Lol ok I had a first

[Sony12]

Was talking to a lady twenty years older than me over Facebook dating app over the course of the day. We talked on the phone earlier in the day but had never met yet.

At 10:00 at night I got another call from her and she asked me if I wanted to come over. Since calling someone up that you haven't met yet that late and asking them to come over is really strange I asked her if she was wanting to have sex with me tonight. She said no I don't do that.

I told her that most of the time when women call me up this late asking me to come over that is what they want. 

She tried to turn it around on me and say I think that's what you want. 

At that point I ended the call and promptly unmatched each other.

I get that a lady isn't wanting sex every time she invites a guy over but it's really odd that she would ask me to come over that late if that isn't what she was looking for. Especially a guy she hadn't met as of yet.

And who knows she very possibly was looking for sex but just didn't want to admit it but I don't want to take time getting ready that late at night only for it to be an innocent high how are you face to face meeting. 

Anyways that was something new for me to be called up that late by a lady I hadn't met yet asking me to come over.

I'm sure it wasn't a situation where it would have turned into an unsafe situation for me or else she would have said yes I do want to have sex.

 

 

 

[ShyViolet]

I think that is what she wanted, but then she backtracked based on your response because she could tell you weren't into it and thought it was strange.

[Sony12]

Probably so. I've gone over to women's places before without meeting them properly in person beforehand so it's not that that I'm not comfortable with. In those situations we would plan it a day or two in advance so you would have time to get ready and that's fine.

If I am going to be making out of the blue 10 o'clock at night house calls though to women I have yet to meet I need to start charging for my time. Because that is essentially what that would be is a gigolo situation. 

 

[Els]

8 hours ago, ShyViolet said:

I think that is what she wanted, but then she backtracked based on your response because she could tell you weren't into it and thought it was strange.

Yeah, this. I'm all for discussing expectations in advance, but even I think it's a bit jarring to respond to an invitation with "are we going to have sex?"... She probably did think she would want it, but now she doesn't. 

[Sony12]

3 hours ago, Els said:

Yeah, this. I'm all for discussing expectations in advance, but even I think it's a bit jarring to respond to an invitation with "are we going to have sex?"... She probably did think she would want it, but now she doesn't. 

I get it but at the same time it would take time to get ready for an invitation like this. These women asking these men as young as their own children over to their place before even meeting them would want them to show up looking as attractive as they can. I for instance would want to shower and shave and in many instances get a haircut. Get a nice shirt and jeans pairing ready and underwear that was fresh out of the washer and dryer. And in most cases make sure my pubes were properly trimmed.

Sure I probably could have said we can do next weekend instead of tonight and if I have another woman I have never met yet calling me up that late at night asking me to come over to her place that is probably what I will do. This was a new experience for me regarding a situation like that though. I have been called up in the evening by women who I have already met two or three times asking me to come over to their place right away and in those situations they have usually already seen you naked so all that preparation isn't as necessary in that situation. But have never had an out of the blue invitation like that from a woman I had yet to meet before.

Edited 22 hours ago by Sony12

[Alvi]

Ok, what would you reaction be if she said: "Yeah, I am looking for sex. Come and sex me up."
 Why not let her down gently if you are not interested instead of calling her out on this one? You put her in a rough spot and she backtracked.  I mean, she was bold and daring and maybe drunk or on drugs when she asked you to come to her place.

I can't tell you how many times random guys on the net asked me to come to their apartments, houses, hotel rooms or send them my pictures at night time. I simply blocked all of them and that was it.  

18 hours ago, Sony12 said:

I get that a lady isn't wanting sex every time she invites a guy over but it's really odd that she would ask me to come over that late if that isn't what she was looking for. Especially a guy she hadn't met as of yet.

Maybe she needed a chess partner or wanted to discuss a poetry with someone. OK, get real. She meant sex. She practically threw herself at you. I suppose, you would not question her intentions or calling her out on inviting you in if you have found her to be physically  attractive. All you are saying is that she is old enough to be your mother, lol.

Just say "NO" if you feel in any way shape or form uncomfortable, which you did. 

Why are you bothered by this and/or give it a second thought?

Edited 17 hours ago by Alvi

[Sony12]

@Alviwhat I am saying is that if sex was infact what she was looking for it takes time to get yourself ready. These women want the guys to look as similar to their pics as possible and you aren't always going to be fixed up like that and prepared to have your clothes taken off.

In situations where they want a guy to meet them at a moments notice they should be calling escort services. Not guys from dating apps who will be doing it for free.

If she would have said yes I do want sex I would have needed to shower, shave, trim pubes....etc....etc.... 

Edited 16 hours ago by Sony12

[Alpacalia]

What you experienced is actually pretty common in online dating: mismatched expectations and unclear communication. Some people test boundaries, some avoid being direct, and others genuinely don’t see late-night invitations as unusual.

If you’re looking to avoid this kind of confusion in the future, one strategy is to set clear meeting standards early on — like suggesting coffee, lunch, or an afternoon meetup for a first encounter. That way, you filter out people who aren’t aligned with your comfort zone.

But, and this isn't a judgment, you seem to get off on older women being into you for purely sexual reasons. So, what does it matter.

[ExpatInItaly]

4 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

But, and this isn't a judgment, you seem to get off on older women being into you for purely sexual reasons. So, what does it matter.

I wonder that too. My guess is our OP's ego is a bit bruised that she changed her mind.