Aquarius1 Posted June 30 Share Posted June 30 Hi everyone! There is a guy I'm in a fwb relationship with. In the beginning he has often made this kind of behaviour to me, let's say hot and cold. During the time everything got better, he started to show his love in different ways, regardless of the fact that our relationship is not romantic, I had started to feel love from him . Today he ignored my sms again, after a long time. I feel like he is cold again.Should I understand anything or this is just a normal situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted June 30 Share Posted June 30 10 minutes ago, Aquarius1 said: Should I understand anything or this is just a normal situation? He’s not your boyfriend so don’t expect him to act like one. Don’t even think of it as “hot and cold” because, as you said, this isn’t a romantic relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 30 Share Posted June 30 (edited) 1 hour ago, Aquarius1 said: , he started to show his love in different ways, regardless of the fact that our relationship is not romantic, I had started to feel love from him . Sorry this is happening. How long have you been seeing each other? Are you exclusive? Why did you agree to an on/off FWB situation? Unfortunately it seems like you want different things. He seems to want convenient no strings sex, and from the "love" talk, it sounds like you would rather have a BF/relationship than this no-strings nebulous situationship. Just step back and reflect. Spare yourself a lot of headaches and heartaches and consider cutting your losses. It's not going to end well for you if you catch feelings and he treats you as disposable fun. Edited June 30 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 30 Share Posted June 30 What did your sms say? Was it a question or anything that needs a response? It’s not out of the ordinary for there to be some affection between fwbs. Not sure about love. Maybe in a platonic or universal way. I’d say the likelihood he’s dating others or has his eyes set on someone else is pretty high. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aquarius1 Posted June 30 Author Share Posted June 30 3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry this is happening. How long have you been seeing each other? Are you exclusive? Why did you agree to an on/off FWB situation? Unfortunately it seems like you want different things. He seems to want convenient no strings sex, and from the "love" talk, it sounds like you would rather have a BF/relationship than this no-strings nebulous situationship. Just step back and reflect. Spare yourself a lot of headaches and heartaches and consider cutting your losses. It's not going to end well for you if you catch feelings and he treats you as disposable fun. To be honest, he was the one who show some kind of feelings like he is interested on my life, my love life, is jealous all the time etc etc and I thought our relationship was becoming something different. Now, I don't know what is happening on his mind 😑 and heart Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aquarius1 Posted June 30 Author Share Posted June 30 Just now, Aquarius1 said: We are together for 6 months now.To be honest, he was the one who show some kind of feelings like he is interested on my life, my love life, is jealous all the time etc etc and I thought our relationship was becoming something different. Now, I don't know what is happening on his mind 😑 and heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aquarius1 Posted June 30 Author Share Posted June 30 36 minutes ago, glows said: What did your sms say? Was it a question or anything that needs a response? It’s not out of the ordinary for there to be some affection between fwbs. Not sure about love. Maybe in a platonic or universal way. I’d say the likelihood he’s dating others or has his eyes set on someone else is pretty high. I asked him if we could talk or he was busy, and he didnt reply, then later I wrote sorry to bother you and he didnt reply again. And I have to mention, we work together and in the morning we saw each other and he show the same affection signs toward me when we are in person. But online I feel like he is turning more distant, I dont know why Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 30 Share Posted June 30 2 hours ago, Aquarius1 said: I asked him if we could talk or he was busy, and he didnt reply, then later I wrote sorry to bother you and he didnt reply again. And I have to mention, we work together and in the morning we saw each other and he show the same affection signs toward me when we are in person. But online I feel like he is turning more distant, I dont know why Don’t reach out anymore and stay professional at work. When someone is interested you know that they will reply. If this is too much dating or having an fwb for a coworker then say you’re busy and distance yourself. You have to watch a person’s actions more closely, less about the words. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted June 30 Share Posted June 30 Yes, it means you don't mean as much to him as you thought. Also means he might be with another woman or just prioritizing some other part of his life. To be blunt, an FBW is low in the life priority list. And he can't tell you the truth if he is with another woman. If you want an exclusive committed relationship where he commits to responding quickly to your texts (which is big demand for FWB) you need to stand up and walk through the front door and ask for it. You're trying to sneak into a relationship quietly in the dark, through the back door. Does not work. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 30 Share Posted June 30 3 hours ago, Aquarius1 said: I feel like he is turning more distant, I dont know why Please consider walking away before you hurt yourself more. He is sensing you want more. Do whatever is best for you not this situationship. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 1 Share Posted July 1 4 hours ago, Aquarius1 said: To be honest, he was the one who show some kind of feelings like he is interested on my life, my love life, is jealous all the time etc etc and I thought our relationship was becoming something different. Now, I don't know what is happening on his mind 😑 and heart This doesn't indicate romantic interest. I'm interested in the life and love life of my mates....it's just part of discussion. As for the jealousy, it's not uncommon for someone to not want a relationship, but to also not want them to see others. People aren't always logical What did you need to talk about with him? Was it important? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted July 1 Share Posted July 1 Anytime someone is ignoring your texts, they are showing you that they are not interested in you, and that you are not a priority to them. There's nothing left to do but stop expecting anything from them, and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted July 1 Share Posted July 1 Don't take him seriously. He's supposed to be an FWB. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 On 6/30/2023 at 10:35 PM, Aquarius1 said: I thought our relationship was becoming something different. If it hasn't developed into more after a year, it's not going to. Maybe he is talking to someone else now. Maybe he is trying to avoid an awkward conversation with you by ignoring your request to talk. Whatever the case, this needed to come an end at some point. You want more and it appears that he does not. It's time to extricate yourself from this. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 On 6/30/2023 at 12:18 PM, Aquarius1 said: Hi everyone! There is a guy I'm in a fwb relationship with. In the beginning he has often made this kind of behaviour to me, let's say hot and cold. During the time everything got better, he started to show his love in different ways, regardless of the fact that our relationship is not romantic, I had started to feel love from him . Today he ignored my sms again, after a long time. I feel like he is cold again.Should I understand anything or this is just a normal situation? He is a FWB so why should he show love? Respect I can understand, love is for a gf. I think you have caught romantic feelings with your FWB and probably need to end it so you don't end up hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Ageless Wisdom23 Posted July 4 Share Posted July 4 If this has been going On, Hot and Cold, I feel he pulls back when he fee😒ls it is getting way too serious for his own liking. He should talk to you of boundaries instead of ignoring you so rudely. Don't be used. Let him go. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted July 5 Share Posted July 5 You need to cut this off with him OP. He's not romantically interested, just physically. He doesn't feel what you feel in your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
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