somedude81 Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 I'm a bit slow when it comes to reading a girl's signals. What are some things a girl would do when she wants a guy to kiss her? Does it matter what time the date is or what the activity was? Does alcohol make a difference?
Feelin Frisky Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 If she doesn't make it obvious and if she'll let you hold her close, ask her "may I kiss you?" I've never been told to get bent. ETA: Don't involve alcohol. You'll never have to second guess yourself or your partner.
Green Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Don't think about it so much just make sure you kiss her before the end of the date. If you see a good moment to kiss her then do it. But if the date is ending and you are saying goodbye then its "now or never" time and you just KISS. Best way in my opinion to know if a girl is ready for a kiss is to get really close and see if the girl feels comfortable being so close. Then you know she is probably ready. But for the most part you should just try to kiss a girl even if she doesn't seem ready because even if she dodges your kiss or says "no" as you are going in it shows her that you mean business. And then they go home and think about it and say to themselves "I will let him kiss me next time." If the girl doesn't like you at all then trying to kiss her will just bring about the inevitable. Holding off on kissing a girl never got a girl to like a man. Its not like a woman goes home after dates and says to herself "I love the way that guy never tries anything" I mean if they continue to go out with you its inspite of the fact you don't try anything not because of the fact you don't try anything. The only way not trying anything will work in your favor is if this was a girl you never had a chance with in the first place. But you can never know that so you still need to try.
Green Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 If she doesn't make it obvious and if she'll let you hold her close, ask her "may I kiss you?" I've never been told to get bent. ETA: Don't involve alcohol. You'll never have to second guess yourself or your partner. I agree with the if she is fine being close part, but I think its lame to say "may I kiss you?"
carhill Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 What are some things a girl would do when she wants a guy to kiss her? IME, she proactively places herself in close proximity. She usually looks directly into your eyes and sometimes glances down briefly. She may lick her lips, showing some tongue action (of course very subtly), leaving them a bit glistening. I dealt with your issue for many years. Finally, I came to the conclusion that, if it feels right and I want to kiss her, I just do. No hesitation. This, IME, gives her confidence, both in her attractiveness and my desire. It's actually comforting. Good luck
alexlakeman Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 alcohol? yes Asking if you may kiss her? NO.
USMCHokie Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Finally, I came to the conclusion that, if it feels right and I want to kiss her, I just do. No hesitation. This, IME, gives her confidence, both in her attractiveness and my desire. It's actually comforting. This is the key. But I agree with the close proximity. If she doesn't push you away, then you're good to go. For the first kiss, I almost always preface with a hug, which puts us in that close proximity. Then I just go for the kiss from there...
Feelin Frisky Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 I agree with the if she is fine being close part, but I think its lame to say "may I kiss you?" Suit yourself froggy. The first time I asked this, the girl said: "thank you for making it easy, that's what I like so much about you" after we came up for air. It just sounds a little lame and old fashioned but some girls are just as unsure as the OP about what and when. A strong squeeze and romatic eye contact can still feel awkward to her. If you ask with tenderness she'll consider it her idea. Doofus. I get the girl.
Green Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 IME, she proactively places herself in close proximity. She usually looks directly into your eyes and sometimes glances down briefly. She may lick her lips, showing some tongue action (of course very subtly), leaving them a bit glistening. I dealt with your issue for many years. Finally, I came to the conclusion that, if it feels right and I want to kiss her, I just do. No hesitation. This, IME, gives her confidence, both in her attractiveness and my desire. It's actually comforting. Good luck Good advice This is the key. But I agree with the close proximity. If she doesn't push you away, then you're good to go. For the first kiss, I almost always preface with a hug, which puts us in that close proximity. Then I just go for the kiss from there... This girl gave him a great hug to if I remember correctly. When she gave you that great hug on the first date that was your oportunity to move in for the kiss.
Gattica Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 I quite enjoy the hug then kiss scenario. It typically works well and I have been known to use that method in order to kiss the fella if he is taking too long to kiss me.
Author somedude81 Posted August 13, 2010 Author Posted August 13, 2010 Thanks for the posts guys, I really appreciate it. If she doesn't make it obvious and if she'll let you hold her close, ask her "may I kiss you?" I've never been told to get bent. ETA: Don't involve alcohol. You'll never have to second guess yourself or your partner. I really don't know about asking for permission. Actually I did do something similar, though mostly as a joke and she said no. Best way in my opinion to know if a girl is ready for a kiss is to get really close and see if the girl feels comfortable being so close. Then you know she is probably ready. But for the most part you should just try to kiss a girl even if she doesn't seem ready because even if she dodges your kiss or says "no" as you are going in it shows her that you mean business. And then they go home and think about it and say to themselves "I will let him kiss me next time." What does being really close mean? Is it just leaning against her or having my arm around her? Sitting down, standing? IME, she proactively places herself in close proximity. She usually looks directly into your eyes and sometimes glances down briefly. She may lick her lips, showing some tongue action (of course very subtly), leaving them a bit glistening. That's a great sign that even I can pick up I dealt with your issue for many years. Finally, I came to the conclusion that, if it feels right and I want to kiss her, I just do. No hesitation. This, IME, gives her confidence, both in her attractiveness and my desire. It's actually comforting. Good luck My experience with kissing is so poor, I can't tell when the best time is. It does make sense that "no hesitation" is needed. For the first kiss, I almost always preface with a hug, which puts us in that close proximity. Then I just go for the kiss from there... I quite enjoy the hug then kiss scenario. It typically works well and I have been known to use that method in order to kiss the fella if he is taking too long to kiss me. What's the best way to do a hug kiss? I assume it's a tight face to face hug. How much time do I have to go for it? What do you do if the girl is a few inches shorter?
Green Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Cmon you don't need to ask all these questions... JUST DO IT. You know your biggest obstacle is yourself so don't worry about "how close is close" and "when the best time is" just DO IT.
USMCHokie Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 What's the best way to do a hug kiss? I assume it's a tight face to face hug. How much time do I have to go for it? What do you do if the girl is a few inches shorter? Heh, it doesn't require a specific hug... When you've hugged and pull apart, don't let go of her...then look into her eyes, then her lips, and go for the kiss...
Author somedude81 Posted August 13, 2010 Author Posted August 13, 2010 Cmon you don't need to ask all these questions... JUST DO IT. You know your biggest obstacle is yourself so don't worry about "how close is close" and "when the best time is" just DO IT. Sorry Kermit, I do need to ask, it's in my nature to be curious. As I said in a different thread, it's been a very long time since I even tried. When you've hugged and pull apart, don't let go of her...then look into her eyes, then her lips, and go for the kiss... I like that. It's something I can use.
Green Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Sorry Kermit, I do need to ask, it's in my nature to be curious. As I said in a different thread, it's been a very long time since I even tried. It seems to be in your nature to OVERTHINK things. I really think your best bet is to just do it! Use the getting close thing... but in the end YOU SIR have a mind that plays tricks on you. FEAR will come and you will have to FACE YOUR FEAR and JUST KISS HER ALREADY. Do you have another get togather planned? Because you really should try to plan something.
carhill Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Watch Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint here. Classic. She can caress my ear lobes any day
Author somedude81 Posted August 13, 2010 Author Posted August 13, 2010 (edited) Yeah, I also, most certainly over-think things. I'm trying to think of every possible situation and the proper move to make and even then fear gets in the way. I tried to make plans with her this weekend over text but she told me that she was busy this weekend. I'll contact her either on Sat or Sun to try and set something if she doesn't contact me first. Even then I don't know what to do with her. We've gone on a bike ride to the beach, got lunch twice and walked down the pier and sat on the grass. I know I need to do something where physical contact is ok then I can try and make my move. If I don't see her again, I want to use what I've learned on the next girl. Watch Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint here. Classic. She can caress my ear lobes any day Thanks for that example. So it is a very intimate hug and hands on her hips (could also be lower back) while looking down at her. Edited August 13, 2010 by somedude81
counterman Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 There's nothing like the rush from kissing, especially the first time. That anticipation builds with light touching and held eye contact. All you need to do is press your lips against hers and the deed is done.
Psymon Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 It looks like you've got a lot of great advice in this thread. For me, everything works when I don't over think things. Do I like her? Am I drawn to her? Do I desire to kiss her in that moment? If yes, I do it. It doesn't really matter (for the most part) what signals she gives me. It doesn't even matter what her response will be...I'm not doing it for her, I'm doing it because I'm moved to do so.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 (edited) OP, based on what I've read about you and how you've responded to the advice offered so far, I have a strong hunch that you'll need a "lead in" to make you feel better/more confident about initiating the first kiss. a buddy of mine handed me this gem and it works like a charm; I'll explain why but these are the words: "close your eyes." now, as many have said previously, you'll have to be engaged physically somehow first - close proximity, holding hands, after a long hug, or what have you. here's why it works (ladies feel free to back me up here), because women are waaay more romantically aware than most men - what I mean by that is EVERY woman can follow that translation. "close your eyes" = he's about to kiss me, and I know it. typical outcomes: 1. she closes em. which means she WANTS you to kiss her - trust me. 2. she says "how come?" or "why?" - she still knows what's coming and is either a little shy about kissing you too or she doesn't want to be kissed yet. At this point, you look at her again, in her eyes and say it again "you heard me, close your eyes". smile a bit too. again, she knows what's coming. if she closes em, give her what she wants. 3. she says some variation of "no", both times - she's not ready; but yes, she knew what you were doing. a tactful woman that still likes you will use humor to diffuse this, if she's not ready. I.e. say something like "no way, you're gonna run away, huh?" or "it's a trick, I know it; I'm not THAT trusting of you just yet, haha". in any event, this lead in is bro tested and bro approved; use it well. Edited August 13, 2010 by ConflictedGuy27
Green Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 OP, based on what I've read about you and how you've responded to the advice offered so far, I have a strong hunch that you'll need a "lead in" to make you feel better/more confident about initiating the first kiss. a buddy of mine handed me this gem and it works like a charm; I'll explain why but these are the words: "close your eyes." now, as many have said previously, you'll have to be engaged physically somehow first - close proximity, holding hands, after a long hug, or what have you. here's why it works (ladies feel free to back me up here), because women are waaay more romantically aware than most men - what I mean by that is EVERY woman can follow that translation. "close your eyes" = he's about to kiss me, and I know it. typical outcomes: 1. she closes em. which means she WANTS you to kiss her - trust me. 2. she says "how come?" or "why?" - she still knows what's coming and is either a little shy about kissing you too or she doesn't want to be kissed yet. At this point, you look at her again, in her eyes and say it again "you heard me, close your eyes". smile a bit too. again, she knows what's coming. if she closes em, give her what she wants. 3. she says some variation of "no", both times - she's not ready; but yes, she knew what you were doing. a tactful woman that still likes you will use humor to diffuse this, if she's not ready. I.e. say something like "no way, you're gonna run away, huh?" or "it's a trick, I know it; I'm not THAT trusting of you just yet, haha". in any event, this lead in is bro tested and bro approved; use it well. I think this coulw work well if used properly... but really the OP just needs to KISS her. Even if she doesn't close her eyes just go in for the kiss.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 I think this coulw work well if used properly... but really the OP just needs to KISS her. Even if she doesn't close her eyes just go in for the kiss. you're a huge advocate for kissing on first dates, Green (and rightfully so IMO). it's funny cause I was on this date last Friday and thought of how if you were spectating you'd be like KISS HER ALREADY! DO IT! lol. I hesitated a bit and had to down shift from 'just do it' to "close your eyes". my approach is a bit more methodical, for me at least, so such a move made me feel back in control. but correct you are, my friend; after the 1st kiss is in the bag, the relationship instantly evolves - the intent is out there, leads to more kissing, petting, etc. Green's on point here, OP. kiss her. however you make it happen, just be sure it happens.
jthorne Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Just do it, OP. Give it all ya got. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Good to see you dating, CG. I've been wondering about you.
Green Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 you're a huge advocate for kissing on first dates, Green (and rightfully so IMO). it's funny cause I was on this date last Friday and thought of how if you were spectating you'd be like KISS HER ALREADY! DO IT! lol. I hesitated a bit and had to down shift from 'just do it' to "close your eyes". my approach is a bit more methodical, for me at least, so such a move made me feel back in control. but correct you are, my friend; after the 1st kiss is in the bag, the relationship instantly evolves - the intent is out there, leads to more kissing, petting, etc. Green's on point here, OP. kiss her. however you make it happen, just be sure it happens. Well on the first date I think it is fine for the girl to reject the KISS attempt by either dodging it or saying something like "not yet." That should be respected if a girl doesn't want to kiss. But the fact still remains that you TRIED to KISS her and if she goes on a second date with you... the you have that second date with the confidence that she has gone out with you again KNOWING that you will try again. If you don't even try... you risk making yourself seem SCARED and that is unattractive. The OP still might have a chance with this girl, BUT its not because he didn't kiss her. No girl says "wow this guy is just so friendly and doesn't try anything romantic its really making me want him." Basicaly if things work out it will be in spite of his screw ups. In the end when you end up with the a good GF it usualy is a girl who gave you lots of room to screw up but kept with you anyways. I encourage the OP to use your tactic if he likes it, but in the end he needs to just move in and TRY to kiss her no matter what. I mean I don't know if the girl realizes it but this is the THIRD DATE
homersheineken Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 I agree with the if she is fine being close part, but I think its lame to say "may I kiss you?" Yes, very lame to ask.
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