Stockalone Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 I am sorry. What an ahole, try to get that free consultation if your school offers it. Otherwise, I'd consider Green's idea. Your ex shouldn't be able to get away with this. I NEED this money. Like it will screw up my credit if I don't get it from him. Can't you ask your family for the money (as a loan)? It's not like you bought fancy clothes or went on vacation with money you didn't have. You needed the money for an emergency. If they don't know yet and in case you don't want to tell them about the abortion, you could just tell them you needed to have something checked out, but there is no need to worry because everything is okay now. If you get the money from your ex, you can pay them back and if not, you can give them what you can, when you can. Granted, asking your folks doesn't sound like an ideal idea, but I'd rather opt for that compared to having bad credit and the problems that can cause.
Jilly Bean Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 BTW, I've considered stopping by his place of work, not going into the office, but intercepting him when he leaves the building. I think I'll try to confront him in person with the printed out ims. Restraining order be damned. He doesn't have anything on me. First off, I think you're using this money issue as an excuse to continue contacting him. I mean, you've been broken up for what, 6 months? And you had the abortion when, a year ago? Why NOW is this an issue? Why didn't you get the money earlier? I just think it's an excuse. He won't be responding to your emails, as I'm sure he's blocked you. If you truly just want your money back, then sue him in small claims court. If you have IM records that he agreed to pay, then that's sufficient for you to win your case. Bring all of those, in addition to the medical records and bills, and you're done. BUT, if this is just an excuse, which I believe it is, then you won't do that, and will, instead, continue to try and see him in person, even though he was asked you to leave him alone. Have some pride and self-respect, Shadow. Stop trying to see him or contact him. And anyone can walk into the local PD and get a restraining order. Technically, if you tell someone repeatedly to leave you alone, which he has, and they persist (as you have) then it's considered stalking. File in small claims, get your money, and be done with him.
Ilovecake Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Messing with his work is the worst thing you can do. He is humiliates, sues you for harassment, defamation and loss of wages, you have to pay his court costs, any wages he lost going to court and yo have a retrainging order on your record. You still don't have your $1000 and now you owe a few thousand on top of the money you're already out. I can’t believe people would even suggest that. Cut your losses and move on.
Ilovecake Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 First off, I think you're using this money issue as an excuse to continue contacting him. I mean, you've been broken up for what, 6 months? And you had the abortion when, a year ago? Why NOW is this an issue? Why didn't you get the money earlier? I just think it's an excuse. I was thinking the same thing.
NYCmitch25 Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 We had an agreement, prior to him suddenly cutting off contact with me and changing his number so I couldn't reach him. This is money from the abortion related costs, that we agreed to split. He was supposed to pay me back some time in the next few weeks. We had discussed this many times. When he cut off contact I sent him an email reminding him about the money to which he never responded. Now what the heck am I supposed to do? He doesn't even know my address because it will be changing in a couple of weeks, and I don't know what it is either. I have no way of reaching him. For all I know he's filtering my emails and sending them to his trash. I'm sure he deleted my number as well. I've always been extremely responsible about paying him back on the rare occasions that he had to cover me for a meal or whatever because I didn't have cash/card on me. I also spotted him a bunch of times. I NEED this money. Like it will screw up my credit if I don't get it from him. Ugh, I hate him. He's such a low life. I have this awful feeling that he's going to not pay me back. Come on, are you just trying to get your post count up here on LS ? OK, you track him down, you can use the computer or whatever to find out where he lives, you file a small claims court case, will cost you 20 dollars, and they will send him a letter or you can do it yourself. OR you can write him a letter telling him this ... I'm sure he doesn't want to go to court and argue over abortion money.
Author shadowplay Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 First off, I think you're using this money issue as an excuse to continue contacting him. I mean, you've been broken up for what, 6 months? And you had the abortion when, a year ago? Why NOW is this an issue? Why didn't you get the money earlier? I just think it's an excuse. He won't be responding to your emails, as I'm sure he's blocked you. If you truly just want your money back, then sue him in small claims court. If you have IM records that he agreed to pay, then that's sufficient for you to win your case. Bring all of those, in addition to the medical records and bills, and you're done. BUT, if this is just an excuse, which I believe it is, then you won't do that, and will, instead, continue to try and see him in person, even though he was asked you to leave him alone. Have some pride and self-respect, Shadow. Stop trying to see him or contact him. And anyone can walk into the local PD and get a restraining order. Technically, if you tell someone repeatedly to leave you alone, which he has, and they persist (as you have) then it's considered stalking. File in small claims, get your money, and be done with him. No, it isn't an excuse, and I'm kind of annoyed that you would suggest that. The money issue came up quite recently because it took forever for the insurance to process it, and I looked on the insurance website to find out how much I had to pay out of pocket. We discussed this many times recently and he told me he would pay me back in a few weeks (he doesn't have the money right now). But I realized after he cut off contact with me that I might never get that money from him, as he didn't even have an address to send it to since I'm moving. That's when I sent him the email. I hardly see how that could be construed as "stalking." I sent it to several addresses, in case he had blocked me from one of them. And this was last week. He still hasn't responded. I'm sure he's checked his email, as he does constantly.
Author shadowplay Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 Totally agree with Jilly. What, that I'm using this as an excuse to bother him?! I find it sickening how callous people on here can be sometimes. I've been on the verge of tears all day about not getting that money back.
carhill Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 This is money from the abortion related costs, that we agreed to split. He was supposed to pay me back some time in the next few weeks. We had discussed this many times. Fugetaboutit. Male mind-f*ck. He never intended to pay a nickel. I'd have given you a check on the spot. That's what a man does. Date men. Sorry for your issues....
Author shadowplay Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 I was thinking the same thing. You guys are too much. Way to kick someone who is down. See my earlier post on this page. I didn't know how much money we'd have to pay out of pocket until recently when the insurance finally went through and I saw the claim on the website.
dispatch3d Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Small Claims Court lol this pretty much summarizes my thoughts on the matter. In canada if he agreed to it VERBALLY then it's a binding legal contract. There may be discrepencies in what was said, thus causing some confusion as to exactly what was agreed upon, but it is still a binding legal agreement. Since you have IM's of him acknowledging he agreed to it I'd be shocked if he won if you took him to court. I would deeeefiiinittely take him to court over a grand, especially if it will screw over your credit+he is being dodgy. I'm not even sure I'd go and threaten to take him to court. You've tried to contact him twice, and you reminded him once already and he's done nothing. Just sue him. If he files for a restraining order then don't you both have to go to court, and you could counter-sue for the 1k? Not a bad deal if that's how it works...
carhill Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Unless you had a contract that he would pay you, you're pretty much SOL. Even in small claims court, with no proof, you'd lose. Yep, this. BTDT, many times. Even with a contract and collecting a judgment, collection can be and often is a b!tch. Anyone who has receivables on Net 30 knows what I'm talking about.
dispatch3d Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Like I really would not **** around at all. I'd go to the courthouse tomorrow, say I want to take THIS GUY to small claims court, what forms do I have to fill out. They'll give you a few forms, you'll fill them out then have to serve him a summons (You can arrange for a friend to drop him off a summons as well). You could have the whole court date set in a couple days. Problem solved no more worrying about that money being returned.
dispatch3d Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Yep, this. BTDT, many times. Even with a contract and collecting a judgment, collection can be and often is a b!tch. Anyone who has receivables on Net 30 knows what I'm talking about. at least you know you'll be getting the money back instead of having it veryvery unlikely to see it ever. It's a grand, not like $100 or $50. Definitely worth going to court over.
zengirl Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Yep, this. BTDT, many times. Even with a contract and collecting a judgment, collection can be and often is a b!tch. Anyone who has receivables on Net 30 knows what I'm talking about. Yeah, this is why I'd go all registered mail and threatening to take someone to court well before actually doing it. It is way easier to scare people into paying you, when they think the court is going to do something about it and cause them pain and heartache, than it actually is to actually collect through the court system. Assuming you win (which isn't sure with some IMs or even a contract that seems solid), once you've won, unless the court agrees to actively collect for you (which usually doesn't happen), the person no longer has any fear or immediate reason to pony up. There is no debtors prison. There are then hoops one has to go through to get the court to actively collect. Has anyone had a positive experience with small claims court?
carhill Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 The OP goes files her suit, goes to court, ex doesn't show up, OP wins by default. Since the ex has to be served, he's aware of the pending suit. Ever hear of blood and turnips? If the OP wins, right, she already won, how does she get her money? Ah, the *collection* process. There are specific procedures to be followed. I'll outline some below, from my jurisdiction: [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=+0][COLOR=#000099]Bank levy[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][sIZE=+0][COLOR=#000099] You can levy execution on the judgment debtor's bank accounts. You file a Writ of Execution (Form SC-10) with and pay the $7.00 fee to the court clerk who issues it. You then give the issued writ and an instruction along with $30.00 fee to the sheriff in whose county the bank is located. On the instruction sheet, you must give the street address of the bank branch where the debtor's account is kept. Some banks accept service of the writ at any of its branches so call the bank and find out.[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=+0][COLOR=#000099]Wage garnishment [/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][sIZE=+0][COLOR=#000099] You can also attach the judgment debtor's wages by following the same procedure as with bank levy. However, you must provide the sheriff with the issued writ, an Application for Earnings Withholding Order (Form SC-118), and $25.00 service fee. You must give the name and address of the debtor's employer. Up to 25% of the debtor's take-home pay may be garnished.[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][sIZE=+0][COLOR=#000099]If the employer is a federal government agency, then you must first file a Motion for an Order Assigning Right of Payment and get a judge's approval. A copy of the motion is available at our clinic.[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=+0][COLOR=#000099]Real property lien [/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][sIZE=+0][COLOR=#000099]You can put a lien on any real property the judgment debtor owns, or may acquire in the future, in a county by submitting an Abstract of Judgment (Form SC-13) and $7.00 filing fee to the court. You then record the issued (stamped) abstract with the County Recorder, whose office for Sacramento county is located at 600 8th Street, Sacramento, California. You should file and record a separate abstract for each county you wish to place a lien against the judgment debtor's properties.[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=+0][COLOR=#000099]Till tap / Keeper [/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][sIZE=+0][COLOR=#000099] If the judgment debtor's business does has lots of cash on the premises, you may send a sheriff out for a till tap or a keeper. A till tap is where a deputy sheriff goes out to the business and collects all cash and cash equivalent in the cash registers or containers on the premises. The fee for this service is $85.00. A keeper is where a deputy sheriff is sent out for a set number of hours to stay at the debtor's business and collect money that comes in. The cost is substantially more and depends on the number of hours the deputy sheriff is directed to stay at the debtor's business premises.[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=+0][COLOR=#000099]Driver's license suspension[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][sIZE=+0][COLOR=#000099] If your case involved a car accident and you got a judgment for $500.00 or less that has not been satisfied in 90 days, then you may file a form DL17, available at any Department of Motor Vehicles office, to suspend the judgment debtor's driver's license for 90 days. If your judgment is for more than $500.00, the suspension may last indefinitely until the defendant pays you. Contact the Department of Motor Vehicles Civil Judgment Unit at (916) 657-7573.[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] People who don't like paying what they own and are aware of judgments against them are far more likely to resist or evade enforcement of the judgment. Who pays for enforcement? LOL, you guessed it. BTW, the till tap is the most fun. Catch them on a good day and everyone gets to watch
dispatch3d Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Yeah, this is why I'd go all registered mail and threatening to take someone to court well before actually doing it. It is way easier to scare people into paying you, when they think the court is going to do something about it and cause them pain and heartache, than it actually is to actually collect through the court system. Assuming you win (which isn't sure with some IMs or even a contract that seems solid), once you've won, unless the court agrees to actively collect for you (which usually doesn't happen), the person no longer has any fear or immediate reason to pony up. There is no debtors prison. There are then hoops one has to go through to get the court to actively collect. Has anyone had a positive experience with small claims court? If I threatened to go to small claims court, I would go to the courtroom, and get the papers to fill out. I would then fill them out to the point where all I had to do was give them to them. I would then approach him and say, pay me 1k in 15 days (or whatever time frame you know he can pay back in) or I am filing these papers. That way he isn't going to take it as some hollow threat. Someone comes up to me with court papers already filled out - yeah they aren't ****ing around.
meerkat stew Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Go to where he is and see if he will sign a promissory note for the amount he owes you. They are standard in form, but don't just pull one off the web, try to find one from a reputable legal forms provider or a software package. If he won't sign, then you know for certain that he has no intention of paying, and can proceed from there. I sometimes get crosswise with your posts here (as many folks do with mine ), but see nothing other than a desire to get the money due you in your OP here and disagree with others who think you are stalking him.
zengirl Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 If I threatened to go to small claims court, I would go to the courtroom, and get the papers to fill out. I would then fill them out to the point where all I had to do was give them to them. I would then approach him and say, pay me 1k in 15 days (or whatever time frame you know he can pay back in) or I am filing these papers. That way he isn't going to take it as some hollow threat. Someone comes up to me with court papers already filled out - yeah they aren't ****ing around. How many large debts have you successfully collected on?
carhill Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Has anyone had a positive experience with small claims court? Yes. It's the collection that is the problem, IME. All my suits have been between 1K and 3K, mainly for uncollectable receivables.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 What, that I'm using this as an excuse to bother him?! I find it sickening how callous people on here can be sometimes. I've been on the verge of tears all day about not getting that money back. That's not what I meant, and I don't think it's what anyone said. I think you still feel dejected; you are obviously and understandably upset that not only did this loser bail on you as he did, he's also failing to honor his final promise to you; and confronting him in person is your attempt to reclaim something from him that you will never get. But this is a waste of your time and energy, and will only yield you more pain. The most you are going to get from this slimeball is money, and you'll be lucky to get that. I also think zengirl makes a good point. I did take someone to small claims court once, and in spite of the fact that I had concrete video proof of the infractions (hours of it), the judge dismissed the case (I think because the defendant was an attorney and probably a friend of his). I think the best route is to get a little bitchy and threatening. He deserves it. It might not do any good, but it's worth a shot. If nothing else, he deserves to be called out for being such a colossal worm of a person.
dispatch3d Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Sounds to me like the court system does direct deposit (lol) or public humiliation (garnished from work wages). Yeah having my wages garnished because of an abortion cost I skipped out on. Totally the type of thing I would want my employer to know about. It'd be awesome to give him a sheet telling him how he's going to have to pay it back as well.
dispatch3d Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Yes. It's the collection that is the problem, IME. All my suits have been between 1K and 3K, mainly for uncollectable receivables. Sounds like you do a lot of these. I'd assume it's through work? Which would mean collections will be more of a pain than normal? Wouldn't garnished wages be the easiest? That way she wouldn't have to continually go into his account and dump the money back to her. She'd have a gaurenteed amount she's getting each week..?
carhill Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Cr@p, I'm an idiot. Call Judge Judy! Perfect! Sounds like you do a lot of these. I'd assume it's through work? Which would mean collections will be more of a pain than normal? I'm the owner. Yes, collections are a pain. So are receivables. I've done under 10 in my 25 years in business. I've lost a few too, due to allegations of improper warranty, shoddy workmanship, or other mitigative issues.
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