Jump to content

Dating at Work Disaster


zetamega

Recommended Posts

3 hours ago, zetamega said:

Odds are yes here in the West. In other countries, I know that’s not to be true.

Just being nosy but whereabouts do you live?  😎

Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, zetamega said:

Other day one of my coworkers said to me he ran into her and two other coworkers at a take out place. He says to me, “I think so and so is going to make a move on her. To let you know.”

Eh, while it wasn't necessary to tell you, I don't think it's as malicious as you're interpreting it, either. It sounds llike he simpy knew you have the hots for her and wanted to give you the heads-up. In the future, just say you're not interested in knowing these details. I don't think anyone is that invested in trying to screw with you. 

4 hours ago, zetamega said:

Odds are yes here in the West. In other countries, I know that’s not to be true.

Are you in those other countries? If not, I don't see how that is relevant to your situation. 

2 hours ago, zetamega said:

If it happens though in front of my face then it will be a problem.

If what happens in front of your face, exactly? I don't get what you think you would be front-row witness to, nor what you think you would do abou tit. She is allowed to date someone els, but it's unlikely they'd be all over each other right there for all their coworkers to see. 

I still think you are in your own head way too much and somehow think everyone else's behaviour is directed at you. That's a rather self-centred perspective. I doubt they care as much about you and messing with you or playing with you as you seem to be convinced. I am sure they all have more interesting things to do. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
13 hours ago, SurfCity said:

What exactly do you think is going to happen in your face? The MOST you will see is them walking in the parking lot holding hands on their way to the car at the end of the workday. And you'd have to be looking pretty hard to see that. They're not going to be kissing in the office or calling each other "baby" in the office; so even if she does date someone else who works there, it wouldn't be in your face. 

You never know with people. They're people who like to get under your skin. 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
11 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Eh, while it wasn't necessary to tell you, I don't think it's as malicious as you're interpreting it, either. It sounds llike he simpy knew you have the hots for her and wanted to give you the heads-up. In the future, just say you're not interested in knowing these details. I don't think anyone is that invested in trying to screw with you. 

Are you in those other countries? If not, I don't see how that is relevant to your situation. 

If what happens in front of your face, exactly? I don't get what you think you would be front-row witness to, nor what you think you would do abou tit. She is allowed to date someone els, but it's unlikely they'd be all over each other right there for all their coworkers to see. 

I still think you are in your own head way too much and somehow think everyone else's behaviour is directed at you. That's a rather self-centred perspective. I doubt they care as much about you and messing with you or playing with you as you seem to be convinced. I am sure they all have more interesting things to do. 

I think you're under estimating how people can be jerks. I hope you're right though.

Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, zetamega said:

I think you're under estimating how people can be jerks. 

Nope, I am definitely not. I have met some people who much worse than your coworkers. 

I just doubt any of this matters as much to them as you fear it does. 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Wellll..  is there anyone else you could have a roll about in the hay with instead?    
 

might be less stressful than the work colleague 😎

Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, zetamega said:

I'm here with them you're not. So I'm not sure how you can say this. 

Because most people generally don't care as much about us as we think. I don't need to be there to say so. You have already shown a few times in this thread that you feel a lof their behaviour is all about you,  even refuting the very simple possibility that if this woman hooks up with someone else, it can't be because she finds said guy hot and wants to have sex with him. No, it must be because she wants to stick it you. 

You've made yourself the main character without actually having any clue if this people are giving you that much thought. Sometimes we do this when another explanation - that we just don't matter that much to someone - hurts a lot more. So we hang on to the theory that suggests we're important in some small way, such as being the real reason the person chooses to hook up with someone else. That may be an easier pill to swalow because it's not as resoundingly rejecting as, "well, she's not that into me and likes someone else."

Is this woman so upset with you that she would hook up with someone else to make you jealous? Anything is possible. Do I think it's probabe? Not really.  

But since you are convinced this situation matters to all these people, explore this: why would they be that interested in your love life? 

 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, zetamega said:

This is a first time experience for me. Usually if things don’t work out, I don’t see the person again. It’s done and over with. 

Not the case with this current situation.

It’s just a weird feeling, sensation I’m getting. Not sure why. It kinda feels like, okay you’re not going to react to my games so I’ll up the ante and start hooking up and being happy with another coworker in front of your face.

You honestly need something to redirect your attention to so that you can push all this stuff to the background. Have you heard of "grey rocking"? It's directly relevant to what we're discussing. Look it up on Google.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
3 hours ago, Georgia46 said:

Wellll..  is there anyone else you could have a roll about in the hay with instead?    
 

might be less stressful than the work colleague 😎

working on it :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
47 minutes ago, Acacia98 said:

You honestly need something to redirect your attention to so that you can push all this stuff to the background. Have you heard of "grey rocking"? It's directly relevant to what we're discussing. Look it up on Google.

I'll get past this. Just need some time and maybe take some vacation time away from work.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, zetamega said:

I'll get past this. Just need some time and maybe take some vacation time away from work.

Yes. And look up "grey rocking."

Link to post
Share on other sites
Georgia46
12 hours ago, zetamega said:

working on it :)

This thread has made me laugh. 
 

reminds me of my workplace - blooody nuts. 
 

don’t forget to update what happens I’m invested 🤣🤣🤣😉

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...