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Dating Spanish extrovert guy

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hello friends, Im dating a spanish guy for a year already, we both are living abroad together.

We broke up during summer time after 5 months of dating and I went back to my country for couple months. During the breakup he was hooking up with 2 girls who were from his new friend group. After I came back, we talked a lot, got back to dating again and even moved together in couple months. Everything was perfect in the beginning, I was just joining new friend group and having good time, but at some point, it started to annoy - Seeing my boyfriend claiming having no social battery with me to talk back but in 20 minutes being really talkative and happy in some corner of the party with one of the girl he was hooking up night before my arrival. We talked few times and he keep claiming that it was normal thing to continue friendship after hooking up when they are sharing same friend group. I tried to be understanding and stopped giving attention to that details meanwhile seeing my boyfriend was decreasing their closeness. After a month of me being understanding with the topic, he came with the statement that he was going to Mountains house for a weekend with friends from volunteering work and to understand. Then I realized it was same new friend group and this girl, we discussed few times was also coming and since i was not official member i could not join. I didn't directly ask him not to go, but i explained how uncomfortable and anxious i would feel during the 3 days. his texting skills are not good and in those days when he will be constantly drinking alcohol, having fun and talking people, his 4 messages a day might really freak me up. Also considering that this girl is being really mean towards me in group gatherings and really confident towards him in front of me, makes me really freak out what drunk HER might try to do in the midnight alone in mountains house with my boyfriend even I trust him. 

Our argument went almost to the point where he was being really aggressive claiming I was crazy,controlling jealous girlfriend not letting him talk or do things. we were on the edge of breakup from my side because i could not stand such ignorance of my feelings and still protecting the 2 weeks hookup fake friendship. We calmed down, talked again, both understood each other's perspective. I tried to be more understanding and he removed her from social media as a sign of not caring and told me he is not going to the trip. 

Another two weeks after he came again saying he really feels sad about not joining the friends because everyone is texting and thinks is going to be fun and if i changed my mind about going. After few more arguments I really felt like psycho toxic girlfriend and gave up, asked to register and go and promised nothing will change after he comes back. I was still expecting him to continue saying our relationship and my feelings were more important than fun trip but in the end he registered. Now im stuck and confused, feeling mad already with my feelings which are coming. I really really trust him and see how invested and caring is he, but he really is aware of my feelings and views about the topic and he still choosing that decision, kills me. 

I understand we are really different, he is Spanish party lover extrovert and I am career oriented, deep connection lover introvert. I also appreciate the care, love and attention I receive from it. But I dont understand am I being toxic and limiting girlfriend or asking the common sense that someone shall be aware of?

My study program is finishing in few months and i need to come back to my country or prolong and stay one more semester here. But after that arguments and conflicts, i am really unsure if it is worth it.  We are 26-27. 

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Please finish your program and go back to your home. If he wants to play around, let him do it on his own time. 

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I'm sorry, I don't see this having a happy ending. He wants to go have fun... enjoy himself, and you 'allowing' only allows his resentment to fester (while not changing your mind and the same issues on both sides coming again and affecting everything) - plus, nobody wants somebody who is going to prevent the other person from going out and having fun, right?

Sounds like he complained until you caved in. The drunk and flirtations hippo is tougher to deal with ;).

You're not understanding each other's perspective but there's a 'friends and girls' group there, the group we all know isn't somebody who has friends with an ex fling. Joining it should be out of the question. It shouldn't be his thing, even justifying his friends groups existence. On the other hand, you already talked, you made amends (but there was no amends to make, it's a false premise for a fight). He gets to do the trip, you don't go [it has matched his actions], you've voiced it.

So, if you don't want to break-up then book a ticket back home for a few weeks. Then go back, kill this relationship slowly and surely, it'll be over by the end of the year. 

Edited by Alpacalia
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