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I'm struggling

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K will be used to reference my boyfriend-

I've been preparing a trip to Hawaii with my mother as a special gift after our difficult year and the stress she's been coping with. I've been saving money for a long time and have more than enough to fund the trip entirely on my own. My mother and I decided that this vacation would be shared between us, with her covering the flights and me getting the accommodation. 
1. K offers to fund the vacation. I don't want him to, and I never asked him to, but he keeps doing it. 
2. I finally accept and say that he can assist with flying. 

Mom and the Southwest Issues:

3. Mom accumulated 33,000 flight mile points. (1 mile = $1.50; 1.5/33000 = $429)

4. Mom's round-trip ticket cost $1049 with a departure time other than 6 a.m. and arrival around the same time. Doing this, my mom loses 33k points and STILL pays $500

5. . I discovered a round trip on United Airlines for $537.

I informed K that I found my mother a flight that he could help get if he still wanted to help. I assumed that by using his credit card, she would receive a discount of -$95 ($466 round trip), however there was no actual reduction because his credit card did not cover the basic economy seat. Therefore, it made no reason for him to pay after all

6. Despite my objections to my mom wasting her points, K insists  (this has happened 5 times at this point so far). 


I have had enough of him trying to force my mother to buy flights with points and not listening.


So now we are back to:

7. K continues to lobby for the hotel. - I explain why it's important for me to get the hotel


He has me completely overwhelmed: 

8. I feel like he's attempting to manage my vacation.
9.  He doesn't plan to take the vacation.

10. He won't just accept me saying "using the points is not a good plan, I found a better one."

11. Unwillingness to see the importance of why I want to get the hotel


20 minutes later....

He's still saying I'm wrong about Southwest. He's upset that I won't let him pay for the hotel, and he refuses to believe that I know what I'm doing with the flights. He is upset because I will not let him participate in MY TRIP WITH MY MOM when it comes to planning. I must repeat myself so many times that I can't take it any longer. He sees me unhappy and after requesting him to leave, he turns this around makes it appear as if he has NO IDEA why I am now yelling and telling him to leave the room. I tell him I'm not debating with him about the decisions I made for my trip or listening to him demand he get the hotel!


He refuses to leave me alone and further pushes him paying for the hotel, not hearing my reasons behind my decisions for this trip and will continue to try to bring up the Southwest Points. I lose my s*** because of how he keeps repeating everything he says and hears nothing ! I feel like this can't be real life because of how much he repeats himself this entire conversation and I need him to leave now. 


He can push me and do this repeat thing, completely disregarding everything I say and not respecting my choice of what he can pay for, even though I don't want him to do anything, and I am expected to be mature and simply let him pay for anything he wants and get the flights that he wants because "He knows best". I feel like I am going crazy and need to just be alone for a while..... someone please tell me I am wrong for having a reaction to this....


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20 minutes ago, Always-wrong said:

He refuses to leave me alone and further pushes him paying for the hotel, not hearing my reasons behind my decisions for this trip 

Please enjoy your vacation with your mother and keep the controlling know-it-all BF completely out of it. It's really that simple. 

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Tell him you aren’t discussing anything about the trip with him.

if he wants to help that badly - have him give you cash and keep his opinions to himself. Hopefully he doesn’t donate the money - he seems to think his money gives him the right to control you. So maybe don’t even suggest that.

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Tell him thanks but no thanks.  

He wants control.  He wants something other than to be nice.  If he wanted to be nice he could hand you cash & walk away.  He's not doing that so you have to figure out what he wants & why he's pushing so hard.  Then push back. 

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Why are you with a guy who is this disrespectful and controlling?  Honestly, why are you putting up with this?  There is no way I'd put up with a guy trying to control something in my life that has nothing to do with him.  I'd show him the door really quick.  This only goes on for as long as you allow it.

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Ah, The Know All, one of the most annoying personalities there is. They blithely overlook the fact that you once survived without them around to tell you how to run your life, and insist on dropping their pearls of far superior wisdom and know-how into almost every conversation. If you're cooking they know a better way to boil water, if you're driving they'll tell you when to indicate, when to speed up or slow down, and where to park. If they could follow you into the bathroom they'd explain to you how to s**t the right way. Him offering to pay isn't so much about generosity as about lobbying for a bit of control, and paying for the right to give his ever-available opinions and advice. Tell him straight up to stop telling you what to do. If he doesn't, get rid of him :) . 

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