Mahan Abadai Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 My wife and I been married for about 10 years having 2 children. She has been deeply in love with me so I have as well. She is very social person, active in her business with lots of friends which I know most of them. There has been one specific friend to whom my wife is in close relationship, beautiful woman , socialize person to whom my wife is in close relationship and they go out with other friends and collogues. She has been single, very professional and lovely person. In the last 3-4 years, my wife travelled with her for work and short holiday with no issue. She also invited her few time to our house for dinner who spent the night at our house and leaving the next day. Couple of times, I asked her about her boyfriend or single situation which she did not feel comfortable to address my question so I forgot that. Few times in our summer house I asked her to come into the pool and swim with us and play with children which she denied for some reasons and I did not insist neither my wife. Around few weeks ago in our villa, my wife asked me as she and her friend would like to spend sometime in sauna later in the night and would like to be alone which I did not see any issue. However out of curiosity, I approached the sauna and found something shocking. I saw my wife giving her friend Oral S and when I looked carefully i noticed her friend with a male productive part. I went inside right away and both of them screamed and shocked. I found her friend is a transexual woman with a male organ. Later in the night, my wife admitted she is in deep love with her friend and they have had a full intercourse and sexual penetration over the last couple of years. She says she loves me and she does not want separation and I do not really know what to do. She is asking me to be a part of this romantic relationship as she cannot break up with her friend. I am very confused and need help for next action. Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 Did you know that your wife was bi prior to this? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 Divorce her. One penis in the house is more than enough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 I strongly suggest that you get tested for STDs. Wow. Your wife has been screwing this person behind your back for years and expects you to be okay with it? How would she feel if you had been screwing another person behind her back for years? You would have to be crazy to put up with this. She has clearly shown you that she has no respect for you whatsoever. If you do not respect yourself, then who will? Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted April 10 Share Posted April 10 It sounds like you are open to it. Is this the case? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mahan Abadai Posted April 10 Author Share Posted April 10 9 hours ago, Sony12 said: Did you know that your wife was bi prior to this? She said she is not bi. Do you see her as bi here? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mahan Abadai Posted April 10 Author Share Posted April 10 22 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: It sounds like you are open to it. Is this the case? I love my wife very much. I do not want to hurt her feeling. She has been in big relationship with this friend and I always thought this is just two women having good time and a good friendship. Now I see this friend is not only a woman but having a full penetration sexual with my wife over the last couple of years which has been pleasant to my wife. How can I be a part of this? This is not a lesbian relationship . Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted April 10 Share Posted April 10 If she's a trans woman then she's a woman, just has not had "bottom surgery." Maybe she will have that sometime in the future. You'll have to talk to your wife about how she envisions the three of you going on as a "throuple." You won't be the first people who have done it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mahan Abadai Posted April 10 Author Share Posted April 10 4 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: If she's a trans woman then she's a woman, just has not had "bottom surgery." Maybe she will have that sometime in the future. You'll have to talk to your wife about how she envisions the three of you going on as a "throuple." You won't be the first people who have done it. She has a penis and mu wife told me her friend has penetrated inside her with penis. As I understood she is not going to do any surgery and penis will always be there. My wife asked me to try once a sexual partnering and see as her friend does not act like a man. I liked her friend as a woman but now with this situation, something I cannot cope easily. Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted April 10 Share Posted April 10 11 minutes ago, Mahan Abadai said: She has a penis and mu wife told me her friend has penetrated inside her with penis. As I understood she is not going to do any surgery and penis will always be there. My wife asked me to try once a sexual partnering and see as her friend does not act like a man. I liked her friend as a woman but now with this situation, something I cannot cope easily. Was your wife's friend born that way or did she have the male organ implanted when she knew she wanted to have sex with women? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mahan Abadai Posted April 10 Author Share Posted April 10 7 minutes ago, Sony12 said: Was your wife's friend born that way or did she have the male organ implanted when she knew she wanted to have sex with women? My wife told me she did not know she was a trans woman with a penis. They have been friend like one year and she thought her friend is a woman with no sexual intention. I am not sure about if she was born like this or any surgery as my wife did not mention it. My wife was also surprised when she saw her first time with penis and then could not reject her sexual approach,. Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted April 10 Share Posted April 10 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Mahan Abadai said: My wife told me she did not know she was a trans woman with a penis. They have been friend like one year and she thought her friend is a woman with no sexual intention. I am not sure about if she was born like this or any surgery as my wife did not mention it. My wife was also surprised when she saw her first time with penis and then could not reject her sexual approach,. Then I would assume your wife secretly is attracted to women. I wouldn't imagine a heterosexual woman would be attracted to another woman with a penis. Edited April 10 by Sony12 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mahan Abadai Posted April 10 Author Share Posted April 10 21 minutes ago, Sony12 said: Then I would assume your wife secretly is attracted to women. I wouldn't imagine a heterosexual woman would be attracted to another woman with a penis. I asked the same question. She said she had no interest in woman and would not be having full sex if her friend did not have a penis. Her friend once got her once in a situation which she was trying to resist and then noted the penis and continued. She says if I join into the relationship , I would her a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Harry Posted April 10 Share Posted April 10 you are serious. ? No matter how someone dresses. If they have male organ , having penetration sex with your wife. She is creating. Your DW had to know this trans person was a trans person. Holding back with this information, is just of bad as having sex with a male co worker. Even worst because she is doing it in front of you. I don’t know how yiyr relationship is, but you being upset means you are not happy with this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mahan Abadai Posted April 10 Author Share Posted April 10 6 hours ago, Harry said: you are serious. ? No matter how someone dresses. If they have male organ , having penetration sex with your wife. She is creating. Your DW had to know this trans person was a trans person. Holding back with this information, is just of bad as having sex with a male co worker. Even worst because she is doing it in front of you. I don’t know how yiyr relationship is, but you being upset means you are not happy with this. She may have known. I do not know. She may have guessed but I never did and could not be thinking of that until i saw. I am not happy with this situation. They are still talking and she likely to meeting her friend as same as before. I did not ask her. But our relatsihip and sexual nights have been stopped. She says to me the only way to get out of this together is I join into their dating. Otherwise we may end up with breakup. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted April 11 Share Posted April 11 The bottom line is that, trans or no, your wife is cheating on you. The fact the other person is trans doesn't really factor. Some people would instantly be done, you seem to be trying to figure out what to do. While I'm not recommending a specific course of action, IF you want to try to stay together you could consider whether to offer your wife an ultimatum whereby either she completely ends the relationship with the "friend" or you do what you need to do to feel comfortable with your life and emotionally safe in your relationship. This would in theory force her to choose - there's a risk she'd either choose the "friend" or refuse to end the relationship with them, so you'd have to consider whether you really want to try this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Stupidkupid Posted April 11 Share Posted April 11 I feel bad for you OP, as you were trusting and open. I agree with Mark, it doesn't matter what gender, that's a side issue. She's been cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
elsaberg Posted April 11 Share Posted April 11 Whether it's with a man, woman, or trans person, cheating is cheating. I feel for you..If I were in your shoes, I'd tell her straight up that what she's doing isn't okay and she needs to pick - is it going to be her trans friend or you? Also..someone with a penis isn't a woman, so she can't really claim it's just a lesbian thing.. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted April 11 Share Posted April 11 It is pretty evident that she has already left you and that her lover is far more important to her than you. Seek out a good lawyer and get tested for STDs. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted April 11 Share Posted April 11 Yeah, if your wife isn't willing to end that other relationship, I'd be preparing to pack up and go buddy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mahan Abadai Posted April 11 Author Share Posted April 11 On one side I agree with you all to pack and leave. But on other side, I love her a lot and she loves me too. we have children. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 OK, so what to you want to do? That is the only question you need answered and you have to answer it for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mahan Abadai Posted April 12 Author Share Posted April 12 47 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: OK, so what to you want to do? That is the only question you need answered and you have to answer it for yourself. Thanks. If I engage in this relationship of trio, would she eventually end this with her friend? Or her friend would stop and leave? Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 3 hours ago, Mahan Abadai said: Thanks. If I engage in this relationship of trio, would she eventually end this with her friend? Or her friend would stop and leave? I don't know. It would not be a good idea for you to go into it with that expectation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mahan Abadai Posted April 15 Author Share Posted April 15 On 4/12/2024 at 2:18 PM, NuevoYorko said: I don't know. It would not be a good idea for you to go into it with that expectation. I am trying to stay out of this. However my marriage seems to be broken with no result. Link to post Share on other sites
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