alexlakeman Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 The guy sounds full of pitty lol. Telling u how much he's attracted, not having an education... Lol ditch him, wtf lol. Guess most guys r like and that's why it's so easy for some of us hah. Well, u did have convo with him. And dat was bout it. And he can't afford a gd cologne? I would just not wear any vs some bad cologne. Does he have a college degree? Do you?
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 16, 2010 Author Posted August 16, 2010 The guy sounds full of pitty lol. Telling u how much he's attracted, not having an education... Lol ditch him, wtf lol. Guess most guys r like and that's why it's so easy for some of us hah. Well, u did have convo with him. And dat was bout it. And he can't afford a gd cologne? I would just not wear any vs some bad cologne. Does he have a college degree? Do you? He has 3-year arts degree. I have PhD in math.
a_woman Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 He is tall but very skinny. When I hugged him, I could feel his bones. I am not that into that. Not really my physical type. this stuff you should check out before you meet someone really. I like athletic/muscular guys and never get attracted to skinny ones so I don't even talk to skinny ones online (unless it's just about being friends). it's so important that you get the physical aspect right before the first date as much as you can.
a_woman Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 The top quote is a direct result of the bottom quote.. Who isn't attracted to the hottest guys or girls.. Everybody is attracted to them. What you have to do is stop and realize that looks aren't everything.. we all get old and wrinkly and adjust yourself accordingly. I'm not saying you go out with guys that you find repulsive.. I'm saying to be more open minded about their looks. that sounds good in theory but I can't implement it. if I don't fancy someone's looks I don't want to keep seeing them. that doesn't mean textbook Brad Pitt stuff, it's just that I can't change whom I get attracted to physically. although I guess their personality plays a big part... still...
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 16, 2010 Author Posted August 16, 2010 Another thing that I liked - he forgot that I am 31 from the dating profile. He said something like "when are you turning 30?" (turns out he thought that I was in mid to late 20's). Yep, I am so insecure
threebyfate Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Exactly. I really need to lower my standards there. Especially because I am not incredibly hot myself, just kind of pretty - so those guy are really out of my league.Have you ever analysed what these "hot" guys represent to you?
SteveC80 Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 If your not physically attracted, not much you can do... I know it's different with girls than guys, I love how people always say this when theres no truth to this at all,looks are just as important to women Usually ugly guys say this to convince themselves women will be attracted to them reagrdless of what they look like
bobdole Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Sorry but there is truth to it. Nowhere did I say looks didn't matter to girls, but there are many more unattractive males with attractive female than vice versatile. There was a thread here about it not to long ago but your not worth my time to dig it up so.. I just love people like you, by the way, that attack random people behind a keyboard.. So fabulously cool!
SteveC80 Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Sorry but there is truth to it. Nowhere did I say looks didn't matter to girls, but there are many more unattractive males with attractive female than vice versatile. lol i very rarely see that most people i see together are pretty evenly mathced in terms of looks unless the guys rich
kalikula Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 (edited) ^ I disagree... From what I have studied (Evolutionary psychology) from a reproductive standpoint men should be more concerned with women's looks (especially body) and women should be a little more concerned with men's status and ability to provide. Though obviously this is not always the case, but it suggests how men and women's attractions have evolved differently. As far as I can tell, I think that is true... I see many couples where the women is much better looking or hot than the man, but very few where the man is significantly more attractive than his gf. (If I do see that, then the women still has a slamming body usually). It doesn't sound like this guy is up your alley, even if you were willing to compromise on his looks. Edited August 16, 2010 by kalikula
SteveC80 Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 ^ I disagree... From what I have studied (Evolutionary psychology) from a reproductive standpoint men should be more concerned with women's looks (especially body) and women should be a little more concerned with men's status and ability to provide. Though obviously this is not always the case, but it suggests how men and women's attractions have evolved differently. As far as I can tell, I think that is true... I see many couples where the women is much better looking or hot than the man, but very few where the man is significantly more attractive than his gf. (If I do see that, then the women still has a slamming body usually). It doesn't sound like this guy is up your alley, even if you were willing to compromise on his looks. I dont see that at all its mostly evenly matched in looks,i very rarely see a gorgeous girl with a ugly ass guy and the rare times i do im sure money or power is invovled Looks are just as important to women dont believe the bs
kalikula Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 It's not "BS" it's what I study and it makes sense to me. (In evolutionary history) A men's primary concern when finding a mate is looking for someone young and fertile with a good body. Those women have the best chances of getting pregnant. But for women, they are looking for a mate who can provide and offer them resources while they're pregnant and for their babies. Looks are less important because they want a man who will help their babies survive the best by giving them resources. Of course this is evolutionary history when babies always needed two parents to make it. Although that isn't true anymore, it should have created differences in what attracts women and men. Men should still be drawn to fertile women with good hip to waist ratios and women should be drawn to men who have status and indicators that he will help provide. http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/2004/apr/22/thisweekssciencequestions.evolution
Stockalone Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Should I give it a chance? Low physical attraction really bothers me the most Why am I so shallow??? If there is no physical attraction at all, it's over. I don't see what good it would do to go on another date. I do feel for the guy, though, because aside from being not your type, it's very likely that the women who do find him attractive, will run for the hills because of how he presents himself emotionally. I only hope he is aware of that and does it on purpose because that is simply who he is (an idealistic dreamer). Still, he isn't doing himself any favours. Was that the guy who was okay with being put on the back burner?
SteveC80 Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 It's not "BS" it's what I study and it makes sense to me. (In evolutionary history) A men's primary concern when finding a mate is looking for someone young and fertile with a good body. Those women have the best chances of getting pregnant. But for women, they are looking for a mate who can provide and offer them resources while they're pregnant and for their babies. Looks are less important because they want a man who will help their babies survive the best by giving them resources. Of course this is evolutionary history when babies always needed two parents to make it. Although that isn't true anymore, it should have created differences in what attracts women and men. Men should still be drawn to fertile women with good hip to waist ratios and women should be drawn to men who have status and indicators that he will help provide. http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/2004/apr/22/thisweekssciencequestions.evolution Blah Blah Blah weve evolved..Its overanalyzing genders,most people are paired up pretty equally wit htheir partner in terms of looks
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 16, 2010 Author Posted August 16, 2010 It is true. I see hot girls with average or below men ALL the time (I never see it the other way around). The problem is, I couldn't care less about man's abilty to provide. I can provide for myself. I want a man that is hot and that's why I am screwed. Nature just doesn't work that way. Having said that, I would be happy with a man that is not super hot but is the same attractivness as me (still above average). Sadly, all the men that show strong interest in me are average to below. Another thing that kind of screws with me is that I am able to get dates even with super hot men. It's just that I can never hold their interest. I am not sure if that's due to my personality or the fact that they were low interest in the first place.
bobdole Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 The super hot ones were probably thinking it would be easier to get laid if they downgraded thier physical requirements - it's common
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 I want a man that is hot and that's why I am screwed. No it's not. Really we have no idea whether you're more or less attractive overall (personality and looks) than these guys. Your insecurities make simply trusting your evaluation problematic. And even if you are less attractive, it's no dire situation to want an attractive man. I know hot guys with women less attractive than them. And visa versa. No need for the armchair evolutionary debate that has sprung up because we're not classifying the general population, we're classifying you. You're screwing around with people who are obviously innappropriate. Try more dates with the guys you're attracted to and fewer with these wastes of time. Don't worry about the rejection, you won't hit it off with most of them but that's because you won't hit it off with most people. You claim you hit it off with these lamer guys in a way you don't with the hottie guys - but you really haven't. For instance, this guy, you haven't hit it off with him at all. Otherwise you wouldn't be airing his failings online. Stop getting distracted. Also he's lame for you, I'm just going to come out and say it. He may have great wonderful human qualities but he's lame when put in the perspective of dating SAC. Forget education level, he's shown he can't even fake it when conversing about the most basic aspects of subjects near and dear to you. Also he's skinny enough that you have considered some mercy feeding. What a drag. If you were a guy, I'd assume you were dancing around with people you weren't really interested in just for the easy sex, and making up some convoluted explanations about it to avoid guilt/accusation/whatever. As it is, I have no rational explanation for why you are doing this, since you're not even getting a good shag out of it. Sadly, all the men that show strong interest in me are average to below. Another thing that kind of screws with me is that I am able to get dates even with super hot men. It's just that I can never hold their interest. As a mathmatician you know that your sample size is far too small for generalizations like these to be very convincing. They are consistent with your sample but who knows about the next guy. It's good to know your trends but don't get tied down by them. Another thing that I liked - he forgot that I am 31 from the dating profile. He said something like "when are you turning 30?" (turns out he thought that I was in mid to late 20's). Yep, I am so insecure Something is stinky about this, how could he be **soo** interested [in which case one should assume he's read your profile many times] and think you are marriage material [surely he would want to know how old his wife is] but also forget your age? He's either painfully oblivious when analyzing something [don't think that's going to jive well with your detail oriented nature] or he's running a line on you [this is the oldest line in the book to use on a woman over 30 and is used often].
Star Gazer Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 I want a man that is hot and that's why I am screwed. Maybe this will give you some hope. I met a guy last week from an online site. His pictures were just so-so. He was definitely attractive, but not anything major. When I met him at the restaurant, he literally took my breath away. I walked in, looked around, and didn't see him (or what I thought was him). Then this gorgeous guy stood up from the table and started walking towards me, big dumb grin on his face... and I was just left speechless. Don't put all your attention on the pictures. They only say so much, ya know?
Star Gazer Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Something is stinky about this, how could he be **soo** interested [in which case one should assume he's read your profile many times] and think you are marriage material [surely he would want to know how old his wife is] but also forget your age? He's either painfully oblivious when analyzing something [don't think that's going to jive well with your detail oriented nature] or he's running a line on you [this is the oldest line in the book to use on a woman over 30 and is used often]. I have to say, I totally agree with this. The guy I recently met has my profile memorized. Someone who's interested will KNOW how old you are, at the very least. It had to be a line.
shadowplay Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Thanks guys, all good points. I know he is bad at math but he is a musician, I mean I can't play an instrument. We are just talented in different ways. Also, I can buy him some cologne and fatten him up. He has a good height and both structure. Maybe I can fix him up? I forgot to say that I am from Eastern Europe and he learned few phrases in my language as a suprise. When we had dinner, he barely ate a thing. I meanwhile I ate for both of us When I asked him why he wasn't eating he said that he is too nervous about meeting me to eat. Gawd, my self-esteem must be rock bottom if I am this pleased that a guy is this into me. I wish I could combine physical attraction and intelligence of the last guy with conversational ease and openess of this guy together with the interest level somewhere in between the two. This guy sounds like a loser. Seriously, I don't care if he's a musician. Anyone who's completed elementary school knows basic multiplication. Is he a high school drop out? I don't think it's possible to be remotely intelligent and not know extremely basic stuff like that, unless you've been living under a rock or you're an idiot savant of some sort. Also, he said he had a feeling you're the girl he's going to marry without ever meeting you? Don't you find this a tad alarming?! C'mon, Sad. You can do wayyyyy better. Stop slumming! Did you meet him on match or OKC btw?
shadowplay Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 It's as if you think that because you can't get the kind of guy you want, you should consider settling for someone who has nothing going for him. That's black and white.
bobdole Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 I wouldn't count on star gazer's situation to be the norm. It can happen but I think it tends to go the other direction.
threebyfate Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Have you ever analysed what these "hot" guys represent to you?Hey SaCWA, can you answer this question? I have a theory which relates to my own negative trigger.
gypsy_nicky Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Why generalize when there is so much specific detail to consider here? Although this may be a first, someone saying that male musicians want to run into marriage quickly. Nice switch from the normal groupie accusations. imo not much specific detail. Impulsivity can come in different sorts of form. Be it wanting to be committed straight away to a stranger or having numerous sexual relations 'groupies'. Or your point may be valid in a way that the dude may be scouring for women and fronting with the image of a decent catch.
kalikula Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Blah Blah Blah weve evolved..Its overanalyzing genders,most people are paired up pretty equally wit htheir partner in terms of looks Good argument... You really made a great rebuttal by simplying brushing my statement away with "blah blah blah". Maybe you should consider becoming a layer. Although I think most people are on relatively similar attractiveness levels, I think it's more common for the girl to be hotter than the guy in relationships. I agree you can do way better. If he seems compatible to you in every other way then maybe you could compromise on the attractiveness factor.. Obviously you don't wanna settle but sometimes you have to compromise some factors for others. (IE To me it's very important that a guy have a deep masculine voice and be a little muscular at least, but I'm willing to compromise on height and how cute his face is..) But that doesn't seem to be the case here, don't settle for him, he doesn't sound like a catch. Saying that he thinks you guys are going to get married actually sounds kinda creepy.
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