Author temporaryvisa Posted August 15, 2010 Author Posted August 15, 2010 To me it seems kind of idiotic that the logical conclusion could be that "he does want a relationship, just not with you." ugh. look, i'm sorry, but i guess i didn't give enough details because none of these answers clicked with me at all. thanks anyway
Author temporaryvisa Posted August 15, 2010 Author Posted August 15, 2010 Tried to make it obvious but anyway--He definitely likes me. He came to my work on my break just to say hi the other week, and he did this twice and bought me lunch, one of those times! He is a great guy, and I still care about him. When I say he likes me, why is it hard for people to believe it? My original post says he likes me, and so shouldn't that change? if he just wanted sex, I could tell he can get a million different girls! TRUST ME. HE'S HOTTTTT. and he knows I'm basically a prude! Kind of a bad lay.
ViciousViolet Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 It seems to me I'm easily hurt. I can take a lot of crap from a LOT of people, but when individuals try to tell me that I imagined love or because I'm young I'm an idiot, or I'm worthy of a restraining order, I get pissed off. I just would have liked to hear some positive answers too. I apologize for coming off harsh, but you'll learn that sometimes tough love is the best. You can take the advice or leave it. If you feel like this is real, then go for it, just don't send him 12 texts again or go over-analyzing every little thing he says or does. He wants to take things slow, so respect his wishes and give him space.
dispatch3d Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 Sending a guy 12 underanswered texts is crazy. I don't think I'd ever send 3 unanswered texts. Sounds like you are just infatuated with him rather than in love. If I were you I'd try to reel back the emotions just a little. That said glad things are working out for you.
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 "take it slow" = minimum commitment As long as you know, understand and can abide by that you and he will be fine for the time being. That means no more text frenzies, no questioning him when you don't hear from him for a few days, etc. He already said he wanted space and he means exactly that: space. Let him set the pace, let him do the contacting - he will only stay at a pace where he feels comfortable, and right now he is comfortable with where things are. Do not try to push for more, or you will find him backing away roughly twice as fast as you are pushing forward. He likes you, no doubt about it. He just doesn't want more than what you have right now. Maybe he will eventually, but unless you keep his pace you won't have the chance to find out.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 That sucks so much that all your exes have been like that with you. He is not the type to play mind games, at all. I feel like it was a wrong decision to ask for advice here--Most people here are negative because of crap that's happened in their lives. Thanks anyway. Wow, nice of you to turn this on me. It's not about being negative, but seeing things for what they really are. Fine, your ex likes you, but then he wouldn't exactly just want casual right? I'm not saying he's even deliberately playing mind games, but people who don't know waht they want usually just like to string people along. Especailly in the relationships department, you want to be with him, but he's being casual about where he wants things to go. Obviously thats why you're on here right? To ask whether he wants to be with you? Half the time people will tell you are wasting your time because the more you pine for him the more unresponsive he is. You know, whatever happens, happens. But he's already being honest with you, he doesn't want serious. Can you handle that?
xpaperxcutx Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 A lot of you guys are incredibly negative eh? He texted me. We're hanging out soon. He knows me very much. We had sex very few times and it wasn't good at all for me and I wasn't very good at it. In fact, we might have had it four times in the span of our relationship. I am cool with it being casual. I think we can develop feelings for each other again. It all came rushing back to me, and it sucked that it didn't happen for him. But I know he's not using me for any sex, and he's such a nice, sweet, and decent guy--He does respect me very much. I'm happy that he texted me. I'm happy that I asked this question. Thanks! Okay so I just read this. Kudos for you. If you can handle casual all the better. None of us are being negative, but half the things you'd posted initially leaned toward FWB. Anyways good luck.
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