Not Feeling So Great..

[mirage12]

Hello all,

 

I've recently had a pretty "traumatic" experience with a breakup. I'm 23 years old and recently moved to a new city. I had been dating a girl for the past 8 months. Both of us had gone to the same college and we dated during our senior year. Things worked out right, as both of us were going to grad school, and we both ended up at different schools in the LA region. We did long distance for a little while, and then I moved down to the area, when everything went sour. Within 2 weeks after I had moved, we kind of fell apart, were fighting (about nothing??) and ended up breaking up. It's been especially hard for me because while this wasn't my first girlfriend, this was definitely what I'd consider first love for me. It's been about a month now and I'm still really messed up. I know almost no one down here (except for her) and am about to start law school (which will be very hard/time consuming). We ended on good terms, and have tried to talk every once in a while, but even though I want to continue talking, it brings up a flood of emotions that is driving me crazy. I think about her all the time still, and don't know what to do. I'll meet girls through law school (but everyone there is super busy/I don't really want to date a lawyer) and I've already noticed how hard it is to meet people in LA, not even just girls. I've even considered trying out some online dating stuff just to find someone new to get over her. What can I do/how do I get her out of my head?

[AverageJoe]

At 23 you shouldnt even be in a relationship. This should be the last thing on your mind. Focus on your degree, establish yourself a career and get your practice underway.

 

Get out of the house and go meet new people, go on dates and have fun. By no means get yourself in a position where a girl will kill your career ambitions. I have seen this too many times. Focus my man, stay the course and make your studies a priority. I am not saying be a prude, but hang in there and dedicate yourself to your craft. You do this, and you will find later on down the road the payoff is worth it.

[Sabali]

Sorry that you are going through this, man. I hate to tell you what you may already know and that is that only time will make you feel better. There really isn't much you can do to get past all of this besides living your life and not contacting her at all.

 

You must cut yourself off from her completely. This is the only way that your wounds will heal quicker as opposed to continuing to contact her. You have a big educational task ahead of you and you need to pour your heart into that for the double benefit of excelling in school and getting your mind off of your ex. One day, you gonna wake up and realize that you don't feel hurt by all of this any longer. It can be sooner rather than later if you just don't try to continue to spend time with her.

 

You can try online dating but I don't think you are any shape to handle that form of entertainment just yet. Take the bruising for a little bit and wear the battlescar proudly in the future. We're going to get you through this!

[mirage12]

oops guess this should go in the breakup thread...yeah i definitely get all the "don't talk to her" advice and all that, it's just very strange to have someone be a huge part of your life for so long/talk to them every day and then all of a sudden not at all...i know it'll make things worse but i can't help thinking that any contact is better than no contact at all...but maybe that's just some little hope in the back of my mind that contact will cause us to spark again. it's also worse knowing (and I should've taken this as a warning sign) that she's kind of a chronic dater, dates guys for similar periods of time then for whatever reason, always ends up breaking up...so i'm sure she'll be recovering quickly and will meet someone new while i'm still reeling, which kills me to think about

[skydiveaddict]

do yourself a very big favor and quit talking to her. You're only going to get your heart smashed. been there done that