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Is he flirting?


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I'm a 22-year-old female and I have a (male) friend who's 43. We've been friends almost a year now. Lately, I've been feeling like he's flirting with me (nothing sexual). He always seems to notice what I'm wearing and has complimented me a couple of times (especially when I wear a certain outfit). He's always teasing me (in a good way) and is very concerned about my well-being. Lately, I've also been running into him a lot in unexpected places.

I have a couple other male friends with that wide an age gap between us, but they treat me like a daughter (and I think of them like a father). Things are different with him, though. It's not that I think there's a future for us...I know there isn't. I guess I'm just wondering if I'm reading him right.

 

Thanks, in advance, for your help.

 

Amethyst

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If you know there's no future with him, then what's the big deal?

 

He could be flirting, probably is. A man his age can very easily be attracted to and fall for a lady your age. It happens every day. There are a lot of women who marry men 20, even 30 years their senior. It's not a great idea in some cases but it works out well in others. Really depends on the two people.

 

I wouldn't think anymore about this. It's a mute point if you're not interested. But if he is flirting and he has a tongue, one day he will either ask you out on a date "date" or express some feelings for you.

 

At that time you will have to make a decision as to whether you want to go there. If you have that opportunity and you think a relationship with him would be fulfilling and make you happy, there wouldn't be any problem exploring it. If you would feel odd or uncomfortable, you can very kindly and discretely let him down by telling him your highest and best wishes are to preserve the wonderful friendship the two of you have.

 

You can't lose and you are in total control here...except, of course, if he never asks you out and one day you develop special feelings for him and desire him in a romantic way. It will then be up to you to make the necessary moves.

 

Just don't be so concerned about the age difference in any case. The only real downside for you is that when he is 100, you will be 79 and chances are good he would dump you for a 40 year old chick...but that's a chance you'd have to take...if the issue comes up.

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He's probably flirting, but whats the big deal...this is just your stereotypical deal where a guy is always thinking about...one thing. BUT...that doesnt mean that if it doesnt go beyond flirting, that you two cant have a nice friendship.

 

Paulie

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Yes, I think you are reading him right. He apparently likes the way you look and possibly other things about you.

 

Under other circumstances, he would probably ask you for a date. I suspect the combination of the age difference between you and his general intuition tell him not to.

 

Enjoy the compliments and attention. If you don't want to encourage any further advances from him, just remain friendly and gracious. It sounds like you are both getting a kick out of it.

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When I was very young, I had a small crush on one of my fathers friends. I would flirt with him. So of course the man sensed that about me and would lightly flirt back. I would love to get the attention from him. I knew of course that nothing would become of it. I see him now and again at barb-e-ques or gatherings. For the many many years Ive known him we always kissed on the lips when we say hello. Im not sure if he was just being sweet over the years becasuse I was so young and had such a crush on him that he wanted to be sweet.

 

One night New Years 01 I decided to join my father and his wife to go to a New Years party and my fathers friend was there. We had walked outside and were talking. Of course my crush for him was long gone. This dude grabbed me and just tounge kissed me. He's married! Well I just said thanks but your married and Im in love, so later dude! Ive known this man for almost twenty years. Hes a good man hes got three kids and his wife is one of my closest friends. He hooks me up with plane tickets all the time. I dont take the incident seriously to give him a hard time or anything. Hes a fine looking man, but I felt blown away that almost twenty years of him being a part of the family he came on to me.

 

Not only him. Theres another man that my father has known for more than twenty years. Hes never made the moves on me, but I always get those vibes from him that he wants me one way or another. Hes asked me out to watch a movie with him a couple times. I wouldnt mind a movie with him, If I didnt sense that he was looking at me differently than just his friends daughter who feels is a daughter of his own. But thats not how it felt. I have managed to straighten these two men out. Its just the fact that I had crushes on them as a little girl, after moving away and growing I came back years later having not seen them it changed things a little. I suppose they felt now that I was of age it would be okay.

 

I look at them as father figures now. These men have been in my life so long theres no way I can look at them as anything elese other than apart of the family.

 

Just what ever you do, dont give this person the idea that you could even be the slightest bit interested. Thats all there is to it.

If he trys anything just tell him straight up that there will not be anything of that nature going on between you.

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