temporaryvisa Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Your reading comprehension sucks. I clearly stated that the reason she might not be so hot is because ugly and average looking guys ask her out. You point out that "SOMETIMES A LOT OF GUYS ARE INTIMIDATED by looks" ...hello that is what i said too... if she was so hot she would rarely if ever get approached by ugly guys. I also mentioned that she is 31 and might not be looking good as she once was because girls hit their peak early..What do you do???You come out and compare yourself (age 18) to her. Here is a pic of the once considered the hottest women on the planet by many guys and magazines. Angelina Jolie AGE 35 http://i.imgur.com/d8FWz.jpg Not so hot anymore is she...? I like how you contradict yourself on everything My SUPER HOT BF treated me like GOLD ...oh btw he is now my EX BF ..if he was such a good guy, HOT , and treated you like GOLD why is he your EX. You are saying there are SUPER HOT nice guys but than you say he has been getting hornier.... lol maybe he is just realizing that he is hot can have any girl he wants and is taking advantage of that. I am thinking positive, that I'll be the hottest at fourty. I cant believe that's her at age 35! my idol, preity zinta is my mums age and looks freaking stunning!! 35 IS AN AWWWWWESOME AGE, OKAY? >_> And... well we broke up because of his traveling. I couldnt handle a LDR.
Curious-One Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I get the impression OP may be boring them to tears with treating each date like a Jeopardy show. She starts quizzing him on Mathematics, politics, and then zzzzz No guy gives a rat's ass about that. I think if she stopped talking about her education, job, politics, and other heavy subjects and acts girly, flirty, and just has fun she'll do much better. Also a hot guy knows she a lay down because she instantly becomes a door mat around them and they use her for sex and move on. I don't think people are trying to be rude but trying trying to figure out what the problem is. What they guy said about ugly guys usually not approaching super hot girls is correct. It seldom happened to me. ahaha that is exactly what i was thinking. Lol this girl knows what she is talking about.
Curious-One Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Hahahhaha -for the record I am very honest when describing my looks. I know that I am not super hot, but I am DEFINITELY above average. True story: when I was 17, I won a first runner up to teen miss {my country}. I am now about 20lbs heavier, but I am 5'9" tall so it's not THAT obvious. Sorry - but I just couldn't win that and actually be ugly. I have also had a painful few years long serious on and off relationship with a guy that was doing CK modeling on the side. Super hot - 6'4", built, tanned, olive skinned, dark haired. He was a self-absorbed narcissistic a$$ so that didn't work out well. I feel silly defending myself like this, but I don't like being called ugly. Out of 16 online first dates that I went on (and I was picking at least average to hot guys based on pictures) 15 called me back. I wasn't attracted to any of them but one. This simply wouldn't happen if I was ugly. RIIIIIIIIIIGHT All the hot guys now do online dating. Lol you think a hot guy needs to resort to picking up girls online?? Also went on 16 dates and didnt even find one compatible person ... picky much?? FYI i did not call you ugly , i just said you might not be as hot as you think. You were runner up for miss my country 13 years ago... that is a long time and i am sure it doesnt help that you gained 20 pounds. You should post a pic so we can see u lolz
shadowplay Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Sad: You were really a beauty queen? I had no idea.
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Bleh. Angelina Jolie is still hot imo. Yes but she has this annoying habit of bringing up politics and humanitarian aid during dates so all we LS guys stopped taking her calls.
meerkat stew Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 How old are you people anyway? OP is 31. Educated adults with jobs often talk about things other than Lady Gaga and Jersey Shore on their dates. Myself, I do impressions of Family Guy characters and make fart noises with my hands.
SarahRose Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Yes but she has this annoying habit of bringing up politics and humanitarian aid during dates so all we LS guys stopped taking her calls. And yapping about her 50 million kids and PhD in basket weaving. STFU already!
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 He is crazy about me. He told me that when we met online he had a feeling that I am a girl he will one day marry (we talked every day and few times a day for a month). Meeting me only confirmed this. (I know this sounds like too much too soon, but he is TRULY genuine. There is no doubt in my mind about that - at least that's what he feels at this point in time). He texted me just now "I really like you, you are the most amazing girl I have ever met". He says what's on his mind. He doesn't censor himself or play games. --------------------------- Should I give it a chance? Low physical attraction really bothers me the most Why am I so shallow??? If that's your actual photo in the avatar, then go ahead and go the shallow route.
westrock Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Have you ever analysed what these "hot" guys represent to you?Hi TBF, Mostly it's just the way my body responds to them. Being attracted or not is not a concious choice. There is proably a small part of me that feels that I am more "worthy" if a hot man wants to date me I also wonder about something zengirl posted, that I may somehow emotionally be blocking the attraction to men that are genuinly interested and available to me. I think you also need to look at this from the opposite perspective -- have you ever analysed what the not-so-"hot" guys represent to you? Here a few questions to ponder that may give you some insight... 1. Why do you think you are emotionally blocking the attraction to men that are genuinly interested and available to you? 2. Do your interactions with these not-so-"hot" guys trigger inside of you negative or anxious feelings about yourself? 3. When you are with these not-so-"hot" guys how do you feel about yourself in terms of: your own beauty, your own intelligence? 4. What do you think family, friends, and others are thinking about you when they see you with the not-so-"hot" guys? Being attracted or not may not be a conscious choice, but that doesn't mean you don't have any say in the matter. Once you find yourself attracted you still have a conscious that can assess the situation to determine if your initial feelings are correct or misguided. Intellectually, you know that many of these "hot" guys don't treat you properly. Use that insight next time your body responds to one of these "hot" guys.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 Sad: You were really a beauty queen? I had no idea. Hah - it's embarrassing. I never tell this story in real life and even on here unless provoked. I remember when it all happened, I was holidaying with my parents near the Adriatic coast. I was tanned, happy, young and probably looked better than ever. A woman and a man approached me on the street and asked my parents too. They basically offered to fly my whole family to another city for 2 weeks. Of course, we were all overjoyed and my parents were all for it. Once I met the other girls, I was SOOOO sure that I don't stand a chance in hell - they were all stunning. But first runner up was so much more than I could have ever hoped for. I did get offers to do other pageants after but I declined. I didn't feel like I belonged in that world at all. It was fun while it lasted, but I wanted to pursue college not travel around the country doing beauty pageants.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 West, good questions. I will try to answer here: WR:Why do you think you are emotionally blocking the attraction to men that are genuinly interested and available to you? SaC: I think and always felt that the part of is SCARED of actual, normal relationship. I am scared of that level of emotionally intimacy. I worry that I will end up feeling smothered. But at the same time I DO want to be in a relationship. So it's very confusing. WR. Do your interactions with these not-so-"hot" guys trigger inside of you negative or anxious feelings about yourself? SaC: No - I don't feel anxious. I am comfortable with those guys. I can chat away forever. I only don't feel excited about them. The prospect of seeing them again seems like a drag. WR. When you are with these not-so-"hot" guys how do you feel about yourself in terms of: your own beauty, your own intelligence? SaC: They do make me feel that I am beautiful and smart. They are typically nicer to me than "hot" guys. They treat me well. Then there is a part of me that thinks that if I am that beautiful and smart, I should have been able to get a hot guy (I know this sounds bad). WR. What do you think family, friends, and others are thinking about you when they see you with the not-so-"hot" guys? SaC: That they will think less of me. As in, if she was really that awesome, she would be able to land a super hot super successful guy. ---------------- I actually think it would be interesting to answer your questions but substitute "not so hot" with "super hot" guys and see what comes up. Thanks for putting an effort into helping me I now have to run (going to a live taping of my fave comedy show so won't have access to intraweb for the next 5 hours)
zengirl Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I get the impression OP may be boring them to tears with treating each date like a Jeopardy show. She starts quizzing him on Mathematics, politics, and then zzzzz No guy gives a rat's ass about that. I think if she stopped talking about her education, job, politics, and other heavy subjects and acts girly, flirty, and just has fun she'll do much better. Also a hot guy knows she a lay down because she instantly becomes a door mat around them and they use her for sex and move on. I don't think people are trying to be rude but trying trying to figure out what the problem is. What they guy said about ugly guys usually not approaching super hot girls is correct. It seldom happened to me. Why this notion that all attractive people are entirely lacking in intellectual curiosity? ALL the fellows I've dated, some of whom have simply been cute and some of whom have been knockouts have been interested in something like politics, science, math, etc. And THEY bring this stuff up. I'm pretty sure I'm fairly close to "hot" (in a classical sense) and am generally perceived to be quite attractive, and I like to talk about more than my beauty routine and shoes, too. The whole hot/shallow-or-stupid notion really annoys me. You know what? There are unattractive stupid people and sexy nerds. Maybe nobody talks about either because one category is just sad ("Man, they don't have brains or looks") and one category just pisses people off. Natalie Portman went to an Ivy League school, and I'm pretty sure she can get a date. So did David Duchovny (he went to two!). Amanda Peet and Famke Janssen did too. Matt Damon didn't graduate but he went to Harvard. Leonardo DiCaprio loves politics and is passionate about the environment. Cindy Crawford almost completed a chemical engineering degree on a full academic scholarship (dropped out because she was already becoming a supermodel). James Franco is getting an MFA at Columbia. Chris Noth went to Yale. George Clooney likes to talk about Darfur. Will Smith got a scholarship to MIT. I could go on, but . . . This doesn't even count the almost-handsome-closer-to-cute braniacs like Jon Krasinski, who most gals wouldn't kick out of bed for eating crackers! And these are just the celebrities. Some people do think talking about politics and such is a fun thing to do, and there are intellectuals and "nerds" of all various attraction levels. The hottest guy I currently know has a PhD in philosophy from Vanderbilt, and he loves to talk about French and Russian philosophies in long, deep conversations I don't fully understand (and I'm pretty damn smart) sometimes. That said, I'm not saying one should "grill" anyone on a date, but why assume an intellectual conversation isn't fun or is "grilling." I know loads of hot guys who go to trivia regularly; they can't hate Jeopardy that much.
zengirl Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I get the impression OP may be boring them to tears with treating each date like a Jeopardy show. She starts quizzing him on Mathematics, politics, and then zzzzz No guy gives a rat's ass about that. I think if she stopped talking about her education, job, politics, and other heavy subjects and acts girly, flirty, and just has fun she'll do much better. Also a hot guy knows she a lay down because she instantly becomes a door mat around them and they use her for sex and move on. I don't think people are trying to be rude but trying trying to figure out what the problem is. What they guy said about ugly guys usually not approaching super hot girls is correct. It seldom happened to me. Why this notion that all attractive people are entirely lacking in intellectual curiosity? ALL the fellows I've dated, some of whom have simply been cute and some of whom have been knockouts have been interested in something like politics, science, math, etc. And THEY bring this stuff up. I'm pretty sure I'm fairly close to "hot" (in a classical sense) and am generally perceived to be quite attractive, and I like to talk about more than my beauty routine and shoes, too. I'm really against the whole Pretty/Smart dichotomy ideas. You know what? There are unattractive stupid people and sexy nerds. Maybe nobody talks about either because one category is just sad ("Man, they don't have brains or looks") and one category just makes people feel insecure. Natalie Portman went to an Ivy League school, and I'm pretty sure she can get a date. So did David Duchovny (he went to two!). Amanda Peet and Famke Janssen did too. Matt Damon didn't graduate but he went to Harvard. Leonardo DiCaprio loves politics and is passionate about the environment. Cindy Crawford almost completed a chemical engineering degree on a full academic scholarship (dropped out because she was already becoming a supermodel). James Franco is getting an MFA at Columbia. George Clooney likes to talk about Darfur. Will Smith got a scholarship to MIT. I could go on, but . . . This doesn't even count the almost-handsome-closer-to-cute braniacs like John Krasinski, who most gals wouldn't kick out of bed for eating crackers! And these are just the celebrities. Some people do think talking about politics and such is a fun thing to do, and there are intellectuals and "nerds" of all various attraction levels. The hottest guy I currently know has a PhD in philosophy from Vanderbilt, and he loves to talk about French and Russian philosophies in long, deep conversations I don't fully understand (and I'm pretty damn smart) sometimes. That said, I'm not saying one should "grill" anyone on a date, but why assume an intellectual conversation isn't fun or is "grilling."
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 SarahRose, not sure what your problem is with me, but your posts come across as quite nasty. You keep insuniating that I am not good looking (really I could actually be hotter than you given that we only have our words for it and I am not the confident type to talk up my looks). Also, I am not sure what world you live in. Where I am from, there is plenty of below to average guys who are confident and have no problem hitting on hot girls. In fact, I see quite a few long term couples with below to average guy and a hot girl. The notion that "ugly" guys simply don't go after hot girls is ridiculous. You keep saying that the men have sex with me and leave, which again couldn't be furtther from the truth. I have only ever slept with 3 men in my 31 years and all were LTR. It takes me ages to be comfortable to sleep with someone. I don't take sex lightly. It is fine to be completly off the mark and have an intuation of a sledge hammer but please keep the veiled and not so veiled insults to a minimum.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 I was hanging out with my brother today and we ran into the guy from this thread. We ended up grabbing a quick coffee as he was keen to meet my brother. I did fill in my brother on my dating life beforehand. My brother tends to be looks obsessed, so he told me straight away that I am better looking than this guy. He basically said that I am 7-8 (he is pretty blunt and not the type to flatter, he will tell me straight up when I have gained weight or am wearing unflattering clothes). He said that this guy is a "5" at most. Basically he said that looks wise, I can do a lot better. He also didn't think that the guy is overly intelligent Sigh. BTW the guy is still crazy about me, multiple texts, made a real effort with my brother and has now asked me for my address so that he can send me flowers.
zengirl Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I was hanging out with my brother today and we ran into the guy from this thread. We ended up grabbing a quick coffee as he was keen to meet my brother. I did fill in my brother on my dating life beforehand. My brother tends to be looks obsessed, so he told me straight away that I am better looking than this guy. He basically said that I am 7-8 (he is pretty blunt and not the type to flatter, he will tell me straight up when I have gained weight or am wearing unflattering clothes). He said that this guy is a "5" at most. Basically he said that looks wise, I can do a lot better. He also didn't think that the guy is overly intelligent Sigh. BTW the guy is still crazy about me, multiple texts, made a real effort with my brother and has now asked me for my address so that he can send me flowers. Who cares what your brother thinks? Even if your brother thought the fellow was a 10 and the hottest guy you knew was a 5, what matters is who you are physically attracted to.
SarahRose Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 SarahRose, not sure what your problem is with me, but your posts come across as quite nasty. You keep insuniating that I am not good looking (really I could actually be hotter than you given that we only have our words for it and I am not the confident type to talk up my looks). Also, I am not sure what world you live in. Where I am from, there is plenty of below to average guys who are confident and have no problem hitting on hot girls. In fact, I see quite a few long term couples with below to average guy and a hot girl. The notion that "ugly" guys simply don't go after hot girls is ridiculous. You keep saying that the men have sex with me and leave, which again couldn't be furtther from the truth. I have only ever slept with 3 men in my 31 years and all were LTR. It takes me ages to be comfortable to sleep with someone. I don't take sex lightly. It is fine to be completly off the mark and have an intuation of a sledge hammer but please keep the veiled and not so veiled insults to a minimum. Whoa where is all this hate coming from? I never said a damn thing about your appearance. Several other people did but not me. Rail on them.
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Sigh. The OP in this thread makes a good point, at this point you should probably take her advice: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t241987/ And then if he persists, Meerkat's first response here is wise: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t242147/ Whoa where is all this hate coming from? Probably when you called her a lay down. I actually don't think you meant it harshly, but that's certainly how it read.
shadowplay Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 (edited) Why this notion that all attractive people are entirely lacking in intellectual curiosity? ALL the fellows I've dated, some of whom have simply been cute and some of whom have been knockouts have been interested in something like politics, science, math, etc. And THEY bring this stuff up. I'm pretty sure I'm fairly close to "hot" (in a classical sense) and am generally perceived to be quite attractive, and I like to talk about more than my beauty routine and shoes, too. I'm really against the whole Pretty/Smart dichotomy ideas. You know what? There are unattractive stupid people and sexy nerds. Maybe nobody talks about either because one category is just sad ("Man, they don't have brains or looks") and one category just makes people feel insecure. Natalie Portman went to an Ivy League school, and I'm pretty sure she can get a date. So did David Duchovny (he went to two!). Amanda Peet and Famke Janssen did too. Matt Damon didn't graduate but he went to Harvard. Leonardo DiCaprio loves politics and is passionate about the environment. Cindy Crawford almost completed a chemical engineering degree on a full academic scholarship (dropped out because she was already becoming a supermodel). James Franco is getting an MFA at Columbia. George Clooney likes to talk about Darfur. Will Smith got a scholarship to MIT. I could go on, but . . . This doesn't even count the almost-handsome-closer-to-cute braniacs like John Krasinski, who most gals wouldn't kick out of bed for eating crackers! And these are just the celebrities. Some people do think talking about politics and such is a fun thing to do, and there are intellectuals and "nerds" of all various attraction levels. The hottest guy I currently know has a PhD in philosophy from Vanderbilt, and he loves to talk about French and Russian philosophies in long, deep conversations I don't fully understand (and I'm pretty damn smart) sometimes. That said, I'm not saying one should "grill" anyone on a date, but why assume an intellectual conversation isn't fun or is "grilling." My brother went to college with Natalie Portman, was in a few of her classes, and said she was surprisingly unintelligent compared to other students. In fact she had this reputation around campus, and it coincides with my impression of her based on interviews and a letter I read that she wrote to the Crimson. Getting into an ivy league if you're already famous doesn't mean much since you have extreme affirmative action working in your favor. That said, I agree with you that looks and intelligence aren't correlated. Edited August 18, 2010 by shadowplay
zengirl Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 My brother went to college with Natalie Portman, was in a few of her classes, and said she was surprisingly unintelligent compared to other students. In fact she had this reputation around campus, and it coincides with my impression of her based on interviews and a letter I read that she wrote to the Crimson. Getting into an ivy league if you're already famous doesn't mean much since you have extreme affirmative action working in your favor. That said, I agree with you that looks and intelligence aren't correlated. Okay, she was already famous. Point taken. Though I still think Natalie Portman is likely above average intelligence from hearing her speak, so we'll have to agree to disagree there. But most of the folks I listed weren't famous prior to going to the good schools.
guccichick Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Meh.. I wasn't as physically attracted to my boyfriend when I first met him. We got along GREAT, had great conversation.. I LOVED how we clicked mentally. I haven't had such a great time in years. Now? He's the hottest thing in my world. I am so physically attracted to him it's unbelievable. If I would have ran the first day, I would have been missing out on everything. Don't always judge a book by its cover.
Ariadne Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 has now asked me for my address so that he can send me flowers. Aww.....
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 I still haven't decided what to do with this guy. I feel like he is my only chance for a LTR at this point.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 The other thing with him is that is just so DAMN easy to talk to. Sure, he might not be incredibly intelligent, but I feel like I can open up emotionally to him. Within 30 minutes of meeting him I told him the whole story of how I was bullied in high school and how hard it was when I moved from Eastern Europe and spoke no English, how I had no friends etc. And he was soooo understanding. I never even felt close to opening up like that on any first (or fourth) dates.
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