Lewis321 Posted September 13 Share Posted September 13 So I ended up in the same place as my ex girlfriend today, first time I saw her since we broke up 3 years ago, have been in no contact throughout. This has never happened to me before, I know for definite that I don't want her back but it's been bothering me all day. I initiated conversation with her, was happy, pleasant and held good eye contact and wasn't needy. We had a brief conversation about how our kids have been and went on our ways. Over time I got to the point where I just didn't think about her anymore but now I feel like I'm back to square one. Not really asking a particular question I just keep asking myself is it normal to feel like this and should I have done anything different? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted September 13 Share Posted September 13 (edited) Dude, there is a classic song about the encounter you had with your ex. It's called "What's New?" And there are dozens of versions out there. I highly recommend the Sinatra version from the album "Only the Lonely." There is a fantastic Linda Ronstadt version as well. You are not back to square one. It's just that yes, this woman still has a place in your heart. That's fine. Don't pursue her and your heart will quiet down. To draw an analogy, a friend of mine learned that her college bf had died. She hadn't seen the guy in 40 years, and she didn't think the news was all that important to her. But news of the death actually hit her and make her think and remember and reminisce and on and on. She came to accept that her college bf's death was significant. A kind of marker about life and the shortness of life and the choices she made. After a few weeks, her emotions moved on. Listen to the Sinatra and Ronstadt versions of "What's New?" Let yourself daydream and long for a day. And then just immerse yourself in your life, go have fun. Your heart will move on. Having that momentary attraction--really it's deep curiosity---is no sign that you should try to resume dating. All the same problems that drove you apart will be there again. Edited September 13 by Lotsgoingon 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lewis321 Posted September 13 Author Share Posted September 13 15 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said: Dude, there is a classic song about the encounter you had with your ex. It's called "What's New?" And there are dozens of versions out there. I highly recommend the Sinatra version from the album "Only the Lonely." There is a fantastic Linda Ronstadt version as well. You are not back to square one. It's just that yes, this woman still has a place in your heart. That's fine. Don't pursue her and your heart will quiet down. To draw an analogy, a friend of mine learned that her college bf had died. She hadn't seen the guy in 40 years, and she didn't think the news was all that important to her. But news of the death actually hit her and make her think and remember and reminisce and on and on. She came to accept that her college bf's death was significant. A kind of marker about life and the shortness of life and the choices she made. After a few weeks, her emotions moved on. Listen to the Sinatra and Ronstadt versions of "What's New?" Let yourself daydream and long for a day. And then just immerse yourself in your life, go have fun. Your heart will move on. Having that momentary attraction--really it's deep curiosity---is no sign that you should try to resume dating. All the same problems that drove you apart will be there again. Thankyou much appreciated, will do. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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