Female Violence Against Men

[HendersonX]

Female War Against Men

 

It seems that a war has been declared against men.

 

On tv and in shows and commercials, female violence against men seems to be the okay thing to do. Women that are abusing men are seen as 'empowered.' That's just not right. There is a bill saying that violence against women is wrong.

 

What about when women are abusing men ? What then ? No one says anything. There are no shelters for battered men. There are no programs. A battered man is all alone in the night. His wife or girlfriend may abuse him but no one cares. There's no help available.

 

The Media thinks men are filth and women are their victims. [i strongly believe] that's bogus.

 

Women are capable of violence just like men are. Men get punished for their crimes. Judges [seem to] let female criminals go. That's not right.

 

Female on Male violence is an unnoticed epidemic across the western world.

 

If you are a MAN and you are being abused by a female, there is hope. Seek out help. Dont stay in an abusive relationship. Your LIFE is at stake. She might KILL you someday. She [is more likely to get] away with it because she [may] lie and say that YOU attacked her and that she is YOUR victim.

 

Seek help. Get involved. No one will solve your problem for you and it's not going away.

 

Speak up, men !!!

 

[What are your thoughts and opinions on this?]

 

------------

Note from moderator: Threads from non-members are screened before they are posted. I saw this and think that it definitely is something that merits some discussion and thought. I edited some of it to comply with our guidelines. My edits are in brackets. HendersonX also provided some links, but I deleted those until I have had time to review the sites to make sure they also comply with our guidelines for posting. If they are in compliance, I will post the links. ~Beth

[Beth]

http://www.safe4all.org/

 

http://www.itdoeshappen.org/

 

http://www.batteredmenshelpline.org/

 

You can also search for battered men help sites on .com and .org

[johan]

I don't now and have never before been aware of any man I've known being abused by a woman. I'm sure that this is a very immediate problem in some families/relationships, but it isn't for society in general. Maybe men don't speak up or maybe it just doesn't happen that often. I have always assumed the latter. Of course that doesn't mean that society should overlook it. I do believe that domestic violence laws should be applied regardless of the offender. Man vs woman or child, woman against man or child, and child against parent.

 

Female War Against Men

 

It seems that a war has been declared against men.

 

On tv and in shows and commercials, female violence against men seems to be the okay thing to do.

 

What war? What have you seen on tv? If you can't back these assertions up, I'll have to say that your entire argument will be discounted.

[moimeme]

Johan - that you haven't heard of it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. In fact there was a discussion about it recently, started by a post by a man who had been a victim himself.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?postid=317623#post317623

[johan]

Thanks, Moi. I did follow that thread for a short while.

 

I'm not arguing it doesn't exist. Just that presenting it as a female war against men seems kind of extreme. In fact, I'm wondering if HendersonX is just George's nom de plume, and Laura's been getting out of hand? Those are his tactics.

 

Maybe there are some one on one battles. Maybe there are too many. But it's not a war. At least I hope it isn't, because things are going well for me and my girlfriend again, and I don't want to find out she's a double agent.

 

I'll quote myself:

I do believe that domestic violence laws should be applied regardless of the offender. Man vs woman or child, woman against man or child, and child against parent.

I think that was rather well stated, and it will be my stance for the duration of this discussion.

[moimeme]

I agree that there's no war - that's a tad extreme. But I do get tired of the Everybody Loves Raymond-type guy bashing that happens.

[johan]

Don't blame Raymond. He's an idiot.

[aFighter]

His living with her and they have a son. One night at the pub [bar] she was well on in drink and she starts a fight with my bro in the middle of the place, she started accusing him of sleeping around and never giving her the time of day or anything & everyone knows this is bull. So on it goes and in the heel of the hunt she grabs him by the throat, digging her nails into his skin and screaming into his face that she hates him and she could be up an gone with HER son in the morning and he'd never find them.

Anyway we broke them up and she just grabbed her coat and left. Now you could see the nail marks on his neck and I asked him what's going on and he starts telling me it's not the first time she's done it. Once, according to him and I believe my brother, she came after him with a poker and another time with an actual knife. I was like "wtf bro get the hell out of there" and he was close to crying telling me that his son is everything and how can he leave etc.

 

That made my blood boil and ever since that night I've been working on the QT to get my bro out of there. I even spoke to a solicitor friend of mine and she said that unless his gf was proven to be an unfit mother that it is a 99% chance she'll get custody.

I can'y imagine my nephew growing up where her family live, they're disgusting people.

[LucreziaBorgia]

It happens, but you don't hear about it because rarely will a man want to admit that he is a victim in that way. Its unfortunate, because nearly always - if there is physical abuse, you can bet the bank that the woman is putting him through severe emotional and verbal abuse as well. Men are also well aware that if they fight back, the punishment will be severe. I've personally known two guys in abusive relationships.

 

With the first guy, his girlfriend would literally punch him in the face, kick him, throw stuff at him - and he knew that there was nothing he could do. She would brag all over town about how she'd "kick his ass" if he "got out of line". She was known as a brawler, thats for sure. Everytime he even hinted that one day he would hit her back, she would laugh at him and remind him that in our state "assault on a female" will land you instantly in jail. So, it continued for a while and eventually he got away from her. In fact, he got away from her - with me. I just waited for the day she'd come after me, but she never did. It ended badly with us though, because of all those years he internalized his anger. He'd fly into blind rages - uncontrollably so. I left him, and he moved on to a woman who fortunately helped him get back onto his feet, get counseling, and live a happy life.

 

I think emotional abuse is an equally a horrible form of a abuse a man has to suffer. My husband's best friend is recently divorced from a woman who put him through sheer hell. She'd insult him, she would insult his sexual technique (she'd make him beg for it after long periods of not giving it to him, and then lay there saying "are you done, yet?"), she would make stuff up to get him in trouble. One night they were driving and he was telling her that he was not happy with the situation. So, while they were driving down one of the main roads here, she opened the car door and threatened to throw herself out (threatening suicide and cutting herself up in front of him in public were some of her ways she'd use to control him) - he grabbed her and tried to pull her in, but a cop saw them. He pulled them over and she told the cop that her husband had beat her and tried to throw her out of the car. He got arrested and spent the night in jail. Even when she begged the cops not to take him (she got scared when he actually was arrested) - they said that they would not release him. They let him out the next day though, but the state still pressed charges and she had to go to court and say on the stand that she lied. He got off then. They stayed married for a while. Eventually we helped him get his divorce.

 

They still hang out though. She won't let him go, and his heart isn't strong enough to let her go. He doesn't see her romantically - in fact she has a boyfriend and they all hang out together, but every time it appears he is going to date again - she'll suddenly "need" him again. One time, he actually went on a date - and she begged him to come over because she had decided she loved him. They slept together and when he told her how happy he was, she told him that it was no big deal because she was sleeping with other people too - but she hoped that he would stay friends with her. It continues to this day, unfortunately - because my friend is a hot guy, I mean SMOKING hot, and could get the ladies, but he is so emotionally beat up now that he literally cannot date anymore. Hopefully one day, though.

[Moose]

There are other forms of abuse from women that most men don't even think about. Me included. I never thought of it until Mrs. Moose started reading self help books for happy marriages. She use to manipulate me into doing things, or forced me to make changes like who I hang out with, what jobs I took, even my daily routine was dictated by her. She's freely admitted that she would do these things sometimes without even thinking about it, but most of the time, very deliberatly.

 

Most people have the mindset that men run the world. But when you examine our lives, it's clear that our women usually have the last say in what we do.

 

Unless men put their foot down and remain on guard 24/7, a woman can really get into his mind and manipulate him to do her will.

 

I think this kind of abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse.

[ConfusedInOC]

My sister used to beat up on her husband. He was a big guy and would take it because he didn't believe in hitting women. Thought it was "low class" to hit a woman. Well, of course you know the longer he went without teaching her a lesson, the farther she went.

 

One day, she punched him in the nose...and he started bleeding.

 

That was the last straw. He reached over and slapped the snot out of her.

 

You know what? She never touched him in a violent manner again.

 

My sister used to pound on me (she's 4 years older than me) until I got big enough that she thought better of it. It only took pushing her down into a chair one time for her to get the message.

 

Guys, if a woman is beating on you and you do nothing about, either by leaving them or standing up for yourself, I don't know that any sort of "therapy" is going to help you. Violence against anyone is WRONG (male to female, female to man) and indicates there are serious psychological issues at work here.

[lostgirl26]

I have to agree that there is an unknown problem with women abusing men. The media prefers to make men out to be the bad guys and women the victim. I have some first hand experience with this, I have a condition that makes it hard for me to control my emotions. It is no excuse in any way shape or form, and I have never condoned my behavior. It has never gotten to the extreme that I have really stepped over the line. I am sure there are lots of people and I say people because it obliviously goes both directions that have gotten into a heated arguement with their spouse or SO and they say something that just makes you want to slap the crap out of them. I have never done that but we have gotten into fights where we have either pushed or punched one another, me usually being the instigator because I have a hard time controlling in the moment how I feel. My husband has never hit me but we do get into pushing matches. I don't think I have the capicity to actually injur someone but I have had the thoughts thats for sure. I don't think its fair that just men are portrayed as the abuser, if I seriously hurt my husband I would hope that the cops would take me and not him(not that I would really want to be hauled off), because I would have been the one that did it. My post might not seem very clear but what I am trying to say is that no matter who is involved, you have to know when to take responsibilty for your actions, anything I might have done I have always taken responsibility for.