SteveC80 Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 (edited) Maybe im selfish but i cant fathom spending everyday of your life with the same person,thyeres only so many things u can do and say to a person before you get sick of each other Evne the few relationships i know that worked out after a certain amount of years the passion was gone and the people seem to be going through the motions in apathy,thats just human nature after being with a person for so long and thats not something i want I love my freedom i love the fact that i dont have to make all my decisions with somebody else in mind and get their approval first I can see the world travel all over and not worry about a wife or kids when making my decision and still get my physical needs met by women Id take my life over married life anyday Edited August 20, 2010 by SteveC80
edgeofdarkness Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 i agree the great thing about falling in love is that there was a time before u fell in love where u existed quite happily without it well guess what u can go back to that when its over, the best thing to realise about the greatest love of your life is that u can have as many as u like, and still survive intact, yeah.
zengirl Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Maybe im selfish but i cant fathom spending everyday of your life with the same person,thyeres only so many things u can do and say to a person before you get sick of each other Evne the few relationships i know that worked out after a certain amount of years the passion was gone and the people seem to be going through the motions in apathy,thats just human nature after being with a person for so long and thats not something i want I love my freedom i love the fact that i dont have to make all my decisions with somebody else in mind and get their approval first I can see the world travel all over and not worry about a wife or kids when making my decision and still get my physical needs met by women Id take my life over married life anyday Good. So you shouldn't get married. It is excellent you know this about yourself. I think making it "human nature" ignores the many people who have marriages full of love that last decades. This does happen. I'm not even sure I'd consider it rare. This illustrates a key point----I think the idea that everyone should get married is as flawed as the idea that love and marriage are meaningless or pointless. I think more marriages would work out if people who shouldn't be married would stop getting married. Is there any one system that will work for everyone? That seems like a tall order to me.
Cracker Jack Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Love is a great feeling. Haven't been too successful in that area, but I honestly feel that it's something I want to fully experience in my life. That's simply how I feel.
BlackLovely Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 I suppose there is a good question buried in all of that crap! LOL Why do humans fall in love and create exclusive pair bonds ? Even deeper, one that many people don't know or want to admit - why is having children and getting married good when it ultimately makes you less happy ? In the 1950s they tried to encourage marriage by saying that it made you happier, but research now is finding that marriage and children is much less rewarding than what single couples can achieve. PS> What I notice on here is that everyone expels their emotions about things, crap about soul mates, life experiences they've had, and whatever - point being, it's all entirely irrational. If we could only separate the rational from the irrational we would probably make much better choices in life. Perhaps not get married.. dare I say it .. Not all of us can express ourselves as well as you, NY. Very mean to call another poster's words "crap" only because you don't grasp the gist. The bolded stuff is hilariously false. I don't know what research you're looking at, but married couples are generally happier than single people. Look: http://www.psychpage.com/family/library/brwaitgalligher.html. There's more where that came from, kiddo. It's up to you to decide whether to marry or not. I would only caution you against making up anti-marriage statistics, merely to console yourself about being single. Also, what in the world is a "single-couple"? Some kind of relationship centaur? I hope that you're not suggesting that getting married is irrational, just because you can't see the good in it.
Woggle Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Even though I am married I think if I were married to anybody but my wife I would want to run. I see the stuff other married men go through and it makes me cringe. I have friends who live ten to five minutes away that damn start WWIII their wives if they want to go hang out on the boardwalk with me for one night but my single friends from New York who live in another state can come over with ease. Most of my married friends get zero affection from their wives sexual or othewise and are generally treated like nothing more than walking wallets. Why would any sane men actually sign up for this?
TheBigQuestion Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 I haven't read through much of the thread, but to answer the initial question, I think that romantic love is a wonderful and worthy pursuit. As long as you keep somewhere in the back of your head that the person you are in love with may not always feel the same way about you in the distant future, and that you yourself may fall out of live, and that you ACCEPT this as a likelihood, the better off you'll be. It's like having friends; you can have wonderful friends, true friends, that don't necessarily stick with you for life. I've been hurt, I've had women stomp all over me, and even then I've never felt like giving up entirely.
zengirl Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Even though I am married I think if I were married to anybody but my wife I would want to run. I see the stuff other married men go through and it makes me cringe. I have friends who live ten to five minutes away that damn start WWIII their wives if they want to go hang out on the boardwalk with me for one night but my single friends from New York who live in another state can come over with ease. Most of my married friends get zero affection from their wives sexual or othewise and are generally treated like nothing more than walking wallets. Why would any sane men actually sign up for this? It takes two to create a dynamic like that. Ask these men. Perhaps they are not sane. That has nothing to do with "marriage" being bad and everything to do with marriage between those two people being bad. . . Or maybe it really isn't the dynamic you imagine for all you actually know. Honestly, do you know the number of times I've seen a fellow ask his girlfriend to let him blame her or use her as a reason he can't do something he doesn't want to do anyway? Far too many. I dated a fellow who used to do this a bit (not to an extreme where he made me look like a shrew, thankfully), but it really bothered me (because I think if you don't want to do something, you should just assert yourself), so he basically stopped. He still talked him out of going places "on my behalf" when I wouldn't have minded, but it was mostly subconscious. But it happens explicitly too. A lot of women allow men to do this, and a lot of fellows do this. I find it preposterous, as many of the things people do, but it is just one possibility. (Women do this too, but we do it slightly differently, on average.)
Woggle Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Maybe this is the case but I have heard my friend's wives on the other end screaming if they wanted to go do something after work. I also know that my boss is pretty much a walking wallet. They have a house in a gated community that they can't afford because she saw it and liked even though they had beachfront property which to me and him was so much nicer. Now they live in some soulless suburb. She also stomps her feet and jumps up and down like a child when she sees something she wants but he won't buy it but she refuses to work and acts like even kissing him is a chore. A nice he has isn't it?
SteveC80 Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Even though I am married I think if I were married to anybody but my wife I would want to run. I see the stuff other married men go through and it makes me cringe. I have friends who live ten to five minutes away that damn start WWIII their wives if they want to go hang out on the boardwalk with me for one night but my single friends from New York who live in another state can come over with ease. Most of my married friends get zero affection from their wives sexual or othewise and are generally treated like nothing more than walking wallets. Why would any sane men actually sign up for this? Yeah i have the same thing.One of my married friends wives actually hates me because she felt i was trying to take her husband away from her because id ask him to hang out maybe once a month,women are way too territorial and needy espeically in marriage Oh and the sex forget about it,a few years into marriage and its over from what my friends say
Hopeful30 Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 It's not pointless, but its so uncommon nowadays that most of us have just given up on it. If we only have sex when we are in love, most of us would have had sex only a few times in our lives. Without casual sex we would die of horniness!
Hopeful30 Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 But that's the beauty of love. It isn't logical or practical. It isn't about numbers or status or orgasms or any of that stuff. It's about that feeling that you get when you think about that special someone. It's about thinking "I know she may not be the greatest person in the world, but she's the greatest person in my world." For all the problems it causes, I still feel that the butterflies are worth it. Wow, and I thought men were cold and mean when it came to relationship problems with women. I all of a sudden have hope
Woggle Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Yeah i have the same thing.One of my married friends wives actually hates me because she felt i was trying to take her husband away from her because id ask him to hang out maybe once a month,women are way too territorial and needy espeically in marriage Oh and the sex forget about it,a few years into marriage and its over from what my friends say I know some women that get like that even after divorce. It's like they can't stand not having control over a guy. My wife has no issue with any of my friends except for one who no longer is a friend and for very good reasons but some other women I know can't stand to see their husband have his own interests.
AverageJoe Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Oh and the sex forget about it,a few years into marriage and its over from what my friends say Ever heard of the nickle theory? When you are in a relationship prior to marriage, you put a nickle in a jar for each time you get a bj. After you get married you remove a nickle from the jar for each time you get a bj. You will never empty the jar.
JohnnyBlaze Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Wow, and I thought men were cold and mean when it came to relationship problems with women. I all of a sudden have hope To see me, you probably wouldn't take me for the kind of person I am. There are others like me out there, but we're not necessarily what you think you're looking for. Good guys don't always wear white!
AverageJoe Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Nope, they just wave white. Usually on a stick.
InceptorsRule Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 Is there a point in falling in love? Yes this is what keeps the man around after he's finished ejaculating.
InceptorsRule Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 Ever heard of the nickle theory? When you are in a relationship prior to marriage, you put a nickle in a jar for each time you get a bj. After you get married you remove a nickle from the jar for each time you get a bj. You will never empty the jar. Yeah but 25 cents doesn't buy much nowadays anyways.
AverageJoe Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 Yeah but 25 cents doesn't buy much nowadays anyways. Damn man, just five?
InceptorsRule Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 Damn man, just five? If we're only counting the times she swallowed it's more like a dime's worth.
Author Mangomonkey Posted August 21, 2010 Author Posted August 21, 2010 Well i know i may be going backwards in this but just humor me. Sex doesnt matter for love right? Well let me ask this For guys. If your GF you loved just decided to stop having any kind of sex but only wanted an emotional bond for years and years for no reason but just to bond. Would you stay with her? AND be faithful? For women. Would you marry a guy with no penis?
InceptorsRule Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 For women. Would you marry a guy with no penis? I can see you've never been married. Typically, the wife likes to remove the penis after the marriage takes place.
Author Mangomonkey Posted August 21, 2010 Author Posted August 21, 2010 the fact that i think your serious is the laugh of my day
AverageJoe Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 (edited) Sex doesnt matter for love right? Well let me ask this For guys. If your GF you loved just decided to stop having any kind of sex but only wanted an emotional bond for years and years for no reason but just to bond. Would you stay with her? AND be faithful? If, I were in a relationship, which I have no desire for. Well. Let me put it like this. If I were really hungary and I went home, looked in the fridge and there were no food in there. What would you expect me to do? Im going out to get something to eat, and its possible I may find something when I go out, better than what might have been in the fridge. Edited August 21, 2010 by AverageJoe
InceptorsRule Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 the fact that i think your serious is the laugh of my day I'm dead serious.
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