Trust Issues After Ex?

[FearandLoathing]

Hey everyone,

 

So, I'm having a little bit of an issue it seems and I'm hoping I can get some sort of answer or maybe advice. It's been almost a year since everything in my life went to complete sh*t - I lost my job, boyfriend, home, and left school. Now, I've completely picked myself up and have everything back that I lost...almost.

 

I am over my ex, I don't have feelings for him at all anymore and I believe that I am over him. I have my sights on someone new and have good reason to believe that he's interested in me too - we're going on a date on Saturday

 

The problem is that, at the end of my last relationship my ex treated me very badly. He constantly lied and used me and broke me down into a crazy, anxious mess where I was second guessing everything and constantly worrying. I notice that now, with this new guy I'm feeling a little bit of that again... I have NO reason not to trust him, and I've known him for years so I know that he is a GREAT guy. I'm just used to second guessing everything and it's very frustrating that I can't seem to just trust him.

 

Basically I'm just wondering if this means that I'm not ready for a relationship/new guy, or if it's just something you have to kind of let go and rebuild, or if there's something I can do to get past that feeling?

 

Your opinions would be greatly appreciated because I am very confused

[edgeofdarkness]

if he is very similar to your ex, then maybe you not trusting him is natural. if he is nothing like your ex then not trusting him is your problem. maybe u need to tell him about your issues and get his input. if u cant trust someone, your already sabotaging the relationship. you need to let it go. trust yourself to trust him.

[FearandLoathing]

Yeah, he's not like him at all which is great but it's annoying to feel this way He knows my ex and absolutely hates him for what he did to me so I guess it's true that it's just my problem I need to get over.

 

Thank you!