Judge Posted February 17, 2003 Share Posted February 17, 2003 Ok here goes. I need some help I have fallen for a friend. I've known her for about 5 years and over the past year we have gradually grown closer. We were having a drink one night when another friend suggested I liked her and I couldn't answer and thought about it. Over the past year I have been in total denial and blocked/hidden out my feelings (which I'm pretty good at) and only my best freind and his girlfriend have picked up on it. She is the sweetest, kindest person I've ever known and I think we'd be great together, the thing is I'm scared of losing her as a friend and having to go through the whole awkward thing of I'm the one who got rejected now can't see her ever again thing. Another problem is I'm getting quite protective of her which is getting more noticable as time goes on. Help Me What Do I Do?? I have three days to make my decision the my best friend's girlfriend is going to interviene. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 17, 2003 Share Posted February 17, 2003 I don't understand this three day deadline thing. You ought not let other people involve themselves in your personal business. Anyway, you have no choice but to let your feelings known to your friend. As long as she's not seeing anybody now, if she doesn't have the same feelings making such a disclosure shouldn't affect your friendship if she's truly a friend. Considering this apparent deadline you have, you must talk to her yourself and do it ASAP. Just let her know you have developed strong feelings for her. Let her know that if she may at sometime decide she would like to upgrade the friendship, you would be open for it. Ultimately, any friendship with her will end anyway if she isn't with you and finds another love interest. Once a woman gets married and has a family, she usually is forced to abandon male friendships in all but minor ways because of the rigors and demands of married life. So if you want her in your life in a significant way for a long period, just hope she wants to explore a greater relationship. If she doesn't and doesn't want to remain friends either, you've just sped up a process that would take place anyway. And there's no way you want to remain friends with someone you have strong feelings for. Why should you want to stand by when she starts dating other people and telling you all about it. That's just plain nuts and being cruel to yourself. Talk to her as soon as possible and don't be a wimp about this sort of thing. Be ready to accept the consequences, whatever they may be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Judge Posted February 18, 2003 Author Share Posted February 18, 2003 Thanks, thats pretty much what everyone has told me to do, I've got nothing to lose. The 3 day deadline was not my idea but if she didn't interviene in the first place I would have done nothing to start with and would have kept my feelings bottled up anyway. I can't not do anything because I've done it before and don't want that to happen again. Once again thanks, the wheels are now in motion. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamsicle993 Posted February 24, 2003 Share Posted February 24, 2003 I'd just like to wish you luck. Tell your friend how you feel. Who knows maybe she feels the same way too. I'm in the same position you're in now and you could say 'the wheel are in motion' for me too. Let's see where are luck takes us eh? Link to post Share on other sites
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