It's been 4 days, and I feel something for her I've never felt

[skydiveaddict]

The best thing last night? She fell asleep on me and took my jacket and slept with it. It was cute as all hell, so I left the jacket with her .

 

 

 

Be careful man. I'm glad you're having the time of your life but dont go too fast.

[Engadget]

Be careful man. I'm glad you're having the time of your life but dont go too fast.

 

I'll be careful. I've been single since January and was convinced I couldn't find someone like this, so I'm just extremely happy.

 

I'm still a realist, and it could not work out. However this goes beyond anything I've felt, and I don't think that will happen. Even if it didn't work out, I'm going to enjoy the ride every step of the way.

 

I recently took on a new perspective in life, just going with the flow and doing what makes me happy. I was bummed and depressed for a while over my situation, now I got a job and a girl I really like, I'm just going to enjoy being happy. Frankly I didn't think I could be happy like this, so I'm just glad I can be this happy again.

[Maggotface]

I honestly do hope she feels the same way. If you can help it, don't get too crazy about her, would hate to see you get hurt if things dont work out.

[Brady_to_Moss]

OP where in NE are you? MA area?

[Mary3]

You should have a strong foundation before you start sleeping together..

[Engadget]

You should have a strong foundation before you start sleeping together..

 

I would usually agree 100%, but this time proved me wrong entirely. I was posting about how I like to wait for sex because it allows me to get to know them. That's why we waited a day for intercourse, but we just couldn't handle it and were all over each other that second night.

 

 

OP where in NE are you? MA area?

 

Yes sir!

[confused192]

This is such a great, happy thread to read. Congratulations, that is wonderful!!

[InceptorsRule]

We're not officially dating so we can get to know each other even more but we agreed we'll accept each other's flaws as we go along.

 

OK please excuse me for not understanding the implications of the bolded phraseology but you have to understand I live in a time warp in which dating women other than my wife ceased to exist 20 years ago.

 

So you're making a distinction between having sex with someone, which you seem to think is something with this gf already more than just sex, and "officially dating." Does this mean that you're not exclusive with each other? That you have not agreed to present each other to the outside world as "a couple"? Are you allowed to publicly call yourselves "gf" and "bf" yet? (LOL I guess in the past that would have been called "going steady" or something?)

 

What exactly does it mean or signify to be "officially dating"? What are you actually doing with her NOW if it is NOT "dating"? Whenever I socialized with a woman I always thought of it as a "date" even if it was just getting together at her place or my place.

 

Does it mean you both are still "allowed" to "date"/"have sex with" other people?

 

If so why are you even TALKING about this whole thing being anything more than some kind of FWB/f-buddy relationship?

 

Agreeing to accept each other's flaws? In juxtaposition with the not officially dating comment, does this mean if she cheats on you, you'll overlook it? What other type of "flaw" could you possibly be talking about?

 

Of course if you're not "officially dating" then I guess if she meets some other guy in some other bar when you're not around, takes him home and licks his lollipop including a happy ending and swallows, it's not "officially cheating."

 

Oh brother. Man why are you already "falling in love" with some bar skank you've only known for four days who you don't even know well enough that you're prepared to "officially date" and commit to being "exclusive" with each other?

 

I may be reading this entirely wrong but basically it sounds that while you like each other well enough you both still want to have your "freedom." Except the problem is with where your head is at, and the overtly sexual way she behaves with strange men, YOU are far more likely to "get hurt" than she is.

 

I hope things work out for you but frankly it does not sound like it is going to end well.

 

Realistically just how long do you think a girl like this, who is NOT willing to be exclusive with you and be your official girlfriend--in fact it is kind of strange/alarming that SHE has not yet insisted up exclusivity with YOU-- even having already sampled your awesome wares, is going to get "restless" and you will find out she has been chowing down on some other dude's cream-filled corn dog?

 

I give it two weeks to perhaps 30 days max before the stuff hits the fan.

 

Any takers on an over/under?

[InceptorsRule]

This girl I met at the bar last Thursday and ended up in bed with her

Dam* she didn't even make you take her out for a nice dinner on Saturday night first.

 

Edit: LOL oh right in order for her to go out to dinner with you, you'd actually have to be "dating."

 

Full disclosure: I met my wife in a bar. And we didn't really wait that long to have sex. And actually she was pretty aggressive. However we didn't do the deed on the first date, it might have been the third although I really can't remember. And I did take her out to a movie and dinner on the first date, so I guess we were "dating" before we had sex, although I don't know if it was "offical dating" or just the "amateur" kind of dating. Also I'm not sure when "exclusivity" came up, if ever, explicitly. But I sure as he*ll never agreed to "accept her flaws" sight unseen before knowing what they even were. I ended up accepting the more serious flaws sight UNseen as she decided not to tell me about them.

Edited August 16, 2010 by InceptorsRule

[Engadget]

OK please excuse me for not understanding the implications of the bolded phraseology but you have to understand I live in a time warp in which dating women other than my wife ceased to exist 20 years ago.

 

So you're making a distinction between having sex with someone, which you seem to think is something with this gf already more than just sex, and "officially dating." Does this mean that you're not exclusive with each other? That you have not agreed to present each other to the outside world as "a couple"? Are you allowed to publicly call yourselves "gf" and "bf" yet? (LOL I guess in the past that would have been called "going steady" or something?)

 

What exactly does it mean or signify to be "officially dating"? What are you actually doing with her NOW if it is NOT "dating"? Whenever I socialized with a woman I always thought of it as a "date" even if it was just getting together at her place or my place.

 

Does it mean you both are still "allowed" to "date"/"have sex with" other people?

 

If so why are you even TALKING about this whole thing being anything more than some kind of FWB/f-buddy relationship?

 

Agreeing to accept each other's flaws? In juxtaposition with the not officially dating comment, does this mean if she cheats on you, you'll overlook it? What other type of "flaw" could you possibly be talking about?

 

Of course if you're not "officially dating" then I guess if she meets some other guy in some other bar when you're not around, takes him home and licks his lollipop including a happy ending and swallows, it's not "officially cheating."

 

Oh brother. Man why are you already "falling in love" with some bar skank you've only known for four days who you don't even know well enough that you're prepared to "officially date" and commit to being "exclusive" with each other?

 

I may be reading this entirely wrong but basically it sounds that while you like each other well enough you both still want to have your "freedom." Except the problem is with where your head is at, and the overtly sexual way she behaves with strange men, YOU are far more likely to "get hurt" than she is.

 

I hope things work out for you but frankly it does not sound like it is going to end well.

 

Realistically just how long do you think a girl like this, who is NOT willing to be exclusive with you and be your official girlfriend--in fact it is kind of strange/alarming that SHE has not yet insisted up exclusivity with YOU-- even having already sampled your awesome wares, is going to get "restless" and you will find out she has been chowing down on some other dude's cream-filled corn dog?

 

I give it two weeks to perhaps 30 days max before the stuff hits the fan.

 

Any takers on an over/under?

 

We're exclusive to each other, but not going by boyfriend and girlfriend for now. It's been 5-6 days now, we've spent time together all day since last weekend.

 

We both feel very similar to each other and I explained if she has sex with anyone else, I walk. That's always my rule, and I'm realistic enough not to get hurt. I spent 6 years with a woman who cheated and lied, I'm not an idiot.

 

Spent a lot of time with her friend and roommate, her roommate's child and other friends of hers and mine. The simple fact of introducing her to my friends is a huge step for me, it usually never goes that far.

 

We talked about how many partners we've had, and had in depth conversations about ourselves and got to know each other.

 

There's a lot of negativity on this site towards when things are going well, guess it took me not being negative to see it!

 

This between me and her is different, and it's good. I'm living life according to new rules, and I'm actually happy. I'm being impulsive, upbeat and not letting **** get to me. If it's bad, it rolls off my back and I continue on unabated.

 

It works for me, probably wouldn't for everyone though. I worried, got sad, got depressed and hated life. My life was complete ****, and now it's not and she showed up at the perfect time in it to experience the real me. Not the depressed **** head I was.

 

Life's too short. If you're not happy, change it.

[WalkInThePark]

Only because I've never done the whole PDA thing.

 

What is PDA?

[InceptorsRule]

What is PDA?

 

 

 

"Personal Digital Assistant." You know, like a Crackberry.

 

 

[Actually in this context "PDA" = "Public Displays of Affection."]

[InceptorsRule]

OK Gadget now I think I get it--

 

you're like Zorba the Greek.

 

Good luck, you have a great philosophy of life if you can actually manage to pull it off.

[Star Gazer]

I like to wait for sex because it allows me to get to know them. That's why we waited a day for intercourse...

 

Oh wow! A whole day! Now that's WAITING!!!

[NancyBotwin]

Engadget, that is WONDERFUL! I probably could have written your OP when I met my husband. I am a cautious and untrusting person by nature, but this man walked into the room, and I just KNEW. I would have been so destroyed had he turned out to be a jerk. Yay for me, he was not! We are like two peas in a pod!

 

We moved rather quickly, except for full-on sex, which we didn't have until a month in. We were engaged after 5 months, eloped at 8 months, been married for 3 years and still feel and act like newlyweds. You are probably too young for that, but I definitely know where you are coming from. Sometimes, it just feels RIGHT.

 

Enjoy!

[Jilly Bean]

Engadget - you're pretty new around here, so it's a lot easier to remember your threads than others.

 

And as someone pointed out on your sex thread, there is a definite pattern to your dating.

 

You have had a few threads that start out with you saying you met someone that you have intense physical chemistry with, how unusual this is, how the woman is pretty dominant and aggressive, and then you point out that you normally like to wait for sex, BUT, this gal broke through your boundaries and forced sex on the first date.

 

Then you proceed to detail the even more intense emotional connection, even though you have known each other a few days.

 

It's lather, rinse, repeat. Same situation, same type of girl, same type of dynamic, same type of result.

 

Hey - we all can agree that the butterflies of meeting someone new is wonderful. Everyone has enjoyed and loves that feeling.

 

However, I hope one day you can look back and realize how absurd these imagined "connections" actually are for you. You claim you know each so well, you forge a "commitment" of exclusivity within days, etc. - and all of this is simply comical, but not in a funny kinda way.

 

Your pattern for dating isn't one that is setting you up for success, as you basically date in reverse.

 

You meet someone, get hit with a hormonal tsunami, jump into bed and "exclusivity" within hours or a day, and then spend weeks getting to know her, while it all slowing putters out when you realize you don't actually like her or you are in fact, quite incompatible or, shocker, that she's simply NOT who you thought she was.

 

You seem to let sex cloud all sound judgement, which is never going to yield good results. One day I hope you realize that a girl who swallows your cum within hours of meeting you, and then begs for you to have unprotected creampie sex is a royal mess on her own, and is someone that *most* guys would avoid. It's like you convince yourself that she is only so sexual with YOU, which must translate to some type of emotional connection, and the truth is - slutty girls are slutty with EVERYONE, and you're not special, nor are you the only one. I just don't think you have the ability to discern quality from trash quite frankly, and I think it's because these girls feed your insecurity desperate need to feel loved, so you don't want to see the reality of the situation.

 

Bottom line, you seem to meet women, and rather than date and get to know them at a normalish pace, you convince yourself within hours that this is the woman for the longterm and you are magically in a relationship. This isn't how anything with real traction works, and once you figure that out and stop with this immature "we've known each other four days and we're soooo right for each other" lifestyle, you might actually meet someone of value and who has the potential for the long term.

[Engadget]

Well it's only happened twice, and there was no exclusivity with the last girl and that was only physical. Even the physical part was nothing compared to this anyway.

 

It's really not the same, but I guess it's hard to explain to people you don't know.

[tigressA]

Engadget, I want to be happy for you, but it's hard. I tend to agree with what JB's said here, and I also feel like I can relate to you. All of my dating exploits over the last 9 months or so have been a lot like the things you've gone through recently. A very intense physical connection, but then things ended up burning out quickly as we realized we weren't very compatible, or we didn't want the same things, etc. I jumped into bed with guys I'd spent less than 24 hours with in real life, feeling like there was real potential there, then having it end a week or two weeks or a month later. Really, just be careful.

[Mary3]

Engadget : I only recall a few of your past posts regarding women but the sex was fast . Now if you aren't interested in anything long term , I suppose that should work out fine...

 

But if you are looking for a meaningful relationship then I think you have it a little backwards Its get to know them first and then exclusitivity . ( sp )

 

So by your definition you are sexually exclusive as per your post :" If she sleeps with someone else, I walk. "

 

You don't know how clean she is , if she pays her bills on time , how she feels about abortion , what her blow level is in a fight , her anger in heated debates. You won't see that for weeks...

 

The foundation level comes with many weeks of getting to know her and says " Wow, I have no hesitation sleeping with this girl I care for very much " But you don't know her enough yet to say that .

Right now you have the high of what your brain and body are directing you

to do.

 

I have to ask why isn't she saying " Woah buddy I barely know you . Hours on the phone and walks in the park are not enough. I would like to get to know you before I give that part of myself to you "

 

Could it be the spice thing you were looking for has been there with the last two girls . You know the kink side ?

[bac]

Congrats on that!

Did she have an orgasm or multiple Os? How do you know that?

Does she have a beautiful face and slim hot body?

[Star Gazer]

I'm really curious for an update...

[Mary3]

I'm really curious for an update...

 

If they are doing Rabbit behavior it might be hard to make it out of bed

 

But remember E , too much sex too early , and what else do ya have ?