buzzie2 Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 I have an opportunity to date a man that is divorced. He is still young in his late twenties and never had any children. I don't know why he got divorced but I do know that it was several years ago. My question is what are the cons of dating a man who has already experienced marriage and divorce? I have never been married myself so am just curious.
zengirl Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 I have an opportunity to date a man that is divorced. He is still young in his late twenties and never had any children. I don't know why he got divorced but I do know that it was several years ago. My question is what are the cons of dating a man who has already experienced marriage and divorce? I have never been married myself so am just curious. I dated a man who was married and divorced young. It was several years and several relationships later that I met him. It had basically no negative impact on our relationship. He'd been mistreated by that particular wife and other women, so that had some, but the more recent women had more impact. But everyone has that, generally, if they've been mistreated, and most people had. His was not extreme or extraordinary. We all have our little pockets of pain that bubble up from time to time. He's since been re-married to a friend of mine, and they are very happy. Pretty sure it's a marriage that will last. They're perfect for each other. Even when I met him, he wasn't marriage-adverse because of his wife. In fact, he was very much a marriage and serious relationship-minded fellow. He'd gotten married young because he'd been dating a gal for awhile and thought that was just what you did if you'd been dating a long time. He certainly never would've made that mistake again. I think it's the same as anyone---Did they learn from their failures? What did they learn? There's no particular-to-divorce baggage, especially with people who are divorced so young with little consequence. His had hurt his finances more than a bit, but not devastatingly so. And you can always make more money. If someone has major abuse, kids, or gets divorced after a very long time, I suppose there are new variables added in, but really the marriage certificate doesn't necessarily make the emotional ramifications any more intense. Perhaps if there's continued contact or alimony it would.
Crazy Magnet Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 I guess it depends on the relationship and the reasons for divorce. If you have questions about it, just ask him.
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