josyjosy Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 So I met this guy not too long ago. We hit it off right away and talked a lot. A friend of mine said that he wanted to ask for my number but I still seem to be really into my ex and he doesnt want to be a rebound. I dont know how he found out about my ex because i didnt mention my ex at all until he asked me about it. Anyway, on Monday, my friend planned a triple date for all of us. So when they took me home, the guy asked if I want him to walk me to my house and i said "if you want." so he did. He finally asked if i was doing anything after work the next day and i said no so he said "do you want to try to do something tomorrow after your work?" and i said yeah. he asked for my number too of course. next day he texted me and asked if i still wanted to do something and i said "yeah sure" so we did. We had dinner and just talked. Im not sure if it was a date. We did talk the entire time we were together. Nothing personal, just casual random stuff- school, summer plans, after college plans, vacation, etc. We were out from probably 6-9? When he took me home and was about to leave he said "i'll call you tomorrow or i'll facebook you since you're always bored at work." then i dont know what happened. i got all nervous and accidentally and jokingly said "well you're not obligated to" i remember saying it playfully. I forgot his reaction to it but before he really said bye, he just said again "i'll call you tomorrow" and i just said "ok. *smiled* get back safely" Next day comes and he doesnt call. Now typical girl reaction, im overanalyzing what happened the night before. Did i not open up enough? Was it wrong that i said "well you're not obligated to?" Did he feel like i wasnt answering his questions? And all that stuff. So yeah it's been 4 days.. What does it usually mean when a guy says he'll call but he doesnt? Im definitely not calling him. But should i send a text or facebook comment/message?
Jilly Bean Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 the guy asked if I want him to walk me to my house and i said "if you want." he said "do you want to try to do something tomorrow after your work?" and i said yeah. he texted me and asked if i still wanted to do something and i said "yeah sure" he said "i'll call you tomorrow or i'll facebook you since you're always bored at work." i said "well you're not obligated to" he just said again "i'll call you tomorrow" and i just said "ok. Seriously, hon? Is this the extent of enthusiasm and interest you showed? Because if it is, do not wonder another second why he won't be calling you again.
Author josyjosy Posted August 15, 2010 Author Posted August 15, 2010 Seriously, hon? Is this the extent of enthusiasm and interest you showed? Because if it is, do not wonder another second why he won't be calling you again. Hi Jilly Bean, Of course I said a whole lot more than what I quoted. This is literally just a super short summary. I just didnt feel the need to post every exact word i said to him that night and how i responded when he asked me to hang out. Also, some are through text.
Blade Runner Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 (edited) josyjosy, Of course I said a whole lot more than what I quoted.[/Quote]We don't know that. If you're posting quotes or things you said, you don't need to give us every single word you said but you need to give us some kind of indication of the mood or general tone. Things like "ok" "if you want" etc is very short and sharp and he might just presume you're really not that into you. Of course it depends on how you said it too. So it's been four days and he hasn't been in contact. You could go nuts thinking about it, or you could just send him a friendly text asking him what's up. There's nothing wrong with that. If you haven't contacted him in nearly a week, there's absolutely no problem in just seeing how things are with him. Just go ahead and send him a message. Don't be so afraid to initiate things, why do you have to wait for him just because he said he'd do something? People say they'll do stuff all the time, and a lot of the time they don't follow through. Maybe he's not that keen on you, maybe he's just taking it really slow and doesn't feel the need to rush, or maybe he's been in hospital all week with a broken arm and three broken fingers....Who really knows. There are so many threads like this one, "oh no he hasn't called!". So call him! What's the big deal? As long as you're not harrasing the guy or texting him every five minutes asking him why he hasn't called, it's all good. If he's interested in you -- he'd probably call if he said he would, but even if he didn't, and you call him, he's not gonna suddenly lose interest. If a guy likes you, he likes you. Edited August 15, 2010 by Blade Runner
zengirl Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 You've displayed little enthusiasm. He already thought you weren't over your ex. He probably thinks there's little point in calling you. Not sure why he said he would, but maybe he just thought better of it.
that girl Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 If you like him, call/facebook him and suggest you meet up again. But stop working so hard to seem casual and it sounds disinterested. So when they took me home, the guy asked if I want him to walk me to my house and i said "if you want." so he did. Even if he wasn't a date, I think you should say either "Thank you" or "Thanks for the offer but I'm okay." "If you want" is borderline rude. We were out from probably 6-9? When he took me home and was about to leave he said "i'll call you tomorrow or i'll facebook you since you're always bored at work." then i dont know what happened. i got all nervous and accidentally and jokingly said "well you're not obligated to" i remember saying it playfully. In future, just say "Great!"
dispatch3d Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 "do you want to try to do something tomorrow after your work?" "try to do", try implies failure. I almost think he may need you to show more interest so that he invites you to more stuff. Anyways, I agree you probably didn't show enough interest in him to encourage him to continue to date you. You're languaging of yeah, okay, etc. even if different than what you used in person, shows an overall meh attitude. You don't say things like Great! or use any ! in the entire op, or even write enthusiastically. This makes me think you weren't acting like that in person either. Personally I specifically use the word "okay" in situations where I don't want to agree with a particular thing, know I'm obligated to, so use an "okay" as a non-commital answer (ie. a non-answer).
xpaperxcutx Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 So 4 days and he hasn't contacted you? He's not interested. Either that or you gave off a vibe that you're really g enthused during the date. Send him a hey, whats up text and see if he responds. If he doesn't, chalk it up to poor timing and delete his number.
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