Do I not do a good enough job of showing I am interested?

[Cantholdm3e]

A few years ago I briefly dated this guy I met online. I could tell he was a catch, but basically I was emotionally unavailable bc still hung up on my toxic long term on/again off again thing w married man. I kinda just stopped responding. We never had sex. Well we finally reconnected & went on a date again. I liked him / felt I could attach to him way more than I remembered in the past. We met up somewhere that’s a fun little day trip spot & he got a hotel there, no convo about me staying w him was had / I didn’t give that impression. He wanted to split the bill for dinner which I remember about him. He hugged me good night when I was getting in my car, I lingered & then he went in for a kiss. It quickly escalated, to him grabbing my a** and fondling me, which was fine. Eventually he did invite me to stay w him saying we’d “have fun.” I reluctantly declined, saying I’m just a bit slower/more conservative w those things, and he said he remembered that about me. Well I haven’t heard from him today and we’d really seemed to vibe so WTH? I just worry about men thinking I’m just a good-time girl, so I didn’t want to give the impression I’d jump into bed w him the first time interacting w him in years.

[basil67]

First of all, it's only one day later so give it a few days.   That said, he may have just wanted some ass, and when you declined he realised that you're not wanting the same thing.

[ExpatInItaly]

6 hours ago, Cantholdm3e said:

I just worry about men thinking I’m just a good-time girl, so I didn’t want to give the impression I’d jump into bed w him the first time interacting w him in years

Good for you and totally umderstandable, so why doubt yourself if you manage to filter out a guy who just wants to get laid? 

You stood your ground and that was smart. He may still follow up with you, but I don't quite get why you are worried about not showing enough interest if the man in question isn't showing interest either (beyond sex) 

 

Edited December 1 by ExpatInItaly

[Cantholdm3e]

You guys were right as usual. He did come around, but then yesterday asked what I was doing that night & I said dinner plans with a friend (or another date haha didn’t add that)… I didn’t like that he asked if I was free after dinner, because that was same-day and didn’t show planning and maybe sort of reads as looking to hook up. But I also assume the worst about men generally  

[smackie9]

His intentions were pretty clear, he just wanted to hook up. been there done that. 

[FredEire]

He wanted to hook up, which is fine, you wanted a bit more romance than that, which is also fine.

You just didn't want the same thing, theres no amount of "showing" or "convincing" him or anything that will change that.

The best way to find out if you're on the same page is to talk about it. If you are, then great. You then see if his actions line up with his statements. If not, you can just leave it there.