zengirl Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Yah u want to marry a man that is hot , goodluck with that.. we will see you back here complaining how man are pigs, cheat and dont treat women right. You do realize hot men get hit on by stunning hot girls all the time and it is very very very hard for a man to refuse sex from a hot girl. Furthermore hot guys have egos, and they will not TREAT you nice especially if you are average in looks department. They are used to to getting girls easy and will not put up with any bs because they can always get another girl. This brings me to another point.. The reason you cant hold a hot man's interest is because you are SMART and boring.. what hot man wants to talk about freaking politics. I could care less who is getting elected or the fact that you have a Phd..date is suppose to be fun, i dont want you to bore me with polotics or hear you brag about your Phd and how you spent 8-12 years in college. I know hot, smart, committed men. Though I'm not saying everyone needs to shoot for the stars. I just think it's lame when people think that attractive people are more likely to cheat; it isn't really the case if you actually judge a person's character. They might get more opportunity, but the people who will never cheat will never cheat regardless. I'm only interested in those people personally----not just the people who don't have the opportunity to cheat. Nor are all hot men stupid, anti-intellectual, or egoistic. Plenty of ugly guys are these things as well, and everyone in between. And ugly and hot are relative, really. The guys I think are the "hottest" are not the same fellows many of my friends pick (I think there would be general consensus they were "kind of cute" maybe, but certainly not the guys my gal friends find "sexy".) I do think that if someone desires to marry someone "Hot" that's a bit silly. But you have to be physically attracted to a person (as in WANT to have sex with them) or else I think it's a bit odd. That said, maybe some people are more out of touch with what they're actually attracted to and need the "grow on me" time. I've never experienced that phenomenon. (And I'm not saying I only date men who are classically "hot" --- just only men I'm physically drawn to.) I guess I would just be really offended and put-off if a fellow dated me consistently and didn't think I was beautiful. I don't want to "grow on" anyone. Has anyone considered that side?
SarahRose Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Badly. Very badly indeed. I briefly considered taking a break from dating and killing myself at gym, so that I can easier attract hot guys. But the underlying problem with that is that most of the hot guys I dated were d%icks. I mean self-abosrbed, arrogant and well aware of their looks. They treated people in their lives like s$it. That kind of makes me wonder that even if they had super hot gfs, they would still be d%icks. My mum is always telling me that passion fades and to marry a guy that loves me more than I love him. Your mum is right. So why do you keep doing the same thing expecting a different result? Your experiences tell you hot guys aren't good relationship material. The 2 guys I had children with, one I married and one I didn't were considered really hot but I was really hot too like SI hot. It wasn't hard to find someone as the guys I was attracted to were always attracted to me plus there wasn't all this instant gratification in a throw away society like we have now. Guy one was super hot and built with a tan and blonde hair sexy surfer looks. He wasn't mean to me but he was lazy and wouldn't work. Guy number two I married and he was sexy Italian and was mistaken for a certain movie star. He loved me but he was a drunken abusive ass. My 2nd marriage. To me he is hot but he doesn't have those movie star GQ looks. He is very tall and slim. He is very kind and gentle to me. I don't think I've ever heard him raise his voice. We have a lot in common and get along extremely well. We have the same likes dislikes, values, habits. We are an unlikely couple because of huge age difference. Im an old bag and he isn't lol. I have a high paying high powered career and he is in a more artsy blue collar career. If you talked to me about current politics, I wouldn't know squat about it either. I know there is an election coming up soon between Gillard and someone else but the reason I don't know is not because I am stupid. It is because I don't care about politics. When I got divorced from my 1st husband I made a conscious decision to go for a completely different type. It really is a conscious decision. I see a lot of young 20s -30s people ending up alone because they have this shopping list of the unattainable and so selfish and self-absorbed they have no clue on how to get along with another human being.
Curious-One Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 (edited) I know hot, smart, committed men. Though I'm not saying everyone needs to shoot for the stars. I just think it's lame when people think that attractive people are more likely to cheat; it isn't really the case if you actually judge a person's character. They might get more opportunity, but the people who will never cheat will never cheat regardless. I'm only interested in those people personally----not just the people who don't have the opportunity to cheat. Nor are all hot men stupid, anti-intellectual, or egoistic. Plenty of ugly guys are these things as well, and everyone in between. And ugly and hot are relative, really. The guys I think are the "hottest" are not the same fellows many of my friends pick (I think there would be general consensus they were "kind of cute" maybe, but certainly not the guys my gal friends find "sexy".) I do think that if someone desires to marry someone "Hot" that's a bit silly. But you have to be physically attracted to a person (as in WANT to have sex with them) or else I think it's a bit odd. That said, maybe some people are more out of touch with what they're actually attracted to and need the "grow on me" time. I've never experienced that phenomenon. (And I'm not saying I only date men who are classically "hot" --- just only men I'm physically drawn to.) I guess I would just be really offended and put-off if a fellow dated me consistently and didn't think I was beautiful. I don't want to "grow on" anyone. Has anyone considered that side? Her own comment disaproves what you say But the underlying problem with that is that most of the hot guys I dated were d%icks. I mean self-abosrbed, arrogant and well aware of their looks. They treated people in their lives like s$it. That kind of makes me wonder that even if they had super hot gfs, they would still be d%icks. Yes there are some good looking guys that are also nice and husband material but finding one is like finding a needle in haystack. I also think maybe she could be delusional about how hot she really is. She says most of the guys that approach her are average or below average. From my experience average and ugly guys dont approach above average girls very often because usually those type of guys have low self confidence and scared of rejection. Most of them think that going after a girl out of their league is pointless as they have no chance. If she is getting approached by alot of ugly and average guys than chances are that she is just an average looking girl. Lets face it, she claims to be above average in physicall appearance,SMART,has a PHD, probobly has a good job yet she is single at 31... doesnt take a genius to realize something is off here. Personally i think she is too picky, goes after HOT guys when she herself is not very attractive. She gets dates with HOT guys but they realize that she isnt HOT enough to put too much effort into. It doesnt help that she talks about politics and her education while on dates.. what hot guy wants to talk about politics and have someone brag about her PHD?? NEXT Also , most single 30+ hot guys are single for a reason.... they are players that enjoy going having sex with many girls. If they are looking for a wife they are looking for a hot 25 year old girl not an average 31 year old girl who thinks she is gods gift to earth. Yes this might be little harsh but that is how HOT guys look at it... Most HOT guys will not treat girls as well as she expects because if they truly are hot they have no problem getting a girl. Infact most HOT guys treat girls like crap because they know they can easily get another HOT girl, this is why most hot guys come of as arrogant *******s. She herself has experienced this behavior yet she still wants a HOT guy.. Now can you see why she is still single 31yo even though she has many good qualities??? IMO she should give this guy a chance since he really seems to care about her, he might not be as hot or as smart but he cares alot about her and will treat her as she expects to be treated. Edited August 17, 2010 by Curious-One
zengirl Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Her own comment disaproves what you say Not really. Her comment proves that SaC can't pick 'em. Not that hot people are all jerks. Yes there are some good looking guys that are also nice and husband material but finding one is like finding a needle in haystack. I don't think a person's hotness is likely to factor into this much at all. I know loads of good looking guys who are awesome and plenty of guys who would be considered unattractive who are disgusting inside. Same with gals. I also think maybe she could be delusional about how hot she really is. She says most of the guys that approach her are average or below average. From my experience average and ugly guys dont approach above average girls very often because usually those type of guys have low self confidence and scared of rejection. Most of them think that going after a girl out of their league is pointless as they have no chance. If she is getting approached by alot of ugly and average guys than chances are that she is just an average looking girl. The theory behind this is possibly true, but SaC also has a possibly odd view of ugly and average. These things are so subjective, it's hard to discuss. I do agree that, in general, many nice guys especially will be scared to date too far above what they perceive to be their "league." This has been my experience. Actually, kinder, emotionally healthy guys in general are more reluctant to approach, especially with the vigor and massive insta-communicative vibe that SaC needs (this is where I think her problem lies). Most good guys take some time to come out of their shell, especially around a girl they consider a knockout. Personally i think she is too picky, goes after HOT guys when she herself is not very attractive. She gets dates with HOT guys but they realize that she isnt HOT enough to put too much effort into. It doesnt help that she talks about politics and her education while on dates.. what hot guy wants to talk about politics and have someone brag about her PHD?? NEXT Well, I think this is where the definition of "hot" becomes important. I mostly date cute, nerdy guys. . . They like talking about politics and philosophy and such. They might not like bragging (who does, really?) but I don't think all hot guys are anti-intellectual or all ugly guys are brainy.
jamesum Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 (edited) But that elimantes 99% of the population. Out of those 1%, some are taken, some are not itnerested in me and some are just bad personality matches. I will end up alone if I am that strict with the physical attraction thing. The worst thing a woman can do to a man is being with him despite not physically attracted at all because she cannot get the men she actually wants. Wanting an attractive mate is not wrong. But that necessity should not conquer all others. Also, most men are naturally hotter than most women. Its just that they have ZERO clue as to how to look good. I personally for example never went shopping without my sister because Im just blind when it comes to fashion. So maybe try to give your guy a makeover. You will be surprised. Anyway, if you dont mind, can you show us like what kind of men you find hot? Like throw a celebrity name or something that describes the men you want to have. Edited August 17, 2010 by jamesum
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Wow this thread sure took a nose dive. Lets face it, the fact that he is skinny , not attractive , and wears cheap cologne doesnt even matter. You're funny. Baggage much? what hot man wants to talk about freaking politics[...] i dont want you to bore me with polotics or hear you brag about your Phd Be careful, someone might interpret this as meaning that you are hot. We wouldn't want that, now would we? Where is the LOVE in all this? Totally! I mean, on date one, why hasn't she proposed yet? Or at least offered up one of her kidneys. BTW, is that you in your avatar. Why such a slutty picture? Is that how you present yourself to the outside world? Not very classy! The person in that avatar must obviously never get to go to any classy events, or get taken seriously enough to have a good job or any meaningful interactions with the world. What a dirty whore, she probably turns tricks for a living! The worst thing a woman can do to a man is being with him despite not physically attracted at all because she cannot get the men she actually wants. I suppose I'm not one to cast stones on this but don't you think that's a bit of an exaggeration there? But yes it's a bad idea to do this.
jamesum Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I suppose I'm not one to cast stones on this but don't you think that's a bit of an exaggeration there? But yes it's a bad idea to do this. If there is no mutual attraction, there will be no passion. How many times do we hear men complaining that their wives never wanted to have sex with them? Well, maybe those men should have not been in too much of a hurry to marry their hot wives without finding out beforehand if they were equally physically attracted to them or they just wanted to have a husband whom they feel they can take for granted.
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 If there is no mutual attraction, there will be no passion. I was only commenting on "worst thing." I agree, it's a bad idea.
jamesum Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I was only commenting on "worst thing." I agree, it's a bad idea. I meant to say 'one of the worst things'.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 Hahahhaha -for the record I am very honest when describing my looks. I know that I am not super hot, but I am DEFINITELY above average. True story: when I was 17, I won a first runner up to teen miss {my country}. I am now about 20lbs heavier, but I am 5'9" tall so it's not THAT obvious. Sorry - but I just couldn't win that and actually be ugly. I have also had a painful few years long serious on and off relationship with a guy that was doing CK modeling on the side. Super hot - 6'4", built, tanned, olive skinned, dark haired. He was a self-absorbed narcissistic a$$ so that didn't work out well. I feel silly defending myself like this, but I don't like being called ugly. Out of 16 online first dates that I went on (and I was picking at least average to hot guys based on pictures) 15 called me back. I wasn't attracted to any of them but one. This simply wouldn't happen if I was ugly.
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I meant to say 'one of the worst things'. Ok, better. Don't forget, she could bring up current events, which would be much worse, since we'd probably slip into a coma and die. Cuz we're so damn hot. BTW also agree 100% on taking a woman with you to shop.
Curious-One Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Wow this thread sure took a nose dive. You're funny. Baggage much? Be careful, someone might interpret this as meaning that you are hot. We wouldn't want that, now would we? Lol i definitely wouldnt call my self hot but have been on dates where girls very boring as hell. I have also tested what i am talking about, if i put too much effort into a girl and showed that i cared about her i wouldnt stay long with the girl 90% of the time. If i act like i could care less about the girl and i got other options than suddenly i am the sexiest guy alive. Those same girls that rejected me when i was nice to them suddenly started being intersted in me again after i stoped caring or they saw me with another girl. No the fact that he is skinny , not bright, and had bad cologne didnt turn her off from him. What turned her off was the fact that he seemed so desperate.. hello the dood was talking about marriage on first date, but than again i am not surprised ..she is 31yo and i am sure he is older too. There is no time for games The girl is 31 and claims to be above average in looks. Maybe she once was but i highly doubt she is now.. Girls peak with their appearance earlier than guys... there is a reason you dont find 30-40 year old girls in mens magazines. She needs to get of her high horse and stop going after model looking guys because she will be single for the rest of her life.
Blade Runner Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 (edited) My mum is always telling me that passion fades and to marry a guy that loves me more than I love him.[/Quote]Hope all the guys here are taking note. Not the first time I've heard this little statement here. Poor guys. Get married to someone you can't live without. Get married to someone you love. Get married to somebody who loves you the same way. That's love. Not this. This is fake. Phony. BS. Just 'cause you haven't met somebody who you feel this way about doesn't mean you should string a guy into marriage under these conditions. Sick of reading about these marriage-in-a-box let's-tell-my-friends-about-it, mr-right-now messages. Yeah okay, clock's ticking. This is exactly what happens. Seems like a lot of women run around with the hottest men they can get their hands on in their 20's, come time for marriage, they say "I've had my fun" and settle with a guy that back in College they would have never given the time of day. This is you...Or better, this is what you are trying to force yourself to do. If the guy's that in love with you, it could be years before he realizes that you don't even love him that much. One day when he figures it out, he might leave you if he's smart, and then what, you'll be 5-10 years older and back to square one. This is not a good move. But what do I know? You're the one with the PHD. Take out all your papers and go find your Megaman. Good luck with that. Sounds like you're trying to really force yourself to "lower" your standards. To trick yourself into settling for a guy and feeling something for him. You made a whole thread about a guy you aren't attracted to. This is silly. There are guys out there who are models, or great looking men who aren't complete wankers. But the ones that are crazy hot, tall, very intelligent, humble, great personalities etc....well they're probably all well taken in your age bracket. Either that or they're having too much fun being single. I don't know. But such a well rounded and gorgeous individual...such a swell merchant is rare. Not saying you should settle. Quite the opposite. You need to find this guy to be happy. If you're truly as gorgeous and well rouned a person as you say you are, you owe it to yourself to find your match. Otherwise, why bother getting married or getting into a relationship? If you're not totally and completely in love, you're just pushing buttons and getting a two minute release. Cheap and nasty. Edited August 17, 2010 by Blade Runner
jamesum Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Hope all the guys here are taking note. Well, most guys know what they are doing when they are going for the hot women who obviously arent actually into them. The problem is just that their penises and egos are clouding their judgments.
temporaryvisa Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 You are already changing and moulding him. Where is the LOVE in all this? BTW, is that you in your avatar. Why such a slutty picture? Is that how you present yourself to the outside world? Not very classy! It's not even slutty, it's really hot actually. It's sensual. I dont see tits or anything. WHO CARES SHE DOESNT DRESS LIKE THAT IN PUBLIC, I'M SURE! It's hot.
temporaryvisa Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Her own comment disaproves what you say Yes there are some good looking guys that are also nice and husband material but finding one is like finding a needle in haystack. I also think maybe she could be delusional about how hot she really is. She says most of the guys that approach her are average or below average. From my experience average and ugly guys dont approach above average girls very often because usually those type of guys have low self confidence and scared of rejection. Most of them think that going after a girl out of their league is pointless as they have no chance. If she is getting approached by alot of ugly and average guys than chances are that she is just an average looking girl. Lets face it, she claims to be above average in physicall appearance,SMART,has a PHD, probobly has a good job yet she is single at 31... doesnt take a genius to realize something is off here. Personally i think she is too picky, goes after HOT guys when she herself is not very attractive. She gets dates with HOT guys but they realize that she isnt HOT enough to put too much effort into. It doesnt help that she talks about politics and her education while on dates.. what hot guy wants to talk about politics and have someone brag about her PHD?? NEXT Also , most single 30+ hot guys are single for a reason.... they are players that enjoy going having sex with many girls. If they are looking for a wife they are looking for a hot 25 year old girl not an average 31 year old girl who thinks she is gods gift to earth. Yes this might be little harsh but that is how HOT guys look at it... Most HOT guys will not treat girls as well as she expects because if they truly are hot they have no problem getting a girl. Infact most HOT guys treat girls like crap because they know they can easily get another HOT girl, this is why most hot guys come of as arrogant *******s. She herself has experienced this behavior yet she still wants a HOT guy.. Now can you see why she is still single 31yo even though she has many good qualities??? IMO she should give this guy a chance since he really seems to care about her, he might not be as hot or as smart but he cares alot about her and will treat her as she expects to be treated. Hey, sotp being a jerk. I know I'm totally hot to a lot of guys, a lot of strangers tell me that on the subway and on the streets, but at 18, NO GUYS EVERRRR RANDOMLY ASK ME OUT. TRUST ME, SOMETIMES A LOT OF GUYS ARE INTIMIDATED by looks! And my ex-bf was extremely hot..and treated me like GOLD. Absolutely wonderful.... Although I gotta admit, he's now older and he seems to be changing...and getting hornier. >_<
temporaryvisa Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Honestly, she LOOKS attractive, doesn't she? Come on. Why are you guys that picky?! Only question I'd have is..well, OP, if you admit you're NOT super hot, why do you think you should only date super hot guys? :/
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 TV, just note that is a movie star in the avatar, not SAC. Although it's been said that SAC is a leggy former beauty queen so who knows.
temporaryvisa Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Oh, well that changes everything... >_> LOL.
Curious-One Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Hey, sotp being a jerk. I know I'm totally hot to a lot of guys, a lot of strangers tell me that on the subway and on the streets, but at 18, NO GUYS EVERRRR RANDOMLY ASK ME OUT. TRUST ME, SOMETIMES A LOT OF GUYS ARE INTIMIDATED by looks! And my ex-bf was extremely hot..and treated me like GOLD. Absolutely wonderful.... Although I gotta admit, he's now older and he seems to be changing...and getting hornier. >_< Your reading comprehension sucks. I clearly stated that the reason she might not be so hot is because ugly and average looking guys ask her out. You point out that "SOMETIMES A LOT OF GUYS ARE INTIMIDATED by looks" ...hello that is what i said too... if she was so hot she would rarely if ever get approached by ugly guys. I also mentioned that she is 31 and might not be looking good as she once was because girls hit their peak early..What do you do???You come out and compare yourself (age 18) to her. Here is a pic of the once considered the hottest women on the planet by many guys and magazines. Angelina Jolie AGE 35 http://i.imgur.com/d8FWz.jpg Not so hot anymore is she...? I like how you contradict yourself on everything My SUPER HOT BF treated me like GOLD ...oh btw he is now my EX BF ..if he was such a good guy, HOT , and treated you like GOLD why is he your EX. You are saying there are SUPER HOT nice guys but than you say he has been getting hornier.... lol maybe he is just realizing that he is hot can have any girl he wants and is taking advantage of that.
zengirl Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Lol i definitely wouldnt call my self hot but have been on dates where girls very boring as hell. I have also tested what i am talking about, if i put too much effort into a girl and showed that i cared about her i wouldnt stay long with the girl 90% of the time. If i act like i could care less about the girl and i got other options than suddenly i am the sexiest guy alive. Those same girls that rejected me when i was nice to them suddenly started being intersted in me again after i stoped caring or they saw me with another girl. No the fact that he is skinny , not bright, and had bad cologne didnt turn her off from him. What turned her off was the fact that he seemed so desperate.. hello the dood was talking about marriage on first date, but than again i am not surprised ..she is 31yo and i am sure he is older too. There is no time for games The girl is 31 and claims to be above average in looks. Maybe she once was but i highly doubt she is now.. Girls peak with their appearance earlier than guys... there is a reason you dont find 30-40 year old girls in mens magazines. She needs to get of her high horse and stop going after model looking guys because she will be single for the rest of her life. True: Desperation is not hot. False: Not caring is hot. True: Balance is the key to social interactions. I wouldn't date a fellow who jumped all over me like a lost puppy dog who needed to be adopted, because I don't need that drama, and I wouldn't date a fellow who acted disinterested or aloof in the beginning either, because I don't need that drama. They come from the same well. What you are saying in your post here, by doing "experiments" to see the difference in your own dating life is, "I don't have a healthy emotional balance on dates, so I have to play around with my 'effort' level." Drama. I don't think it's really the OP's looks holding her back, from what I've read of her experiences. I've no idea exactly where she falls on the "hot" scale (nor have I ever typed the word "hot" so many times as I have in this thread, man). But it seems to me like this hypothesis is pretty shaky. Hope all the guys here are taking note. Not the first time I've heard this little statement here. Poor guys. Get married to someone you can't live without. Get married to someone you love. Get married to somebody who loves you the same way. That's love. Not this. This is fake. Phony. BS. Just 'cause you haven't met somebody who you feel this way about doesn't mean you should string a guy into marriage under these conditions. Agreed. I hate the "Marry a man who loves you more than you love him" meme. Of course, don't marry a man who doesn't love you, but never marry a man who you don't love.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Hahahhaha -for the record I am very honest when describing my looks. I know that I am not super hot, but I am DEFINITELY above average. True story: when I was 17, I won a first runner up to teen miss {my country}. I am now about 20lbs heavier, but I am 5'9" tall so it's not THAT obvious. Sorry - but I just couldn't win that and actually be ugly. I have also had a painful few years long serious on and off relationship with a guy that was doing CK modeling on the side. Super hot - 6'4", built, tanned, olive skinned, dark haired. He was a self-absorbed narcissistic a$$ so that didn't work out well. I feel silly defending myself like this, but I don't like being called ugly. Out of 16 online first dates that I went on (and I was picking at least average to hot guys based on pictures) 15 called me back. I wasn't attracted to any of them but one. This simply wouldn't happen if I was ugly. No offense SAC, but online dating isn't what it used to be. And based on my experience on OKC, half the men on thereare either below average or just average. So, really, if gorgeous men can have their pick of the crop why are they hiding behind a computer? But then the same goes for women. Hence my logic- online dating leans more towards casual relationships over long term.
SarahRose Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I get the impression OP may be boring them to tears with treating each date like a Jeopardy show. She starts quizzing him on Mathematics, politics, and then zzzzz No guy gives a rat's ass about that. I think if she stopped talking about her education, job, politics, and other heavy subjects and acts girly, flirty, and just has fun she'll do much better. Also a hot guy knows she a lay down because she instantly becomes a door mat around them and they use her for sex and move on. I don't think people are trying to be rude but trying trying to figure out what the problem is. What they guy said about ugly guys usually not approaching super hot girls is correct. It seldom happened to me.
carhill Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 OP, have you ever had a girlfriend along when you've had a chance meeting with a man (not an organized date) and had her give you her impressions of the interactions? If not, try it sometime. No animals will be harmed.
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