Janc07 Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 I matched with this guy on tinder back in October. We never met up before but we were texting everyday. In April, I matched with this other guy on tinder. When we matched, he gave me his Instagram. When I went on his Instagram to follow him, I saw that the guy who I matched with in October follows him. Not only that, but they're also friends. We would DM each other from time to time. No flirting. Just friendly, normal conversation. A month ago when the pandemic was still kind of bad, I told the guy who I matched with in October that I wouldn't break quarantine to see a guy until this was all over. Now that NYC has reached phase 2, I have been seeing my friends. The guy who I matched with in April and I made plans to see each other on Thursday but I had an interview for a hospital so we didn't meet up. Right after my interview, I texted the guy who I matched with in October that I had an interview in a hospital because we're both nurses. He left me on read for a couple of hours and didn't reply back to me until a couple of hours later. I texted him and he left me on read and never texted me back since then. It's been 2 days. The other day, I saw that he unliked a few of my pictures and ever since he left me on read, he stopped watching all my stories. Does the guy I matched with in October know that I was supposed to see his friend or is his behavior not related to me making plans to see his friend? What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 6 minutes ago, Janc07 said: What should I do? Not trip on someone being that petty. If Mr. October doesn't want to deal with you, then he doesn't want to deal with you. Concentrate on Mr. April. There was no way for you to know how good a friend, even if they are friends and not just a follower, the two of them were and you're not committed to either of them, so who you date/talk to isn't any of the other's business. Mr. October should have made his case known to you. He didn't. Tough rocks. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 11 minutes ago, Janc07 said: Does the guy I matched with in October know that I was supposed to see his friend or is his behavior not related to me making plans to see his friend? What should I do? Respectively: it's anyone's guess, and you do nothing. If he is upset or doesn't want to talk to you, no big loss. It doesn't sound like there was much of a connection if you'd been talking since October but never managed to meet even before lock-down. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Sake Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 1 hour ago, Janc07 said: I matched with this guy on tinder back in October. We never met up before but we were texting everyday. In April, I matched with this other guy on tinder. When we matched, he gave me his Instagram. When I went on his Instagram to follow him, I saw that the guy who I matched with in October follows him. Not only that, but they're also friends. We would DM each other from time to time. No flirting. Just friendly, normal conversation. A month ago when the pandemic was still kind of bad, I told the guy who I matched with in October that I wouldn't break quarantine to see a guy until this was all over. Now that NYC has reached phase 2, I have been seeing my friends. The guy who I matched with in April and I made plans to see each other on Thursday but I had an interview for a hospital so we didn't meet up. Right after my interview, I texted the guy who I matched with in October that I had an interview in a hospital because we're both nurses. He left me on read for a couple of hours and didn't reply back to me until a couple of hours later. I texted him and he left me on read and never texted me back since then. It's been 2 days. The other day, I saw that he unliked a few of my pictures and ever since he left me on read, he stopped watching all my stories. Does the guy I matched with in October know that I was supposed to see his friend or is his behavior not related to me making plans to see his friend? What should I do? He might know that you’re interested in his friend, and to be honest if I was him knowing that, I would wonder why the hell you were messaging me about your interview , when you made arrangements to see my friend and had to skip the date because of that very interview you just messaged me about. I would run too. It would look like a bit of a love triangle or potentially like the girl was playing me. I think he was more interested in you than you think. of course, pure speculation , there could be plenty other reasons too , maybe totally unrelated. a few questions tho- How did the conversation with mr October come up a month ago , that you weren’t going to date until quarantine was over ? Did he bring that up or did you and in what respect? I have a funny feeling this has something to do with it , alongside you dating his friend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Janc07 Posted June 29, 2020 Author Share Posted June 29, 2020 (edited) Quote He might know that you’re interested in his friend, and to be honest if I was him knowing that, I would wonder why the hell you were messaging me about your interview , when you made arrangements to see my friend and had to skip the date because of that very interview you just messaged me about. I would run too. It would look like a bit of a love triangle or potentially like the girl was playing me. I think he was more interested in you than you think. of course, pure speculation , there could be plenty other reasons too , maybe totally unrelated. a few questions tho- How did the conversation with mr October come up a month ago , that you weren’t going to date until quarantine was over ? Did he bring that up or did you and in what respect? I have a funny feeling this has something to do with it , alongside you dating his friend. Another guy who i went on a date with asked if i wanted to go out with him when covid was still kind of bad in May. I was debating if i should meet up with him. I was asking my friends including the guy from Oct if i should go out with the guy and break quarantine. The guy from Oct said no Edited June 30, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fixed quote. Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Sake Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 That took me a minute to realise you’re first quote of me was YOUR reply. Thought maybe I had had a stroke or something while typing lol. Have you asked him what’s up? Cos there’s not a lot more to go on. You really won’t know much of an answer until then. only if it’s going to eat at you tho. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Janc07 Posted June 29, 2020 Author Share Posted June 29, 2020 7 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: That took me a minute to realise you’re first quote of me was YOUR reply. Thought maybe I had had a stroke or something while typing lol. Have you asked him what’s up? Cos there’s not a lot more to go on. You really won’t know much of an answer until then. only if it’s going to eat at you tho. Whats wrong with his behavior? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 Men rarely want to be just friends with women. You made Mr October who was on Tinder looking for a date, into a friend, when if you were not interested you should have stopped speaking to him. Now he is getting in the way and getting upset when you want to date his friend. It is all too messy and incestuous. You cannot be friends with men who want to date you, it hurts them too much. Also men who want to date you, will hate your male "friends" and get jealous and upset. You will not want to bin your male "friends", and again it just gets too messy... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 Since Mr. October couldn't get off his duff & manage to meet you between October & March you were well within your rights to talk to other men. I wasn't your fault that you coincidently picked his buddy & that the buddy had more sense to try to arrange a date / meeting. Mr. October needs to learn that when you snooze you lose. 2 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
notbroken Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 It doesn't matter whose 'fault' it was. Many guys don't want to date people their friends have dated. Too much potential for drama. Your allure dropped in his eyes the minute you dated his friend. Right or wrong it just 'is'. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 You should not keep men around just because, because they will just try to get in the way and block you from relationships. Just let it go with him. In fact, block him so he can't even see what you're doing and with whom. If something was going to happen, there was plenty of time for it to happen before covid, sounds like. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 What do you want with the guy from October? You told him you wouldn't break quarantine to see a guy, then made a date to see his friend. You asked him about breaking quarantine to see another guy. Do you honestly expect that he would still be interested in dating you after all that? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 You are trying to burn both ends of a stick and as a result, you have been burned. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Roswell91 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 20 minutes ago, preraph said: You should not keep men around just because, because they will just try to get in the way and block you from relationships. Just let it go with him. In fact, block him so he can't even see what you're doing and with whom. If something was going to happen, there was plenty of time for it to happen before covid, sounds like. This is so true. There are guys who i "friendzoned" and will always be negative or insult new guys i tell them about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Roswell91 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 22 hours ago, Janc07 said: I matched with this guy on tinder back in October. We never met up before but we were texting everyday. In April, I matched with this other guy on tinder. When we matched, he gave me his Instagram. When I went on his Instagram to follow him, I saw that the guy who I matched with in October follows him. Not only that, but they're also friends. We would DM each other from time to time. No flirting. Just friendly, normal conversation. A month ago when the pandemic was still kind of bad, I told the guy who I matched with in October that I wouldn't break quarantine to see a guy until this was all over. Now that NYC has reached phase 2, I have been seeing my friends. The guy who I matched with in April and I made plans to see each other on Thursday but I had an interview for a hospital so we didn't meet up. Right after my interview, I texted the guy who I matched with in October that I had an interview in a hospital because we're both nurses. He left me on read for a couple of hours and didn't reply back to me until a couple of hours later. I texted him and he left me on read and never texted me back since then. It's been 2 days. The other day, I saw that he unliked a few of my pictures and ever since he left me on read, he stopped watching all my stories. Does the guy I matched with in October know that I was supposed to see his friend or is his behavior not related to me making plans to see his friend? What should I do? So why did things not progress with October guy? Did he not ask you out? Whats the back story. And you told October guy about other guys who want to date you. If he was interested in you why would he care to know about other people. Also why do you care if he replies or not if you're considering other guys. Its all rather confusing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 It sounds like you pursued this with the intent of getting the attention of the 1 guy through his friend. I see this tactic all the time, its not a good one to use, it just makes you look bad.. Also, the two friends are going to discuss how you are in bed and stuff, they'll probably tell their friends about you.. Yeah, being that chick is just usually not a good idea, I know its thrilling to put yourself in between two guys to see what happens, but at the end of the day, it kinda seems like maybe you need a hobby or something and can meet a guy through whatever hobby you have. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Janc07 Posted June 30, 2020 Author Share Posted June 30, 2020 1 hour ago, notbroken said: It doesn't matter whose 'fault' it was. Many guys don't want to date people their friends have dated. Too much potential for drama. Your allure dropped in his eyes the minute you dated his friend. Right or wrong it just 'is'. I never dated his friend Link to post Share on other sites
Roswell91 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 1 hour ago, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said: It sounds like you pursued this with the intent of getting the attention of the 1 guy through his friend. I see this tactic all the time, its not a good one to use, it just makes you look bad.. Also, the two friends are going to discuss how you are in bed and stuff, they'll probably tell their friends about you.. Yeah, being that chick is just usually not a good idea, I know its thrilling to put yourself in between two guys to see what happens, but at the end of the day, it kinda seems like maybe you need a hobby or something and can meet a guy through whatever hobby you have. Very accurate. Perhaps she enjoys the attention of multiple men. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 The guy got a little butt hurt.....oh well that's on him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 Why would he bother talking with you anymore when you told him you were not interested in seeing him due to Covid then make a date with his friend. Guess you were not worried about Covid with his friend... Obviously you are not interested in October guy so why are you still taking with him? He's your back burner guy I guess, just so you know guys are not interested in that nor being friends with someone they want to date I would say that if they are friends they have talked about you 100% 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 On 6/29/2020 at 1:25 PM, Janc07 said: Another guy who i went on a date with asked if i wanted to go out with him when covid was still kind of bad in May. I was debating if i should meet up with him. I was asking my friends including the guy from Oct if i should go out with the guy and break quarantine. The guy from Oct said no Stop asking these guys what you should do. You are revealing too much. Surely you know if you want to go out with someone or not. Never put your life in jeopardy just to meet some man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Janc07 Posted July 1, 2020 Author Share Posted July 1, 2020 14 minutes ago, Juha said:Lol Why would he bother talking with you anymore when you told him you were not interested in seeing him due to Covid then make a date with his friend. Guess you were not worried about Covid with his friend... Obviously you are not interested in October guy so why are you still taking with him? He's your back burner guy I guess, just so you know guys are not interested in that nor being friends with someone they want to date I would say that if they are friends they have talked about you 100% Can you please re-read what i said? I said to him “i dont wanna see a guy during quarantine”. This was before NYC even went into phase 1 when the pandemic was still bad. I never said “i dont wanna see you” 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 OP, can you clarify - why did you and the first guy never meet up? There were several months between October and quarantine, so I’m curious why it didn’t happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Janc07 Posted July 1, 2020 Author Share Posted July 1, 2020 25 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: OP, can you clarify - why did you and the first guy never meet up? There were several months between October and quarantine, so I’m curious why it didn’t happen. I had to take an exam and i didnt wanna go meet any guys while i was studying for it Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 Chalk it up to one of those things that wasn't meant to be. Link to post Share on other sites
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