Jump to content

Why do you like me?


Recommended Posts

  • Author
He sounds very confused when it comes to relationships.

I sound confused? Yet, you don't ever get confused when it comes to relationships?

Link to post
Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell

If a partner doesn't communicate I do, yes.

 

I sound confused? Yet, you don't ever get confused when it comes to relationships?
Link to post
Share on other sites
UpwardForward

Heed all warnings here Joey.

 

I pretty much know these women as one was in our life for a few years.

 

She had already come into the country through her husband, and they separated because it was said she gambled all his money. But she said it was because she didn't get along w the mother-in-law. ha

 

I got to know her and several of her Filipino girlfriends who came into the country under the same circumstances.

 

They seek marriage, and rather married or not they hold the partner hostage to send money to their families and also prop their foot up against your door - to bring their family (and friends) in to live with you.

 

Aside from descending on you to take care of them and their families, they were about partying, gambling, and even cheating on their husbands.

 

Not into working, but if they do: The money they receive is theirs and not to help with living expenses.

 

It's not about you Joey - they will grab anyone who vaguely reaches out to them.

 

It's easy to get on the internet and reach out to these LD relationships, but you just don't get to really know them - and it can waste or ruin your life.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 4 weeks later...
  • Author
JoeyArnold
If a partner doesn't communicate I do, yes.

Who is not communicating?

Link to post
Share on other sites
FredRutherford
It's easy to get on the internet and reach out to these LD relationships, but you just don't get to really know them - and it can waste or ruin your life.

Sound advice.

 

If it sounds too easy, or too good to be true, it probably is...

 

Real relationships take time and investment.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author
JoeyArnold
Real relationships take time and investment.

 

My aunt & uncle married each other around the age of 19. They were dating for several years before that. They had two sons & remain married for around thirty years until my uncle died in 2008 due to cancer. But it makes me wonder about how young people can fall in love at a young age and they can make the relationship work. My aunt and uncle's marriage is part of my inspiration and it is what I am seeking after replicating.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Ohhhh snaps! Nice work heavenorhell! Maybe this is me being a jerk, but I get a little annoyed with posts about some random person they met on the Internet, never met - probably never spoken and call that a long distance relationship and ask for advice. Now I get that there are some exceptions to this - but for the most part, I think the relationship part is missing. Of course you are confused .... You are chatting up a single mom on the other side of the world. Why not back away from facebook, enjoy life and meet someone where you live. Most of us are in ldr's because we four ourselves in that situation. I dont think any of us really sought them out for the fun of it

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
JoeyArnold
Meet someone where you live.

 

You know how much I hate the typical American girl?

Link to post
Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell

Why not look for a non 'typical' American girl then? Or is every American girl exactly the same?! :rolleyes:

 

Generalisations :rolleyes:

 

 

 

You know how much I hate the typical American girl?
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell

It's going to be confusing trying to suss out someone you've never met and barely know, it's not a 'relationship' yet.

 

 

 

I sound confused? Yet, you don't ever get confused when it comes to relationships?
Link to post
Share on other sites
You know how much I hate the typical American girl?

There are a lot of nice girls right here in the U.S., Joey. I know a lot of them. Don't let some worldly American girls to taint your thinking. I think you need to keep your options open and cast your net wide, but I would agree with other posters that you have to be very cautious with people from another country, or any long distance relationship really. You need to get to know someone first hand by spending a lot of time with them, and getting to know them well before making any kind of plans for committing to each other, or even talking about committing to someone. You also need to work on yourself to get your life, your goals and plans in order. A lot of people make the mistake of getting involved in a relationship with someone who is not a good match for them because they want companionship so much, but those kinds of relationships will not work out in the long run if you are too mismatched. Your best bet for meeting someone compatible is through your church or other religious venues, or people who get to know you through the church that might introduce someone to you. You might also want to try Christian dating websites. I know a couple who met through that, and they are happily married now. What you have going for you the most is your heart for God, and your best bet for finding a compatible mate is someone who shares that faith and appreciates that quality in you. Be cautious about people from other countries who talk about marriage or commitment way too early without even meeting you or getting to know you in person.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
FredRutherford

Originally Posted by FredRutherford

Real relationships take time and investment.

My aunt & uncle married each other around the age of 19. They were dating for several years before that. They had two sons & remain married for around thirty years until my uncle died in 2008 due to cancer.

 

But it makes me wonder about how young people can fall in love at a young age and they can make the relationship work.

 

My aunt and uncle's marriage is part of my inspiration and it is what I am seeking after replicating.

Your aunt and uncle's marriage is a good inspiration.

Am sure it wasn't always easy, as living with someone for so long can be challenging, but they hung with it and kept to their vows.

That's a good model for their nieces and nephews and offspring.

 

As churches generally do well with marriage mentoring and classes, have always felt churches should do better with and pay much more attention to the growing group of Christian singles who often find themselves torn in a sex-obsessed world....

 

A couple of single young people that used to attend me and my wife's church have moved onto larger congregations that have more singles.

 

When I was single in my early-mid-20s, the churches I visited seemed all too eager to greet or help married couples -- a state which seemed unattainable to me as women seemed to ignore me -- and felt like I was ignored.

Edited by FredRutherford
problematic vs. challenging...
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
JoeyArnold
There are a lot of nice girls right here in the U.S.

 

you know how many girls I know?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
JoeyArnold
How many?

 

in high school, i was writing encouragement articles for girls

Link to post
Share on other sites
in high school, i was writing encouragement articles for girls

 

LOL... WTF is that supposed to mean?

 

TMichaels

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
I believe that I'm really good at reading people, but what if I'm not as good as I think I am?

 

Then you'll end up wiring money for airline tickets to some guy posting pictures of his sister and her kid from a smoky internet cafe in Manila.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
FredRutherford

Originally Posted by JoeyArnold

you know how many girls I know?

Originally Posted by FredRutherford

How many?

in high school, i was writing encouragement articles for girls

What are "encouragement" letters?

 

It's good you can relate to women and aren't nervous around them as many never-been-in-a-relationship guys in their 20s and 30s are.

 

HS, however, was aeons ago.

The more important questions:

 

How many women do you know now?

AND

...how many of these women do you think might go on a date with you?

 

Time for evaluation.

Sit down and write out all the names of women you think you could ask out.

Put this on a spreadsheet if it helps.

 

Then narrow the list to ones you realistically might have a chance with.

 

Write their pros/cons.

 

This one is of the same faith, this one likes my type of music, films, activities, or came from the same small town, etc.

This other is sexually active, has a child, is shy like me, many would consider her "plain" or doesn't date much (might be receptive to getting asked out).

Then narrow the results

 

Sounds mechanical and routine, but many of us in our lines of work use spreadsheets and analyze business propositions, challenges, etc. The same kind of system might work in relationships.

Edited by FredRutherford
Link to post
Share on other sites
It's good you can relate to women and aren't nervous around them ....

How are you getting to this conclusion from the OP's posts?

 

You know how much I hate the typical American girl?

 

you know how many girls I know?
Link to post
Share on other sites
UpwardForward
You know how much I hate the typical American girl?

 

Oh, Now I know you're in trouble. You're sounding just like my sons. :D

Link to post
Share on other sites
you know how many girls I know?

That's a pretty strong statement and generalization to say you hate American girls. I'm getting the impression you've had a fair share of rejection from them, and some have not been all too nice about it, and you're starting to turn against them as a result. Kind of like some of the men on this board who have become bitter and start to think pursuing women from a different country would have better results. I would suggest, rather than taking that route, that you work on some things that might help your success with women. If you think about it, what attracts women and gets their interest are along the lines of great personality, attractive appearance, interesting/fun hobbies and interests, good conversationalist, good character and values. Maybe there are some things you could improve upon. You sound like your character and values are good ones, but maybe you could work on your personality a bit? Are you upbeat and confident? Are you friendly and engaging to people in general? If not, those are things you can work on. You can update your appearance a bit too. You said you are 27 years old, but from your picture, you look much younger. I would suggest leaving the glasses at home if at all possible, and using them only when you reallly need them, like for driving, reading, etc., or get contact lenses if that is possible. Also, it's time to update the hair style. It's too youthful for your age. Go to a unisex salon and ask the stylist for opinions on what hair style would go well for a 27 year old. You can also work on your sense of humor--that is a quality that draws people to someone. Do you know how some people develop their sense of humor? They read joke books and funny articles. Some even take comedy classes to develop that aspect of themselves that doesn't come naturally to them. Develop your hobbies and interests, and pursue some things that girls would find appealing about you. Develop your conversational skills and read up on a variety of topics so you can hold a woman's interest in that way. You may also want to ask someone you know IRL what you might do differently so that you would have more success with women. That would be my suggestion. And I hope you're working on the job situation. As you get to be in your late twenties, not having a job will be a dealbreaker for a lot of women. Women admire motivation and goals in a guy at that age. So I would suggest you work on things you can do to improve your chances with women, have the confidence to approach them, and have a good attitude when you do. If you've developed the attitude that American women are bad/mean/whatever, then that attitude will come through in some way and not work well for you.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
JoeyArnold
I would suggest leaving the glasses at home.

Do you know how blind I am?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
JoeyArnold
Not having a job will be a dealbreaker for a lot of women.

that is part of why i am so against western society & mentality

Link to post
Share on other sites
Do you know how blind I am?

So you can't manage without the glasses at all, huh? Then you should consider getting contact lenses, but I imagine you'll need a job first off to pay for them. I know a man who was in the dating market recently who had glasses similar to yours. He got contact lenses and it made a lot of difference in his attractiveness level to women. You should consider getting contacts after you get a job.

Link to post
Share on other sites
that is part of why i am so against western society & mentality

That's not really just western society. Most societies value achievement. Eastern societies value achievement and the parents often consider a man's career and earning power as an important consideration in approving a marriage for their daughter. Being able to pay the bills is a fact of life that most people have to deal with regardless of what country you live in. If you're not able to provide for yourself or a family, that's not going to go over too well no matter where you live. But I would agree that some third world countries are not geared towards career and income so much, but you would still have to support yourself and your family no matter where you go.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...