Don't know what to do

[Maria]

I met a man in the internet. He told me he is looking for a serious relationship, wants to have a family and children. He said he liked me and was exited about getting to know me. A few days later he said he is dating other women because he wants to be free until he made a decision about being in a serious relationship with somebody. Only then he would become monogamous.

He has a webcamera and lots of female friends on the internet that he is chatting with every day for a long time. When he talks to me it's always some jokes, nothing else, nothing personal. And when he is talking to me a lot of times he's talking to other women at the same time. I don't understand how can somebody be joking all the time, what's the purpose of it. I know we didn't meet yet, but with this attitude right now I don't even feel he is interested in me as a possible romantic partner. He did or said nothing that would even distantly look like he is seriously interested. Yes, he said he wants to come and visit me, but doesn't know when.

If he is so indifferent now, would personal meeting change a lot? He is not interested in me as a person. He hardly asked me a couple questions during this whole time. All that matters is that I appreciate his sense of humour. And I surely understand a person must be able to choose, but it just seems to me he is not trying to choose anybody, he's having fun with a lot of women, which he refers to as "friends" - "I'm talking to a friend", I went to a movie with a friend" etc.

He never offered to talk on the phone saying that chatting saves money.

However every two days he appears on line and wants to chat.

So, am I wasting my time with him or can something come out of it? Should I stop it now or am I overreacting? Is there anything I don't understand or am doing wrong?

[Ed]

I don't think you can put a whole lot of stock in this one.

 

In my opinion, the internet is as good a place as any for single people to find other single people, but that's about as far as it goes. Rarely will anything more come from a meeting like this unless the two singles get to spend ample time with each other in person.

 

If you want to be friends with this person, keep chatting with him online. No harm done.

 

If you are interested in more than an internet friendship and he doesn't try to arrange a face to face meeting, then just stop chatting with him and start looking for some other single guys that will show a REAL interest in getting to know you in person.

[Tony T]

You're wasting your time with this dude. You also make a very big mistake of thinking anybody could want a serious relationship with somebody they haven't ever met.

 

This cyber stuff is very entertaining and there are some really nice people to meet on the Internet. But where romance is concerned, given the fact that he doesn't even chat with you one on one...you are just another one of his cyberladies...and given the fact he won't call you on the phone...my guess is HE is probably a SHE. Considering the chat is always humorous, I'd say SHE is probably about 14 years old.

 

Don't count on pictures either. People can and do send pictures of other people.

 

Stop this nonsense and call some of your friends and ask them to introduce you to some nice guys. If you intent on using the Internet to find dates, take Ed's advice above. If they won't soon call you on the phone or meet you in person, write them off.

 

Life is way way too short.

[clia]

Hmmm...let's see...

 

You said:

 

"He is not interested in me as a person."

 

"He hardly asked me a couple questions during this whole time."

 

"All that matters is that I appreciate his sense of humour."

 

"It just seems to me he is not trying to choose anybody,..."

 

"He never offered to talk on the phone saying that chatting saves money."

 

"However every two days he appears on line and wants to chat."

 

What exactly do you like about this guy? His sense of humor? There are loads of funny people out there. He's nuthin' special.

 

All I'm seeing here are red flags!

 

If he wanted to get to know you, he'd call and not quibble over a few bucks for a long distance phone call.

 

He's playing.

 

Don't encourage it anymore. Don't let him come visit you.

 

Just cut it off. You'll be much better off.

[MercyRose]

I don't like him.

 

If I were in your shoes I would stop talking to him completely.

[velvet]

Ditch him, her, whoever. Thats bull shi_. Nothing wrong with meeting people on the net. But you should be able to talk on the phone. Who ever this person is, is just having fun. Turn your feelings off.