Scottietohottie Posted September 23 Share Posted September 23 So I have a friend that I am trying to determine if she wants some of me or what. Here are the details: we have been friends for close to 20 years. She is single and I am not. She has a baking business and I was buying goods from her last year. She wanted to meet half way since we live close to an hour from each other. When I arrived it was a Walgreens that had closed and she made the comment that she was hoping no one else was there but there was. I didn’t think much of it at the time until I was replaying that comment in my head trying to determine what she meant. The only conclusion I came to was she wanted me to take her there in the parking lot. I have since flirted with her through text and we have hung out with our friend group several times. This past weekend I was sitting alone at a table and she came up and sit across from me. We talked like friends but she clearly displaying all the body language that she was thinking more. She moved her hair so I could see more of her neck and shoulder area, was licking her lips, feet pointed directly my way, laughed at my jokes. Then when she was leaving I gave her a big hug and when I was pulling away she clearly hung on a little longer than I did. I let the dust settle yesterday but did text her this morning. She simply said it was good to see everyone and to have a good week. She has me so flustered and confused I’m not sure if she wants some or not. My wife and I don’t have sex and I would normally never cheat but this girl is out of my league but clearly there is some major risk involved. What are your thoughts do you think she wants some but is just cautious or am I reading more in to it than I need to? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted September 23 Share Posted September 23 You need to leave Baker Woman's muffins alone. If you've known her for 20 years why is she suddenly giving you the come-on now? There's something weird about that. I understand that if your wife doesn't do sex you might be resentful and frustrated and look elsewhere, but to me it sounds like you might be about to put your sausage in the wrong roll. Seriously, any person who wants to meet up in a car park for sex is to be avoided, (unless it's your partner and it's a kinky thing), because she probably offers her baked goods to any guy who looks like he fancies a bit of pastry. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scottietohottie Posted September 24 Author Share Posted September 24 I could see you thinking that after 20 years but obviously there is a lot more to the story that I could tell but the question would be 10 pages long. One she had been married much of the 20 years which she isn’t now and although friends we didn’t see each other all that often to be close friends like we are now. I agree an empty parking lot would seem like a weird place to get dirty the first time, but what other options are there for that comment. She is definitely not the type to meet random guys to get some sex. The fact that I know her character and know who she is usually attracted to makes this situation even harder to decipher. I had myself convinced several months ago I was reading to much in to it but then she does something and blows that thought up entirely. Honestly I’m not even sure if I would go along with it if she does want some. The consequences would be massive when people find out because they will so a little ass is not worth it in the long run even though her ass is amazing! Maybe she is just as confused as I am as well and has the same thoughts and that is why she is hot or cold. Who knows but it would be nice to know so I could make a decision either way and move on. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia46 Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 (edited) Hi Scottietohottie … what would happen if you got caught, would the sex be worth it? maybe try addressing why your wife doesn’t want sex with you also? Edited September 24 by Georgia46 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 The short answer is “No, you shouldn’t”. The long answer is “Either you and your wife work on your sexual issues and solve them, or they are unsolvable and you divorce. In either case, having an affair now will only make things worse”. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scottietohottie Posted September 24 Author Share Posted September 24 I totally agree that sleeping with her is risky and like I said I’m not sure I would even do it. I have tried to explain and talk through the issue with my wife. We have been married over 23 years so we have a very open relationship. She doesn’t understand and it just makes her upset and feel worthless that she can not please her man. I love my wife more than anything and the last thing I would want to do is hurt her. This question was not about the morality of my actions which I know are very wrong but about if I was sensing this woman is attracted to me or if I was reading in to it what I want the answer to be. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 4 minutes ago, Scottietohottie said: I have tried to explain and talk through the issue with my wife. We have been married over 23 years so we have a very open relationship. She doesn’t understand and it just makes her upset and feel worthless that she can not please her man. I don’t understand, do you have an open relationship or are you just openly sleeping with other women and that makes her upset? An open relationship is where both partners voluntarily agree that they’re both okay with the partner having sex with other people, and then devise a strict and precise set of equal rules for both. Is that what you and your wife agreed upon? Why is she feeling worthless that she can’t “please you”? How exactly is she unable to satisfy your sexually? In my opinion, the issues you need to address ASAP are these, and not whether you should or should not have a fling with someone or what that someone wants from you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scottietohottie Posted September 24 Author Share Posted September 24 No not in an open relationship but my wife and I have been married for so long that we have great conversations and talk through issues as they arise. The issue is she doesn’t do what I need in the bedroom. I’m not going in to details of what that is but I have not been fulfilled by her in close to 5 years all while remaining faithful and not sleeping around. I have explained to her multiple times what I need and try to tell her but she isn’t willing to do those things. I’m not asking for anything kinky but a good bj or different positions other than missionary would be nice every once in a while. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 3 hours ago, Scottietohottie said: The issue is she doesn’t do what I need in the bedroom. The issue is that no person on Earth needs sexual variety, it's just something they want. Needs and wants are two very different things. Nature gave you a hand so you can jerk yourself silly fantasising about the things you want. If your wife isn't interested in doing the things you enjoy, maybe there's a good reason for that. Many women turn off sex with a partner when the partner starts taking them for granted. You say you haven't been sexually fulfilled by your wife for at least five years "all while remaining faithful" - you make it sounds like being faithful is a big favour to your wife. Do you think maybe this could be part of the reason she's turned off....your male ego? Just something to ponder . 18 hours ago, Scottietohottie said: She is definitely not the type to meet random guys to get some sex. But she is the type to come on to someone else's husband. This makes her, at best, a woman whose divorce has left her lost, lonely, and confused and behaving in a way she normally wouldn't, at worst a sleazy low-life. Discuss the issue with your wife, give her the opportunity to explain why she resents you so much that she doesn't care about your "needs", (wants). If you're so desperate for a BJ that you feel the need to cheat on your wife, (who you say you love), go find a sex worker so there's no chance of comeback or emotional involvement. Leave the baker to offer her cream bun to other guys. It sounds like you're more excited by the possibility that this woman is attracted to you than the actual idea of a sneaky liaison, so that's something to discuss with your wife too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted September 25 Share Posted September 25 6 hours ago, Scottietohottie said: The issue is she doesn’t do what I need in the bedroom. I’m not going in to details of what that is but I have not been fulfilled by her in close to 5 years all while remaining faithful and not sleeping around. I have explained to her multiple times what I need and try to tell her but she isn’t willing to do those things. I’m not asking for anything kinky but a good bj or different positions other than missionary would be nice every once in a while. Why isn’t she willing to do those things? If there is such serious sexual incompatibility between you two that you’ve been feeling unfulfilled by sex with her for 5 years (!), why did you marry her in the first place? Or she wasn’t like this before and then she changed? If so, then why? There must be some deeper reasons for that. Maybe she isn’t satisfied herself? Isn’t attracted to you anymore? You have to get to the bottom of this. There is nothing wrong with wanting blowjobs, also there is nothing wrong with wanting kinky sex. We all have our own personal criteria for sexual satisfaction, and they should be made known to our prospective partner before we commit to such a long-term format as marriage. It’s not a matter of right and wrong, it’s a matter of compatibility. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 25 Share Posted September 25 Eh, this "friend" of yours wants to make herself feel better after her divorce. She surely knows you are attracted to her, (we ladies almost always do), so she plays that to her advantage when she feels undesireable, bored or lonely. You would be wise not to read into it as more than that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scottietohottie Posted September 25 Author Share Posted September 25 I guess things will play out how they play out. I am about 90% sure this woman is at minimum attracted to me. Now if she would ever act on is another story. I guess we will see next time we are alone and the sexual tension is high what happens. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 25 Share Posted September 25 2 hours ago, Scottietohottie said: I guess things will play out how they play out. Come on, dude. Things will play out the way you choose. If you choose to cheat, own it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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