Justin Posted January 2, 2002 Share Posted January 2, 2002 I am crazy in love with this girl who i have been good friends with for 2 years. Her boyfriend recently broke up with her a couple months ago - thats when she told me that she had feelings for me. Since then she has had 3 one night stands with other guys, while continuing to become closer to me. She has also told me that she is scared of getting into another relationship because of what happened with her last one (they had been going out 2 and a half years). The breakup hit her really hard, so I have been giving her alot of space and taking things really slowly. These past couple of weeks we have been talking alot about our feelings. I told her that I loved her and she said that she cares about me alot too and that she thinks it could be great with me, finally agreeing that we should start dating (taking things slow), instead of just going out as friends. The most we have done is hold hands. Now I am wondering, how bold should I be with this girl (we are 18 btw). We talked for hours and shes still really scared of a relationship, and how she has really appreciated how patient I have been with her... Since now we are actually going to be going out, does that mean its OK for me to go ahead and be bolder? or would that be a mistake and should I just let HER make the first move? (which I don't think would happen because she expects the guy to). I don't want to ruin what we have, I really care about her. But I also don't want to be just holding hands when we could be doing more... Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Lilly Posted January 2, 2002 Share Posted January 2, 2002 If you don't want to screw up your friendship of 2 years then stay away from ANYTHING romantic with her right now. The girl is on the rebound, big time. She's not thinking too clearly right now, nor are you. You're crazy in love and probably thought all your Christmas' came at once when she said she had feelings for you... which she said JUST after her guy broke up with her. Think about it... do you really think she's over her ex, honestly? Or have those feelings for him been transferred to you (which is what rebound is about). You said the breakup hit her really hard... she's hurting right now, and will be for awhile yet till she emotionally processes her last relationship. When someone's been knocked around like she has by a break up it takes lots and lots of alone time to work through it. She knows she's not ready, otherwise she wouldn't be saying she's scared of getting into another relationship... she's telling you she's not ready! Listen to her!. This is classic rebound stuff, do yourself (and her) a favour and read up about it before you decide to make any other move... type 'rebound relationships' in any search engine and see what it comes up with, here's one to get you started: http://rebound-relationships.com/unhealthy.html. If you really don't want to ruin your friendship then please just forget the dating stuff for now, it will end in tears and pain all round. Could be way wrong, but like I said it's classic rebound stuff... rarely works out in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts