QueenPolaris Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 My fiance and I are going to get married in a year and a month. So my fiance is a divorcee and has a 10 year old son with his ex-wife. So now, thinking about the future, when I move into their house after we get married, im a bit concerned about our sleeping arrangement. Usually, when I sleep over his place, my fiance and his son sleep on the queen-size bed while I sleep on the single mattress on the floor because the mattress on the floor is closer to the air conditioner and usually I feel hot when I sleep. Now that they bought a new AC and it's very cold in the room, I feel that there should be a change in the sleeping arrangements. Usually before I sleep, i cuddle with my fiance . When I'm about to doze off, he would wake me up and say, "babe, you're sleepy. go to your bed..". That's usually the case and to be honest, i feel like a pet dog. I can't sleep on the bed because it will be too crowded for us three. Is this something I should be concerned about or am I just making this a big deal? By the way, the bio mom has left them 6 years ago and there is no contact anymore. Please help, I need advice on what to do. 😓 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 (edited) Is there no way to give the 10yo his own room or at least separate space? Edited January 13 by introverted1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 The child needs his own room at 10. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Esteban Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 Agree, but be careful. You don't want the son to think you are trying to push him out of the bed. So raise this carefully. Ask if there is any special reason they sleep together as well. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 Do you have any type of sexual relationship with your fiance? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 14 Share Posted January 14 A 10-year-old should not be sleeping with their parent every night. Why are they still sharing a bed? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 14 Share Posted January 14 (edited) @QueenPolaris I won't judge the co-sleeping because it's common in many cultures, even with kids who nearing teenage. I knew a family who's culture involved co-sleeping - the parents had a queen and the son had a single bed pushed against the marital bed. Can you do something like this? That said why are you agreeing to stay at his place if you are getting kicked out of the bed? And why are you marrying this man when you cannot do the most basic of problem solving together? Is premarital counselling available where you are? Edited January 14 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 (edited) My first question is, why is he sleeping with his 10 year old son? My second question is, why are you marrying a man and sleeping over at his house when he is still sleeping with his 10 year old son. Maybe they are not ready to change this dynamic, not ready for a woman to move into their home. I wouldn’t be moving in under this circumstance. (And I speak from experience, because my partner had a 12 year old son when we met. One of his comments was - he won’t feel comfortable coming to my bed if he needs something if you are there. I don’t sleep over or move in for many years until he was older). Edited January 18 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
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