jamiepark Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 We were going out to eat. He made me give him a bj in the parking lot before we went in. And he told me to hold his sperm in his mouth until we went in and to swallow in right before I ordered. This was like 15 minutes! He knows I hate the taste of sperm. I had so much saliva build up it made it taste a lot worse, normally I would have not be able to but the waiter was looking at me so there was no way I was going to spit it up in front of him. I had to swallow twice to get it all down. I gagged really bad and I think the waiter knew what I was doing. I felt so degraded over this I wanted to cry, I couldn't look my waiter in the eye after that. I want to make my boyfriend happy so I try to always do whatever he wants. But I hated this so much and he is demanding I do it again. I don't want to lose him. Can someone tell me how to convince him not to make me do it? Or does anyone know how I could make it easier to swallow next time? Please help Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 I hope this post isn't real! Honey this is ABUSE!!!!!!!!! Please, for the love of God break up with him and get some yourself some counseling so you can understand why you allowed yourself to be abuse like this - and so you can avoid becoming a victim again. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Might as well be asking for tips on how not to get so hurt when he throws you down the stairs, or how to cover up black eyes easier. Please get some help. Tell a loved one that you are being abused so that they can help you get away. This is not okay. The way he is treating you is not okay. So not allow him to treat you like this, and LEAVE!!! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jamiepark Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 He isn't abusive. I love him and want to make him feel good. And I posted this on reddit but they deleted it because they didn't think it was real either. I really need some advice, I hope it doesn't get blocked here Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Nah, he's abusive. Personally, I would have laughed and told him to F off. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Even if you don't feel it's abuse, its still not fair to you. Why oh why would you voluntarily do something you don't enjoy that makes you physically uncomfortable just to please another person? You may think you love him but a guy who truly loved you would want to enhance your comfort & joy, not make you do things you did not want to do & use emotional blackmail to manipulate you into doing them. Drop this jerk. Spend your new free time developing your sense of self esteem & self confidence . When you have those, you will learn what real love looks like & it's not this. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Please break up with him. You might think "he is not abusive," but this act IS abusive and wrong. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 You may think you love him.... BUT HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. People in love dont say "do this humiliating sex act, for my pleasure or I will dump you" What he is doing is about control. About manipulating you. About degrading you. Callus to your needs or feelings. And you are wrong, it IS ABUSE. Look I am pretty open minded sexually, and I would NEVER do what your boy friend "made" you do. Never! And how about this, no one should ever be MAKING you do anything you do not want to do sexually. NEVER. Please get some help. This is not normal. This is not love. This is abuse and manipulation. Don't love somene who treats you so poorly. You deserve better. You need to learn you deserve better and to never accept this kind of treatment. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 He isn't abusive. Then WHY did you post this in the "Abuse" section on this site? Why didn't you post it the normal "Dating" section? You yourself said, you felt degraded. That's what abuse is. Subconsciously you must know this is abuse. He MADE you do this? So, if you said 'no', what would he do? People in love don't force others to do things for them. If this isn't abuse, what do you think abuse is? I love him and want to make him feel good. If he orders you to strip down naked in public to make him feel good, would you do that also? Where do YOU draw the line? And I posted this on reddit but they deleted it because they didn't think it was real either. I really need some advice, I hope it doesn't get blocked here Doesn't that tell you something? What you describe here is SO extremely wrong that so many people don't even consider this to be real--that's how abusive it is. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Time to Google the definition of abuse. Because this whole-heartedly IS. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Then WHY did you post this in the "Abuse" section on this site? Why didn't you post it the normal "Dating" section? It was in originally in "General Relationship" and the Mods moved it here. And rightly so, I might add... Mr. Lucky 8 Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 It was in originally in "General Relationship" and the Mods moved it here. And rightly so, I might add... Mr. Lucky Lucky, thank you for the info. I didn't know it. OP, my apology. Please strike that particular comment in my original post. Link to post Share on other sites
Lostweekend Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 Girl... DUMP HIM!! Trust me, he is abusive. You don´t make demands like that and you don´t make threats. DUMP DUMP DUMP. Sorry, he sounds like a total plonker!!! If someone makes you do something you aren´t comfortable with and they disrespect your boundaries, it´s definitely abuse! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
loveflower Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 What the heck is this? I thought slavery has been abolished long time ago. Everyone, save your breath to try to help OP. She is helpless. You get what you think you are worth and what you allowed. my favorite quote of all time: "you can't win what you can't lose". She will never win long as she believe she can't lose him. Even I despite OP. What kind of person will allow another person to do such a thing to her in a free society?!?! I am so angry... It is so inhumane and degrading. your bf is a narcissistic pervert!and you are a slave who has 0 self-esteem! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 He isn't abusive. I love him and want to make him feel good. And I posted this on reddit but they deleted it because they didn't think it was real either. I really need some advice, I hope it doesn't get blocked here Yeah, it's abuse...AND you know it, as you already admitted it, in your opening post: We were going out to eat. He made me give him a bj in the parking lot before we went in. And he told me to hold his sperm in his mouth until we went in and to swallow in right before I ordered. This was like 15 minutes! He knows I hate the taste of sperm. I had so much saliva build up it made it taste a lot worse, normally I would have not be able to but the waiter was looking at me so there was no way I was going to spit it up in front of him. I had to swallow twice to get it all down. I gagged really bad and I think the waiter knew what I was doing. I felt so degraded over this I wanted to cry, I couldn't look my waiter in the eye after that. I want to make my boyfriend happy so I try to always do whatever he wants. But I hated this so much and he is demanding I do it again. I don't want to lose him. Can someone tell me how to convince him not to make me do it? Or does anyone know how I could make it easier to swallow next time? Please help As to your last two questions: the answer to your first question is stop asking the second question. If you can't metaphorically do that, then literally dump his sorry a**...and the sperm-producing pr*ck attached to it. Best of luck to you, OP... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinohio Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 If that is something that you don't want to do, don't do it. Plain and simple. I like to make my BF happy too, but I'll be damned if I have to feel degraded to achieve that. Let him get mad. Life would be so perfect if everyone just did what we wanted them to do all the time but unfortunately it doesn't work like that. If he cares about you he'll get over it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 He isn't abusive. I love him and want to make him feel good. And I posted this on reddit but they deleted it because they didn't think it was real either. I really need some advice, I hope it doesn't get blocked here In my best Adam Carolla voice: "Just break-up with him... he's an A-hole" (and just turn left against red turn-arrows...) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 (edited) He isn't abusive. I love him and want to make him feel good. And I posted this on reddit but they deleted it because they didn't think it was real either. I really need some advice, I hope it doesn't get blocked here The fact that people are so appalled by your post, that they find it hard to believe, and that it has gotten blocked, should tell you everything. Yet you remain clueless. Your bf is a full-fledged jerk and I can't fathom why you would've agreed to doing that even once, and why you didn't tell him to jump off a cliff the minute he suggested it. I have met some controlling and ignorant men in my life but this guy completely takes the cake! It's very sad that you have so little self-respect and that you don't even understand how wrong this is on SO many levels. I pray that you get help very soon. This position you take of being overly naive and clueless is going to do nothing but wreck your life until you draw your last breath. This is the path you're on. Please do yourself a huge favor and realize that your choices aren't cute, charming, or endearing. They're simply life-destroying and only you can change that. Your first step in that direction is to stop defending this nutcase you're with. Everyone here understands wanting to please the person they're with, and to make them feel good sexually and in other ways. But no one in their right mind would tell you that your bf's behavior is ok. And not only is it not ok, it's extremely troubling and suggests some very psychopathic tendencies. These are the type of guys that women marry only to find out later that he's a serial killer or child molester. In a nutshell, your bf is screwed up beyond repair and if you were smart and felt an ounce of self-preservation, you'd run from this relationship. Edited February 19, 2016 by bathtub-row 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jamiepark Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 (edited) Ive read everyones replies and thanks for the support. But they are other reasons why I can't break up with him. Can someone just give me ideas on how to talk him out of this? He says we have to do it again this weekend. I'm so worried, we haven't had sex sense monday. He says he is "saving up to give me a good one". I'm afraid it will be even worse this time. Or if I have to can someone give me tips on how to swallow it easier? Ive read tips online but they all just say swallow quickly, and obviously that doesn't help me any Edited February 19, 2016 by jamiepark Link to post Share on other sites
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