other Woman/Other Man). That's the forum for you. Don't be surprised at how full of heartache it is...people like you getting involved with married persons and only making themselves miserable, for years, in an affair. Because they don't leave their spouses! Not that we know this man you are staring at is at all interested in embarking on an affair. But we do know that you are starting down that road, so you might as well read in the OW forum where you will end up if you keep going there. Better to read about all the unhappy OW than to become one. You will not find what you are looking for with this guy. You would do better to stop staring at him and open your eyes and heart to the single men in your church. Link to post Share on other sites
Love2love7 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 You don't have to find another church to go to. The same thing might happen at another church. You have to change within. Ask God to help you get over those feelings you're starting to have for this married man. God does not like people who come between what he puts together(marriage). You can still be respectful towards this man but know your boundaries. If he pursues anything let him know that you don't mess around with married him and reming him that he's married! Put him in place. Don't give in to temptation! be strong! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nubian Posted December 21, 2009 Author Share Posted December 21, 2009 (edited) Ooow Thank you guys so much especially Norajane and BB07.. You guys definately were being honest thats what i came to THIS forum for i didnt go to the others because i wanted to get a different perspective rather than the normal..Im the type of woman who CAN handle the truth even if it does sting a little bit. My point is being attracted to this man i know is not a good thing for me. It has gotten to the point where i did ponder either taking a break from this church or go to another one all together just to reflect on myself...Because ive have been through alot of ****ty relationships and i would never ever want to be responsible for wrecking another woman home. I know better than that..Ill just keep praying more than likely i m going to take a break from going to this church for a while to get myself together...Thanks Guys Sincerly Yours, Nubian PS: I already know how unhappy and miserable the "Other woman" is and i would never want to be her. PSS: And for the ladies who posted that other comment i wrote obviously you have NEVER had feelings for someone Attraction is very natural no matter who it is for The difference is whether or not you act upon it.Annie 1707 and CarrieT. Edited December 21, 2009 by Nubian Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Of course you can control who you are attracted to. By your own admission you have not previously found a "...man who is on the same level as me mentally, emotionally, and most importantly spritually.." So, you have requirements, standards, qualities you prefer...call them whatever you want. But for you to be attracted and interested you at some point came to the conscious decision that those qualities must be present. And thats a good thing for a mature thinking person to do when they are looking for a partner or even a date. Have some specifics in mind, and unless those are met..you just dont even think about it. For example one might be Must belong to a church, or Must have graduated college, or even Must have a job. Certainly if you were to meet a man who did not believe in god, or quit high school and was always unemployed...the chemistry just wouldnt really be there regardless of how "hot" he was. So, no frustration there..you just acknowledge he is good looking but not for you. Why not simply make another one of your standards single and available. Seems like that should be, at least to you, just as important as going to church. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Hum...you said you hugged... and he stole a little peck on the cheek.. in what circumstance do you hug in church???? Link to post Share on other sites
Love2love7 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Hum...you said you hugged... and he stole a little peck on the cheek.. in what circumstance do you hug in church???? I go to a baptist church and we hug also. It's just a sign of love for the brothers and sisters. But not that kind of love Nubian wants lol Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 PSS: And for the ladies who posted that other comment i wrote obviously you have NEVER had feelings for someone Attraction is very natural no matter who it is for The difference is whether or not you act upon it.Annie 1707 and CarrieT. Yes sure you have Carrie and I completely sussed. We are cold heartless b****** and have no concept of love, attraction, etc Or maybe we just pointed out your hypocrisy/game playing Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nubian Posted December 21, 2009 Author Share Posted December 21, 2009 (edited) LOL!!! Im so glad i have thick skin... I absolutley love opinionated women. Edited December 21, 2009 by Nubian Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Yes sure you have Carrie and I completely sussed. We are cold heartless b****** and have no concept of love, attraction, etc Or maybe we just pointed out your hypocrisy/game playing High-five, Anne! Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Well, other than what everyone else has said here, the fact the he's the one that initiates the eye contact and all that is nothing new under the sun with how affairs start. Most wives like to think that the OW chases the MM but it's more often the other way around. And the OW finds herself blindsided by the whirlwind of attention and seduction. I'm actually surprised that you would entertain thoughts of this man in any way since you're obviously a believer in the bible. I thought that the bible said something about how a person can commit adultery in their heart. I don't think you should lose your support system at your church but I do think you need to screw your head on straighter and stop encouraging this guy, and stop thinking about him. He's married. He's unavailable. There is no happy ending here. Link to post Share on other sites
Robin2000 Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Methodists here. for what it's worth we are a hugging bunch of people lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nubian Posted December 22, 2009 Author Share Posted December 22, 2009 Keep it coming ladies I LOVE IT:D:D Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Don't feed the trolls people... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Agree D-Lish.. this looks like Emma.. Link to post Share on other sites
bittersweet memories Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Keep it coming ladies I LOVE IT:D:D Sure you do...I can see right through you. Link to post Share on other sites
wheream_i Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Hello everyone, This is my first time on this site and im really glad that i came upon it, After reading some of the other blogs i figure i could come here amongst other adults like myself and say whats on my mind anyway..... Obviously looking at the title anyone reading this pretty much can tell where im going with it. Im a 26 year old single attractive young women, no children,i have been single and abstient for a while now where i live its been really hard trying to meet a man who is on the same level as me mentally, emotionally, and most importantly spritually..It just seems to me most of the men i find myself really ,really attracted to are attacthed already and any other women whos been through that knows its very frustrating. At the church that i attend there is a man by the name of Dontrell Hes 35 very humble, god fearing, and smart and when i say hes gorgeous ladies im mean he is soo hot he gives me goosebumps..Hes very active in the church hes one of those men that eventhough he is extremely good looking he is very humble and humility is very sexy in a man...... Um now to the ever so significant part he is married. The only times that i do see dontrell is at church We have never had any contact anywhere else we havent really held to much of a conversation under the circumstances but anyone who is aware of body language you can always tell when the feelings of attraction is mutual. There is allways i mean allways serious longing eye-contact and i usually NEVER initiate it, and sometimes the eyes can relay a message of how you feel with not even speaking its like a serious "Energy" i feel when our eyes meet and then there is the smile and he allways fiddles and plays with his wedding band when he look at me,he mirrors my body language and the couple times that we hugged he allways seems to sneak a little cheek kiss in. Again, before anyone may jump down my throat about him being a married man and i need to leave him alone I mind you i have never initiated anything. Even with the eye contact its just i feel that we as human CANT control who we are drawn and attracted to...I wish i could turn my feelings off like a faucet and stop thinking about him constantly but i cant...If anyone wants to comment or has any advice please feel free Thank you. Sincerly yours, Nubian Any chance you can use periods in your paragraphs? KThanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nubian Posted December 24, 2009 Author Share Posted December 24, 2009 @ Dlish Keep Tanning Honey Looks Great!! Try a little more sun screen LOL!! Im beautiful sexy....I have melenin in my skin...and your boyfriend would definatly like me. Very Intelligent need i say more?????:rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
Wei Wei Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Hello everyone, This is my first time on this site and im really glad that i came upon it, After reading some of the other blogs i figure i could come here amongst other adults like myself and say whats on my mind anyway..... Obviously looking at the title anyone reading this pretty much can tell where im going with it. Im a 26 year old single attractive young women, no children,i have been single and abstient for a while now where i live its been really hard trying to meet a man who is on the same level as me mentally, emotionally, and most importantly spritually..It just seems to me most of the men i find myself really ,really attracted to are attacthed already and any other women whos been through that knows its very frustrating. At the church that i attend there is a man by the name of Dontrell Hes 35 very humble, god fearing, and smart and when i say hes gorgeous ladies im mean he is soo hot he gives me goosebumps..Hes very active in the church hes one of those men that eventhough he is extremely good looking he is very humble and humility is very sexy in a man...... Um now to the ever so significant part he is married. The only times that i do see dontrell is at church We have never had any contact anywhere else we havent really held to much of a conversation under the circumstances but anyone who is aware of body language you can always tell when the feelings of attraction is mutual. There is allways i mean allways serious longing eye-contact and i usually NEVER initiate it, and sometimes the eyes can relay a message of how you feel with not even speaking its like a serious "Energy" i feel when our eyes meet and then there is the smile and he allways fiddles and plays with his wedding band when he look at me,he mirrors my body language and the couple times that we hugged he allways seems to sneak a little cheek kiss in. Again, before anyone may jump down my throat about him being a married man and i need to leave him alone I mind you i have never initiated anything. Even with the eye contact its just i feel that we as human CANT control who we are drawn and attracted to...I wish i could turn my feelings off like a faucet and stop thinking about him constantly but i cant...If anyone wants to comment or has any advice please feel free Thank you. Sincerly yours, Nubian Hello, nice to meet u here, i know got one dating website is 100% free, welcome u join http://ipoh.blogdns.com/dating , thanks ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
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