, I need figuring this out.

[Makie]

A little back story before my questions:

 

Me any my boyfriend of a year(I'm 23 hes 25.) broke up, I moved out. I was devastated. We talked about getting married and having kids.

 

A couple weeks later he tells me he wants to make it work. At which point I am not so willing because I want to figure things out.

 

I soon start talking to people and explore with other guys without telling him. All the while keeping him on board. (I know that's bad )

 

The final week (2 weeks ago) makes me realize I don't want to be with him right now because I want to have fun. And I think I'm completely over him. But I still care about him.

 

A week after no contact he breaks it to tell me about mutual bill we were both on.

 

It was all business until I asked him how he was doing. He said fine. We even made plans to meet up later in the week. Then he asked me if I was dating anybody and I told him I was talking to multiple people and have slept with a couple of them.

 

He was really upset and cancelled the plans to see me. Then he says he doesn't want to hear from me anymore. And thanks me for respecting his decision.

 

Today I get this email from him out of nowhere:

 

 

I humbly write this to the last one of two women I've trusted with ownership of my heart:

 

I give you all of my love.

 

All of my heart.

 

All of my life.

 

In solitude, my harmful actions come to light.

 

Now I have to force myself to stop loving you.

 

It's not easy, believe me.

 

With your hand gladly laying in mine just 2 months ago.

 

My phone rings absent of your number.

 

A number I secretly hope to see every time I look at my phone.

 

All I want to do is to hate you.

 

You think I'm happy.

 

But I still cry.

 

Your face still dancing.

 

Laughter still ringing in my ears.

 

You could have moved on with grace and heart.

 

Instead you opted for heartless.

 

Filling your void with the beat of five men.

 

You say you need someone to love you through the fits you throw.

 

Well I did and still do.

 

For the make up was beautiful.

 

And the love true.

 

With genuine love I carried your purse in public and kissed your self-conscience toes.

 

Loved your family without condition. And still do.

 

What now feels like nothing more than a cavity in my chest.

 

Is my heart that was once as big as this world.

 

Waking up without it is not easy.

 

When you have to force yourself into believing you gave it to the wrong person.

 

All the while.

 

Dreams of our children continue to haunt me.

 

But still I look to find, the beauty in the days I have left.

 

Days absent of that special someone.

 

Nobody will ever understand.

 

The thing that makes me less a man.

 

Is my inability to give up on the things I love.

 

With my hands red from rope burns, I still hold on.

 

For my hope is a relentless beast that only time can kill.

 

Many have thought I was naive, and childish for my behavior in relationships.

 

But proud I stand.

 

For I will never feel regret or shame putting the person I love above everything else.

 

It's one of the few things I've ever believed in.

 

I would call that love true.

 

I didn't realize I had it in me until I met you.

 

So I pack my bags now.

 

Not to run.

 

But to diffuse.

 

To regain what was lost. Within myself.

 

To get back what I have given so willingly.

 

I will no longer hide behind who I am.

 

I will carry on with my head held high.

 

To live with grace, and class.

 

So whenever the time comes.

 

The time I decide to open my heart so that I may love another person again.

 

I will adopt a new hope.

 

Hope that you may find someone that loves you half as much as I did.

 

With the same ability to persevere through the thick and the thicker.

 

But also provide you with everything else I was unable to at this time in my life.

 

What should I make of it? Should I write anything back?

 

I really appreciate any feedback.

[Acrobaticdealer]

Errrrr I think you should be reconsidering ending it with him for a start.

 

That's pure, from the heart love.

 

If you throw that away to go bang a few guys then that's really sad and tou'll probably regret it.

 

There's obviously more to the story but that's what I'm feeling from that poem.

 

It's awesome!

[Makie]

Nobody has ever written anything like that for me.

 

I don't know what to do. I feel like he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I really hurt him.

[Samilia]

I personally don't like it, he broke up and made his own bed when he did so. Now he's sending some kind of a letter taken out of a bad book to make her feel guilty? Bullsh*t.

[Makie]

I personally don't like it, he broke up and made his own bed when he did so. Now he's sending some kind of bad novelty letter to make her feel guuilty? Bullsh*t.

 

He broke up with me to figure things out for himself because he always puts others before anything else. I noticed it throughout the entire relationship.

 

And he even told me he never intended for it to be a real break up. We even hung out every day after. I just gave him space to be able to work on his career.

 

Sadly what I did to him after the break up was way worse than him breaking up with me.

[Sameold]

So you have unfinished business with your ex and use it as an opportunity to see what sex is like with a few men...

 

I'm sorry but the second you do that you nail shut the relationship coffin for good. Even if you get back with him he'll never forget you slept with other men. You'd be best now to just move on. I'm sorry but I'm just being honest.

 

As for the poem, meh. You slept with 2 men after just splitting with him, it's done. Nothing to discuss.

[2muchlove]

As for the poem, meh. You slept with 2 men after just splitting with him, it's done. Nothing to discuss.

 

Makes sense. But what was the point of him writing this then?

Edited July 19, 2012 by 2muchlove
Forgot to quote.

[Sameold]

It's a cry of attention to a degree and a show of how hurt he is.

 

Akin to saying "I gave you everything and you ****ed me over and tore my heart out, well I'm off now and good luck finding a guy half as good as me".

 

He loves what he had with her but he'll never get over this girl spreading her legs after they break up with so much unfinished business. Women don't seem to understand that the moment they get with another guy in most cases any chance of reconciliation dies. I know the OP doesn't want this but let it be a warning to all women who decide to have a rebound to make them feel better.

[2muchlove]

Interesting poem nonetheless.

[Makie]

I didn't include the brief message that would precede the message. It reads:

 

"This is not a poem. Its a line of thoughts, feelings and emotions in sequence. I don't wish for a response for I'm merely putting this out in the atmosphere so it is known.

 

best,

xxxxxx"

 

How would you guys feel if your ex wrote you something like this in its entirety? I am really happy with what I'm doing. But I don't know how I'm supposed to feel after that message.