D-Lish Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I love dogs. I'd totally walk my friend's dog, male or female if I wasn't busy. Some people might see it as a suspicious act, but I'd extend the favour to someone I wasn't romantically interested in.
carhill Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 LOL, I think the dog-walking part has concluded OP, no worries about the law. Possession is 99% of ownership. For all they know, she's the psycho-b!tch from America
Author maxil Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 thanks for the help. heading to bed. got to wake up early to do some stuff tomorrow. Thanks again for all the help from everyone that posted. and goodnight. Will keep you guys informed /updated on what happens. My heart goes out to each and every one of you.
Curious-One Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Damn bro i know that had to hurt. Just give her stuff back and dont ever answer her text or call . Move on, just imagine that its a good thing you found about her cheating ways before you wasted more time with her or even worse got married and had kids. ON TO THE NEXT ONE.
phineas Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I've thought about doing that. but like. Can't I get in trouble with the law even if I was busy and couldn't get her, her stuff while she visited? Just put her crap in a box or two & leave it, with a friend or two on your front porch. Lock the doors no admittance. If she claims something is missing she can leave a description with your friends & she can come back the next day. They will have it for her. If it actually existed. But, most importantly, get the F out of dodge. Let them deal with her. I did it for my friend. I stayed behind to deal with wonder C#$t while my other friends took him to the candian ballet.
Author maxil Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 arg just woke up what do you mean by get the F out of dodge?
phineas Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 arg just woke up what do you mean by get the F out of dodge? Go some where else. Don't be anywhere close by where you would be tempted to drive over. She's dead to you now.
Green Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 MAXIL DO NOT LET HER STAY AT YOUR PLACE... SERIOUSLY leave town and stay at a friends house for the entire time she will be there. That girl had the nerve to store crap at your place and then make you spend LOTS of money because you were not aloud to stay with her when you visited... this girl could have given you an STI that would stigmatize you for life... heck she might have got pregnant and tricked you into paying child suport for some other guys baby and had a good laugh about it. Dude sell or trash her stuff and don't ever talk to her. Leave town if you can and just lock up your doors and windows. Here's what happened before he showed up This only adds to my origninal sentiment that she was cheating which acording to the UPDATES... I was right... but really I don't even recomend people find proof because even if she wasn't cheating (which of course she was) then what was the point. My gut feeling was she was seeing her ex. And when she left to see the *dog* i called his cell and asked for her.. She was there.. I pretty made her confess [and she confessed to everything{cheating emotionally/sexually} after saying that I had proof,etc].. Told her she's a whore and I'm taking first plane back. Told the guy that he sure got a nice "prize" cause I don't want her anymore. Acted all calm. she rushed back to her place, cried/broke down, and still had the nerve to ask if I won't tell anyone. I called a whore again, told her I'm going to give her 2 days to tell me what to do with her stuff at my place in toronto [or else I burn it all/chuck it out] Booked a taxi, changed flight and gtfo. Back in toronto now. Still a bit broken down when I think about it . But I'm better off without this cheater. EdiT: Thanks for all the replies, be it good or bad. What does "good or bad" mean. I just told it to you like it was, I knew she was cheating on you even before you discovered it. Really even if she hadn't have been cheatin on you she was just rude to tell you "you can't stay over you're a stranger" "you can't come to pick up the keys you're a stranger" its like wtf. In the future don't look for the smoking gun like a confession as you got here... Just pick up on the little fck you's and say good bye. I really don't know what went wrong. I got cheated on by her skinny highschool diploma ex... I feel so defeated. That's all I have left about this relationship. I guess I should stop dwelling on stupid things. I went wrong when you didn't fly home when she told you that you were a stranger and couldn't stay at her place... WHEN SHE HAS SHT STAYING AT YOUR PLACE... It went wrong when you just let her tell you sht like "You can't go to his place to pick up the keys you're a STRANGER" cmon man pick up on this stuff. I love dogs. I'd totally walk my friend's dog, male or female if I wasn't busy. Some people might see it as a suspicious act, but I'd extend the favour to someone I wasn't romantically interested in. Hahahahah You are so clueless D-Lish. Even going of the original post it was clear something was up. I just love how the women on this site act so blind. Real world women know better then to pull this crap that was pulled on you MAXILL
Fire Salamander Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Hahahahah You are so clueless D-Lish. Even going of the original post it was clear something was up. I just love how the women on this site act so blind. Real world women know better then to pull this crap that was pulled on you MAXILL D-Lish probably used the same line as the girl that screwed over the OP. I wonder just how many, "Dogs," she's walked so far?
carhill Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Some posters just respond to the OP and don't always read the whole thread. I have a feeling that's what D did. She's usually pretty spot-on in her assessments. This dog, for all intents and purposes, is done.
InceptorsRule Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Maxil, You live in Toronto, right? Put a note on your door to the gf that you've boxed her stuff up and spiked it right on top of this mother: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CN_Tower Just like my homey, Hancock.
InceptorsRule Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Some posters just respond to the OP and don't always read the whole thread. I have a feeling that's what D did. She's usually pretty spot-on in her assessments. This dog, for all intents and purposes, is done. So who let the dogs out?
meerkat stew Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Some posters just respond to the OP and don't always read the whole thread. I have a feeling that's what D did. She's usually pretty spot-on in her assessments. This dog, for all intents and purposes, is done. Agree, D-Lish is one of the good ones, lay off.
Author maxil Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 Here should be my second last update. Last 2 days I've been using a mediator to talk to her cause she really did come over to Toronto. They have made sure that I have no contact with her, etc. Planned when to take stuff, etc, etc until tonight. I met up with her and let her spill herself over. I told her that I don't care what she has to say. I have closure. I told her that she needs to see a psychologist and get her life in gear. [This is not from spite. We've been together for 3 years, I know her more than anyone. I've suggested it a couple times when she was near bottom. It's not something a BF can fix. Her family is rich but in shambles and every time something happens either related to her family or her own self-esteem, she gets unstable. Please don't judge me and say "You are saying that now, etc" I'm going to tell her tomorrow when she fetches her stuff She needs to get her life in line and that she should be alone for awhile and see a psychologist. I don't ever plan to talk to her again and that having a bf to always lean on made her always unable to fend her demons for herself. I'm going advise her breaking up with the man that isn't a man and try to find a goal herself cause a bf can't solve it.
Green Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Here should be my second last update. Last 2 days I've been using a mediator to talk to her cause she really did come over to Toronto. They have made sure that I have no contact with her, etc. Planned when to take stuff, etc, etc until tonight. I met up with her and let her spill herself over. I told her that I don't care what she has to say. I have closure. I told her that she needs to see a psychologist and get her life in gear. [This is not from spite. We've been together for 3 years, I know her more than anyone. I've suggested it a couple times when she was near bottom. It's not something a BF can fix. Her family is rich but in shambles and every time something happens either related to her family or her own self-esteem, she gets unstable. Please don't judge me and say "You are saying that now, etc" I'm going to tell her tomorrow when she fetches her stuff She needs to get her life in line and that she should be alone for awhile and see a psychologist. I don't ever plan to talk to her again and that having a bf to always lean on made her always unable to fend her demons for herself. I'm going advise her breaking up with the man that isn't a man and try to find a goal herself cause a bf can't solve it. Why don't you save the advice and just tell her she sucks. Really if it were me I wouldn't have even given her the stuff back. You should just throw it out or keep it and sell it.
carhill Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 'I feel betrayed and devalued. There is really nothing more to say. Goodbye' This presumes you actually wish to speak, something I wouldn't even consider. I strongly suggest that you do *not* consider giving her any sort of advice regarding 'her life'. Tell her, if anything, how her actions caused you to *feel* and, if you wish, say goodbye. Here's some advice. When you spot a lady whose family is in shambles, run. This experience is a really good life lesson. It's good information. You got it at an early age. I envy you. Some guys have all the luck.
meerkat stew Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Agree, don't lecture her, just get her out. If I were a robot in the 60s, I'd be swinging my arms going, "DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER!" right about now. JK, sounds like you are doing great. Get her out and done tomorrow though. We're rooting for you.
Author maxil Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 Yeah just woke up.. I left her stuff on the curb and will be out ~
SquidSquid Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Hey Maxil, Just wanted to say that I really empathize with you. A very similar thing happened to me recently with my ex who I had been living with for two years. All I can say is this: In the end it's much better to break all contact fast and clean, no matter how much you think it hurts, rather than draw it out with drama and more contact. I made the mistake of going the dramatic route and keeping contact with my ex when she cheated on me. Eventually she wore me down and convinced me she was *really* sorry, that she thought I was special, and that I should take her back. Less than a week after I took her back she cheats on me again. That ****ed me up hardcore, and I fell into a viscous cycle of hate and sadness. However, by hating her I was letting her control me. I couldn't date women or even get work done because my head was so consumed by thoughts of her. I called her and e-mailed her to vent, I informed all of our friends about what she did. It consumed my life, and even damaged some friendships(mutual friends of my ex and I). However, when I let go of my hate and became neutral about her, that's when my life really moved forward. This opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Now, my ex can't let go of what she did to me(and a previous ex...), she's still ****ed up and has to go to therapy. I'm off dating girls and having fun. Life is good.
Author maxil Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 (edited) Alright thanks for everyone's responses.. She came by at 3:00 pm around as I told her to pick up her stuff.. I made sure to get home at 2:50 pm.. and made a dvd out of all the pictures we had, etc... then I deleted everything off my computer, my cameras, my cell fone, etc. Told her she can do anything she wants with the dvd, that's all that's left. Then I helped her uncle's son load her stuff onto the van. She was crying the whole time... probably cause my grandfather was watching from the balcony window... and she was embarrassed but w/e. I really feel that seeing her and just acting normal around her made me recover faster. Like if I had no contact and didn't get that small chat with her; I think I'd just be hiding some anger... talking to her did set me back but I have no hidden anger anymore. I'm 85% to indifference and I'm happy Basically I was already getting over her 1-2 weeks before I went to visit her in Vancouver.. I guess that's why... the only thing that held me back is when I broke up with her, she defended her cheating and made it feel like our relationship of 3 years meant nothing. The chat revolved around her apologizing, saying that she did love me and couldn't let go.. I called her selfish and cheating makes her a whore but it's okay. Life goes on. Edited August 19, 2010 by maxil
BS76 Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 This thread is proof positive why men should always, and I mean ALWAYS, listen to their gut when it comes to this stuff. We pick up on all kinds of stimuli even if we can't cognitiviely interpret it. That feeling you get that something is amiss, but you can't really explain why you feel that way, that's just natures way of telling you something is wrong. The stimuli your hindbrain is picking up on is subtle cues she was giving you that she naturally did and didn't even realize she was doing. Not to mention her actions were contrary to her words in a sense and it was suspicious to say the least. Researchers found that in an infidelity study of couples in couseling where the men had trust and/or jealousy issues, when they asked the women to tell the truth privately and anonymously they discovered the men were actually something like 90% accurate in suspecting the women were cheating.
meerkat stew Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 This thread is proof positive why men should always, and I mean ALWAYS, listen to their gut when it comes to this stuff. We pick up on all kinds of stimuli even if we can't cognitiviely interpret it. That feeling you get that something is amiss, but you can't really explain why you feel that way, that's just natures way of telling you something is wrong. The stimuli your hindbrain is picking up on is subtle cues she was giving you that she naturally did and didn't even realize she was doing. Not to mention her actions were contrary to her words in a sense and it was suspicious to say the least. Researchers found that in an infidelity study of couples in couseling where the men had trust and/or jealousy issues, when they asked the women to tell the truth privately and anonymously they discovered the men were actually something like 90% accurate in suspecting the women were cheating. Couldn't agree more, particularly for men who are secure and don't typically have jealousy issues. There is a reason there are so few great female poker players. When I was younger, used to discount those "something isn't right" gut feelings as just nerves or jealousy on my part, and always suffered for it in the end. Each and every time in my life, 100%, when I have smelled smoke, there has been fire in dealings with women, and I can't say that about any other types of gut instincts with respect to career, family, friends or anything else.
SquidSquid Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Unfortunately I really have to agree with you BS76. Both times my ex-cheated on me she didn't fessed up to it, and I had to find out for myself. I had just come home from a trip to visit my family, hadn't seen her in weeks. I was really emotional and ecstatic to see her. She was well....acting like she was really happy to see me. But I could immediately tell something was wrong. It seemed that hidden under the superficially happy exterior was someone who was scared to death. It's hard to describe but when you have known someone for years you can pick up on gestural and vocal cues very easily.
phineas Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Couldn't agree more, particularly for men who are secure and don't typically have jealousy issues. There is a reason there are so few great female poker players. When I was younger, used to discount those "something isn't right" gut feelings as just nerves or jealousy on my part, and always suffered for it in the end. Each and every time in my life, 100%, when I have smelled smoke, there has been fire in dealings with women, and I can't say that about any other types of gut instincts with respect to career, family, friends or anything else. Same here. My gut told me my STBXW was cheating. It also went quiet & then months later it got noisy again. Guess what? She was having an on & off affair. My gut knew it. I every woman i've met since then who I'd made plans to go out with, my gut told me something wasn't right & was not the least bit surprised when they blew me off. The woman i've just started dateing said she wanted to take things slow & has flaked on me, but apologized & explained & the gut isn't making a sound when I surely thought it would. But i'm keeping my eyes open. it has been wrong on occasion.
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