agt2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Okay so I've been casually dating over the past month between an online dating site and girls I met in person. Im an above average looking guy but do not want to sound cocky or conceited. To make a long story short I've met with this one girl I really have an amazing vibe with, and she is perfect g/f material. Great job, gorgeous, sexy, classy, smart, funny, she is really into me but not clingy. So I want to concentrate my time and energy into her 100% for now and see if we can make it to the next level, and if not no biggie I'll jump back in the dating arena if it doesn't work out. But I want to give her my undivided attention. So I pretty much told all the other girls I was talking with that I found someone that caught my interest and I am falling back from dating so I can devote more time to this individual. Everyone understood except for this one girl! She was very clingy from the jump. It threw me off b/c she is very attractive and wouldn't see her as this type. She would start talking about "future" vacation plans with me and weird stuff like that. She really scared me off since I told her from the jump I like my space and take things slowly( obvious so I can see other women until I find the right one). Well didn't work. She calls/texts constantly! Here is the kicker we never even slept together!! We went on 1 date and only kissed/made out! She said she stopped talking to everyone she was talking too and I told her not too b/c we have no "Title" she said she liked me so much she didn't care!! Told all her friends, family, coworkers about me. Even invited me to a family outing of course which I declined to go too! So i break her the news to her about how I met someone I want to concentrate on them and mind you I have been distancing myself from her like crazy lately anyways( not answering her calls/texts less etc.) I even told her I was going out on a date over the weekend when she asked me to hang out thinking it would drive her away! But Nope it didn't ! She asked about the date the next morning and I said it was really good. She sends a text yesterday saying it seems like we are only like friends and not going to the next level.. Bingo perfect timing I think, I said I think we should only be friends and leave it at that. An hour later she answers me that she agrees but i seemed like the perfect match for her blah blah blah. Now today she sends me a text saying she is coming by my neighborhood with her mom to a casino and wants to know if I would want to meet them there to hang out??? Im so confused, I am not mean by nature but I do not need her to keep contacting me so much especially if I happen to be out with this other girl I want to get serious with! I'm not a mean person and don't want to be too rude but do I have too? No contact never worked b/c when I avoid her calls she keeps trying non stop!! Help what do i do???Any advice?? Serious clinger here!!!
meerkat stew Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 At this point, you need to completely ignore further contacts altogether. There are lots of unbalanced folks online. In all likelihood, though, she is just crushing and will recover after being ignored for awhile.
Author agt2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 thanks meerkat I'm going to take your advice
Sabali Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Okay so I've been casually dating over the past month between an online dating site and girls I met in person. Im an above average looking guy but do not want to sound cocky or conceited. To make a long story short I've met with this one girl I really have an amazing vibe with, and she is perfect g/f material. Great job, gorgeous, sexy, classy, smart, funny, she is really into me but not clingy. So I want to concentrate my time and energy into her 100% for now and see if we can make it to the next level, and if not no biggie I'll jump back in the dating arena if it doesn't work out. But I want to give her my undivided attention. I think that this is a big mistake. Call all of your other girls back now and tell them you were just kidding. You are getting rid of everyone to concentrate on this one woman who has not committed to you or agreed to do the same? I am little worried for you. Wouldn't it be a trip if the woman you just want to concentrate on told you tomorrow that she just want an open relationship?
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 +1 on meerkat's advice. Kindest exit for both of you since you already tried the polite talk thing. Resist any feeling to reply or pick up.
SarahRose Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 If she won't go away just start being weird and creepy. She'll go away then.
AverageJoe Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I think that this is a big mistake. Call all of your other girls back now and tell them you were just kidding. You are getting rid of everyone to concentrate on this one woman who has not committed to you or agreed to do the same? I am little worried for you. Wouldn't it be a trip if the woman you just want to concentrate on told you tomorrow that she just want an open relationship? I thought about this as well. That move may have been a little premature. I dont get why some people have a problem saying no. Its real simple, a two letter word. No. Its not being mean, its being practical. You say you dont want to be mean, maybe a guy with manners. Great, where are her manners? You tell her no, and for her to never contact you again. Ever. Simple as that.
Author agt2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 I think that this is a big mistake. Call all of your other girls back now and tell them you were just kidding. You are getting rid of everyone to concentrate on this one woman who has not committed to you or agreed to do the same? I am little worried for you. Wouldn't it be a trip if the woman you just want to concentrate on told you tomorrow that she just want an open relationship? no it's not a mistake. I want to give my attention to her fully to try to take it to the next step, if I'm running around and giving time to all these other girls than I could never truly find out if this was "next level" material. If it doesn't work out so be it. I have no problem getting girls so if I see it doesn't work out in the next month or 2 I just hop back in the arena and start all over again building up a whole new stable of chicks and do the process over again. you have to have it down to a science bro. date as many as you can but if you ever find that one that seems like a "keeper" and things are going starting to go right, don't mess it up by trying to juggle your hands on too many at once. play with fire and you will get burnt!
Sabali Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 no it's not a mistake. I want to give my attention to her fully to try to take it to the next step, if I'm running around and giving time to all these other girls than I could never truly find out if this was "next level" material. If it doesn't work out so be it. I have no problem getting girls so if I see it doesn't work out in the next month or 2 I just hop back in the arena and start all over again building up a whole new stable of chicks and do the process over again. you have to have it down to a science bro. date as many as you can but if you ever find that one that seems like a "keeper" and things are going starting to go right, don't mess it up by trying to juggle your hands on too many at once. play with fire and you will get burnt! I know this situation well and I understand your point well. It is not irrational but I do know a thing or two about attraction and the timing of pushing eject buttons and looking for escape hatches. I am just wondering if you are pushing that eject button a little too soon for the other women in your life. But this is no problem if you are willing to start all over like you say you are so then its no big deal. Whenever one is completely willing to deal with the consequences and risks in a situation like this, there is no need for further debate on the subject, in my opinion. I personally like to take things very slow and give crazy enough time to show itself, if it is going to show itself, before I look for escape hatches in other areas. Good luck and I hope it all works out well!
Enchanted Girl Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 You shouldn't have said that you two could still be friends. That's giving her a green light to keep contacting you. In reality, you want to stop speaking to her all together, so don't lie to her. Inviting you to things isn't actually overstepping those boundaries, only the continuation of her talking to you about romantic feelings is. Say that things are too complicated for the two of you to remain friends and you want to just focus on this one girl and forget all others, then COMPLETELY ignore her. Don't encourage her at all. You're encouraging her too much, but if you're very firm about this (you don't have to be rude or anything), she'll get the picture eventually. It may take a few days or weeks, but if you don't answer the phone at all or text her back, she'll eventually give up. The fact that you keep giving in to her and contacting her back, teaches her that if she continues trying hard enough, she'll eventually get ahold of you, no matter what you may say otherwise. You need to back up your words with actions.
NancyBotwin Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Yeah, I agree. Friends shouldn't have been offered, since you really have no interest in being her friend. I'm sure you did it to be nice, but lookie what that got ya. Tell her you are really busy and things are going great with the new gal. You really don't have time for hanging out, but you wish her the best. Then you have no reason to feel bad about ignoring her calls, texts, blah blah blah. Good luck with the new girl!
SarahRose Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Tell her your into anal. lol I was thinking he should start talking about how much he likes farm animals, really really likes farm animals and hopes she does too.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Tell her your into anal. You can take it more extreme than that and he can tell her that ever since he tried it in the butt once, he hates doing it in the vagina.
Dazzel Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 lol I was thinking he should start talking about how much he likes farm animals, really really likes farm animals and hopes she does too. LOL! That's great! That would scare a girl off in no time.
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