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Is my co worker just friendly?


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I just started working at a new company in August. I have a co-worker, who isn't a boss or a supervisor, and he just started a week or so before me.

 

We haven't spoken a ton - just hello in the halls really. But we temporarily were seated near each other. It was very busy when I first started and now it has calmed down a bit. Anyways- last week I saw him in the elevator and he told me he liked my skirt. (It wasn't a short skirt or anything and I have heard him compliment his friend, another co-worker's hair before).

 

We have a seating area in our office where there are tables and people sit and eat, and I was walking by, but I didn't look up, and I heard someone call my name. When I looked up I didn't see who it was and I looked around and I saw him sitting by the tables waving his arms he goes "hey!" So I said hi and then I went back to my desk.

 

The next day he was visiting the desk of the girl who sits behind me. He walked by my cubicle and we caught eyes and he walks into my cubicle and put's his hand up and high fives me. He tells me that he wanted to say good night because they were all leaving. He remembers that I'm leaving later.

 

Then he tells me he forgot to tell me that he finished watching a particular show. (I don't remember us discussing this) and he said when we spoke about it like a month agao he hadn't seen it. Anyways it was mostly small talk.

 

But this week - he hasn't said a word. He is normally very chatty with everyone and he isn't talking to anyone really. It's super busy in our office and can be stressful. But do you think this guy is just a friendly guy who is trying to talk to his co-workers?

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He is an extrovert and friendly with it.

Compliments people and visits girls at their desk.

Sounds like a happy Chappy to me.

Why do you ask?

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I had my first chai latte yesterday- I found the first few sips good but then it got overbearing as I continued,

 

 

my friend said to me the other day she wore a slightly revealing outfit at work, to test what comments, if any, she received.

 

apparently the men were giving her shy glances and making awkward comments and flirty smiles all day,

 

conclusion that men are visual creatures,

 

dress to show off your radiance and beauty, let your hair flow down, and see will his attention be sparked.

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Why would your friend decide to wear a slightly revealing outfit to work? just to prove a point??

The shy glances and awkward comments were not because they suddenly became attracted to her but that it was inappropriate work wear! Same as if a guy turned up to work wearing tight clothing showing his physique.

 

The op didn’t actually say she was interested in this guy.

 

Yet you are suggesting she dresses to impress him?? So you are ultimately saying that guys are only interested in the physical?? ( I mean I agree that superficial men are) And that if she hasn’t sparked his interest via chat then she needs to shorten her skirt??? Or let her hair down?

 

Wow!!

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Foxhall, your friend is an idiot and just undermined any credibility she had at work by dressing like a tart.

 

Well done that girl!!!

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Chailatte.

Maybe he got told off for chatting and visiting girls in cubicles, maybe someone complained... or maybe his work load got increased and he doesn't now have time for chit chat... or he has mood swings... or he has troubles at home... who knows?

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I just started working at a new company in August. I have a co-worker, who isn't a boss or a supervisor, and he just started a week or so before me.

 

People naturally sort themselves out into groups when in a new environment. You are both new employees and he saw that as a common bond which made him more open to you.

 

Since you did not respond in like manner he got the message.

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Since you did not respond in like manner he got the message.

 

That may have been true if the OP was the only one he is no longer chatting to...

He is normally very chatty with everyone and he isn't talking to anyone really..

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That may have been true if the OP was the only one he is no longer chatting to...

 

Yes, that does follow but for some reason the OP felt that it was significant in regard to herself. If he wasn't talking to anyone, why mention he was not talking to her?

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He is an extrovert and friendly with it.

Compliments people and visits girls at their desk.

Sounds like a happy Chappy to me.

Why do you ask?

 

I was curious if he was just a friendly guy or if he was possibly interested.

 

my friend said to me the other day she wore a slightly revealing outfit at work, to test what comments, if any, she received.

 

apparently the men were giving her shy glances and making awkward comments and flirty smiles all day,

 

conclusion that men are visual creatures,

 

dress to show off your radiance and beauty, let your hair flow down, and see will his attention be sparked.

 

:laugh:

 

Why are you asking— do you like him?

 

I don't know him enough. But he's cute.

 

Yeah, for realz. Maybe she likes him too, intrigued by him even.

 

Yes, I was curious about his actions.

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But this week - he hasn't said a word. He is normally very chatty with everyone and he isn't talking to anyone really. It's super busy in our office and can be stressful. But do you think this guy is just a friendly guy who is trying to talk to his co-workers?

 

He seems to be friendly to all of he’s co-worker. It’s also possible that he wants to get to know you better hence that he talked about a show he watched.

 

Try sitting next to him at the break or speak more to him just to see how far it goes.

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Why you didn't ask him about his marital status?) I mean you can ask him some kind of private question, for example: Do you have a girlfriend? After that, you could make some conclusions about how serious his feelings can be.

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He isn't married. And he just broke up with his girlfriend last month.

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I was curious if he was just a friendly guy or if he was possibly interested.

 

Honestly, it doesn't sound like he is romantically interested. He's just a friendly guy.

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He's looking for a GF, so he's chatting the various work ladies up in case something pans out? Seeing who may be interested?

 

Since work relationships can lead to major problems (although plenty of people seem to have them anyway), suggest you approach this with caution.

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Has he started chatting to you again?

 

No, he hasn't. I already knew that information about him. He stopped saying hello to me for a couple of weeks now.

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  • 1 month later...
ThrowAway1970

Men will only go out of their way to speak to a woman if they are attracted on some level.  He sounds smart because he is learning about you before revealing his intention.  Sizing up the situation before taking a risk.  Rejection is hard on a guy, so we minimize the risk by taking it slow.  He will stop if you don't provide a signal of receptance.  Mention a boyfriend or demonstrate attraction for another and he will go cold on you.

Edited by ThrowAway1970
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