How do you know when you're in love?

[ladyjane83]

Just a general question really, wanted to know what people think. What are the signs/feelings that tell you that your falling in love with someone? I'm guessing its different for different people. I'm 26 and have had a number of boyfriends, I have only REALLY been in love once. I have thought I was in love before, with boyfriends when I was younger, but as I got older and experienced the real thing I realised I wasnt. I am now up to 4 months with my new boyfriend and I think Im starting to get those tell tale feelings...but I always thought that 4 months is way to quick to be falling in love with someone. is it?? I just know that this guy is the only guy I have met that has even come close to giving me the same feelings as the ex I was in love with a while ago. In fact, the new guy blows the ex out of the water!! I havent found one thing that I dont like or irritates me yet...but I know that could be because its only been 4 months. but I think about him all the time and talk about all the time...which probably gets on my friends nerves!! Its that it feels very quick thats bothering me!...could I really be falling after only 4 months? or is it just a severe case of honeymoon period?!

[OceanTropic]

In my case its just always thinking about them, wanting to be around them, wanting to spend lots of time with them.

 

Its the typical "butterflies in your stomach" feeling. Its the most cliche thing, and its probably most common in romance novels, but thats exactly how it feels like. Its a rare thing.

[denise_xo]

Just a general question really, wanted to know what people think. What are the signs/feelings that tell you that your falling in love with someone? I'm guessing its different for different people. I'm 26 and have had a number of boyfriends, I have only REALLY been in love once. I have thought I was in love before, with boyfriends when I was younger, but as I got older and experienced the real thing I realised I wasnt. I am now up to 4 months with my new boyfriend and I think Im starting to get those tell tale feelings...but I always thought that 4 months is way to quick to be falling in love with someone. is it?? I just know that this guy is the only guy I have met that has even come close to giving me the same feelings as the ex I was in love with a while ago. In fact, the new guy blows the ex out of the water!! I havent found one thing that I dont like or irritates me yet...but I know that could be because its only been 4 months. but I think about him all the time and talk about all the time...which probably gets on my friends nerves!! Its that it feels very quick thats bothering me!...could I really be falling after only 4 months? or is it just a severe case of honeymoon period?!

 

How do I know? It's a feeling of deep connection, and I instantly recognise it when I feel it.

 

When does it happen? With me, it happens very early (sometimes before I've even spoken to someone). That doesn't mean, of course, that we're necessarily compatible in terms of being partners.

[zengirl]

You don't have to ask.

 

Really, it's that simple. If you don't know you're in love, you're not in love.

 

(Unless you're really screwed up emotionally----but then I'm not sure if someone that screwed up emotionally can be in love.)

[phineas]

when you look forward to waking up next to them every morning.

[Enchanted Girl]

For me, it's when I know a lot of their faults and want to be with them anyway. It's also when I'm willing to sacrifice things for them.

 

I don't know though. Even the infatuation stage is a feeling and while I wouldn't revolve my life around that feeling, it's unfair to say that the two people are feeling nothing for one another.

 

I also think people overanalyze the l-word. It just means you care for someone and I think that can actually happen very easily and that it should be expressed when it happens so people can feel appreciated and cared for in the relationship.

[Eeyore79]

I think love is a little more than "butterflies in the tummy", although that's part of it. It's more about moving out of the spotlight in the centre of your own life and allowing someone to take your place, so you think more about their happiness than your own. To sacrifice yourself for someone, you really have to know them well, including their good and bad points, and care about them as an individual. Real love is very selfless, although you need to be careful that the other person doesn't take advantage of you and treats your love respectfully.

[alphamale]

What are the signs/feelings that tell you that your falling in love with someone?

because you start to lose your mind

[Pyro]

kind of hard to put into words. I will look back in the thread and see if someone proved me wrong

[Enchanted Girl]

I think love is a little more than "butterflies in the tummy", although that's part of it. It's more about moving out of the spotlight in the centre of your own life and allowing someone to take your place, so you think more about their happiness than your own. To sacrifice yourself for someone, you really have to know them well, including their good and bad points, and care about them as an individual. Real love is very selfless, although you need to be careful that the other person doesn't take advantage of you and treats your love respectfully.

 

Yea, that was pretty much what I was trying to say, just not as well, with the other points I made added on to it.

[Pyro]

For me, it's when I know a lot of their faults and want to be with them anyway. It's also when I'm willing to sacrifice things for them.

 

It's more about moving out of the spotlight in the centre of your own life and allowing someone to take your place, so you think more about their happiness than your own. To sacrifice yourself for someone, you really have to know them well, including their good and bad points, and care about them as an individual.

 

Thanks for proving me wrong.

[Knittress]

When you decide to be.

[denise_xo]

When you decide to be.

 

Can you expand a bit on that? I see people say this from time to time, but I don't understand it. I decide to work on a relationship, to nurture my feelings for someone, to invest into someone, to commit, etc. - but I don't see how one decides to 'fall in love' (allow oneself to fall in love would be the closest I can think of).

[Citizen Erased]

I knew when I was starting to fall in love, because he did something that made me realise he was worthy of it. Worth letting how I used to protect myself fall away because he was someone special.

 

He makes me happy even when I should be sad. His happiness is worth more to me and more important to me than anything. When he smiles, I smile. When he frowns, I frown. I can move my entire life to be with him without even a second thought because he brings the light into it like no other. He's my other half.

[goodgrief]

When you decide to be.

 

Exactly.

When you wake up in the morning and think -

I don't need a significant other, in my life to be completely fulfilled, content and happy.

If someone is in my life to whom I can give my all, that's great. But if they fail to give me their all, I still have me, and having me is better than a million 'having you's.

[jamesum]

Love is simply a chemical reaction.

 

Everytime you feel that you are in love, you really ARE in love. Its just that often the feeling fades away and you think it wasnt love.

[witabix]

Love is simply a chemical reaction.

 

I don't doubt that to be true, but if you hear these, perhaps 'chemically' induced, words drifting through your mind when you are walking home.......

 

SHE walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that 's best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes:

Thus mellow'd to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,

Had half impair'd the nameless grace

Which waves in every raven tress,

Or softly lightens o'er her face;

Where thoughts serenely sweet express

How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

 

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,

So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

The smiles that win, the tints that glow,

But tell of days in goodness spent,

A mind at peace with all below,

A heart whose love is innocent!

 

(Byron)

[gypsy_nicky]

Love is simply a chemical reaction.

 

Everytime you feel that you are in love, you really ARE in love. Its just that often the feeling fades away and you think it wasnt love.

 

A chemical reaction set off by the emotion of love or a chemical reaction that induces love? Still puzzling up to today.

[Enchanted Girl]

Can you expand a bit on that? I see people say this from time to time, but I don't understand it. I decide to work on a relationship, to nurture my feelings for someone, to invest into someone, to commit, etc. - but I don't see how one decides to 'fall in love' (allow oneself to fall in love would be the closest I can think of).

 

I agree with what you are saying, even though you asked a question.

[jamesum]

A chemical reaction set off by the emotion of love or a chemical reaction that induces love? Still puzzling up to today.

Well, emotions (including feeling of love) are created by chemical reactions in the brain. Not a puzzle at all.

[InceptorsRule]

How do you know when you're in love?

 

You know you're in love when you're able to clean up their vomit with pride, not resentment.

[BWLoca]

I don't doubt that to be true, but if you hear these, perhaps 'chemically' induced, words drifting through your mind when you are walking home.......

 

SHE walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that 's best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes:

Thus mellow'd to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,

Had half impair'd the nameless grace

Which waves in every raven tress,

Or softly lightens o'er her face;

Where thoughts serenely sweet express

How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

 

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,

So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

The smiles that win, the tints that glow,

But tell of days in goodness spent,

A mind at peace with all below,

A heart whose love is innocent!

 

(Byron)

 

 

This made me think of:

 

 

I love you, because in my thousand and one nights of dreams,

I Never once dreamed of you.

I looked down paths that traveled from afar,

but it was never you I expected.

Suddenly I've felt you flying through my soul

in quick , lofty flight,

and how beautiful you seem way up there, far

from my always idiot heart!

Love me that way, flying over everything.

And, like the bird on its branch, land in my arms

only to rest,

then fly off again.

Be not like the romantic one who,

In love, set me on fire.

When you climb up my mansion,

enter so lightly, that as you enter

the dog on my heart will not bark.

 

 

This is what I think of when I think of love...

[Knittress]

I guess we'd have to clarify what you mean by 'being in love.' 'Feeling' love is related to a person's emotional capacity, I think. And like any other feeling it can be squashed or stirred, and it'll fade eventually if you stop paying attention to it.

 

Loving someone is having respect for their character and seeing beauty in their uniqueness. It's committing to stir up the warm-feelings with loving actions even when you really can't be bothered. It's wanting the best for them, even if you come to realize you're completely wrong for each other (even if you're pissed about it). Stuff like that.

 

That's why I say love is a choice, not a feeling.

[witabix]

This made me think of:

 

 

I love you, because in my thousand and one nights of dreams,

I Never once dreamed of you.

I looked down paths that traveled from afar,

but it was never you I expected.

Suddenly I've felt you flying through my soul

in quick , lofty flight,

and how beautiful you seem way up there, far

from my always idiot heart!

Love me that way, flying over everything.

And, like the bird on its branch, land in my arms

only to rest,

then fly off again.

Be not like the romantic one who,

In love, set me on fire.

When you climb up my mansion,

enter so lightly, that as you enter

the dog on my heart will not bark.

 

 

This is what I think of when I think of love...

 

Thats nice BWLoca, who is it by?

[skydiveaddict]

I think Pyro and CE would be a good example. An indescribable chemistry (love) that simply brings two people together Nothing less, but there coulg be much more. But that would be a a private matter between them. .