Dblock10 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 been on the date, got "the" txt same evening afterwards (had a nice time etc etc), i reply, was good etc, we should meet again. when do you hear back from them? a day? two days? or does the girl txt you that out of politeness after a date?
zengirl Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 True story: Some girls text out of politeness or change their minds. But I don't think you should ever assume that's the case. What good does that do? It really depends on the girl. She may be waiting for you to ask her out again. "We should meet again" doesn't count. You have to be specific. Many, many girls will be and will never initiate a date early on or even come close to it. Some even balk at much encouragement, as they have these whole schemes for how to assess interest and provoke commitment. It makes my head hurt, personally, but it is what it is.
Author Dblock10 Posted August 12, 2010 Author Posted August 12, 2010 True story: Some girls text out of politeness or change their minds. But I don't think you should ever assume that's the case. What good does that do? It really depends on the girl. She may be waiting for you to ask her out again. "We should meet again" doesn't count. You have to be specific. Many, many girls will be and will never initiate a date early on or even come close to it. Some even balk at much encouragement, as they have these whole schemes for how to assess interest and provoke commitment. It makes my head hurt, personally, but it is what it is. well it would be good if she at least txtd back from my reply! so should I txt again and "be more specific" or just leave it now and wait to hear back.. i was planning on leaving it and waiting for a reply
zengirl Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 well it would be good if she at least txtd back from my reply! so should I txt again and "be more specific" or just leave it now and wait to hear back.. i was planning on leaving it and waiting for a reply The truth is she might've seen that as either a brush off. OR simply seen it as a low-interest way of communicating. Especially if you're young and/or she's young. I'm not saying I agree with this, but it happens ALL the time.
Author Dblock10 Posted August 12, 2010 Author Posted August 12, 2010 The truth is she might've seen that as either a brush off. OR simply seen it as a low-interest way of communicating. Especially if you're young and/or she's young. I'm not saying I agree with this, but it happens ALL the time. she is young yeah. i am 24. Argh what to do. so after the first date the guy is supposed to txt them and sound reallly interested. cause i would have thought that would put them off big time. one side of me is saying txt again, the other is saying dont as it will come across as desperate/needy. if she wants to txt me she will.
zengirl Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 she is young yeah. i am 24. Argh what to do. so after the first date the guy is supposed to txt them and sound reallly interested. cause i would have thought that would put them off big time. one side of me is saying txt again, the other is saying dont as it will come across as desperate/needy. if she wants to txt me she will. The best thing would've been to seem firm, assertive, and cool after the first message and say something then. Either setting up another date when she texted you, or if you want to "play it cool" for whatever reason, telling her when you want to set up another date and saying you'd call her then. Then doing it. Really, women I know (same age range--I'm 25) don't generally want men who are wishy washy about setting up dates any more than they want men blowing up their phone or being free every night of the week. It isn't needy to ask for another date if you know you want one. It's assertive. That's my view. Just don't say, "Hey, want to go out again tomorrow" or something. Then. . . you kind of have no life.
jadedone Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I'm in kind of the same boat. Good time on date last night. No contact last night after the date. She goes to bed early because of her job. Today I sent a text around 11am saying I had a good time last night. No response yet, but I don't really expect one while she is at work. On the plus side she has not logged into her online profile in 2 days.
Author Dblock10 Posted August 12, 2010 Author Posted August 12, 2010 (edited) ok i heard back, but she didn't bring up meeting up again just casual things.. so is this what i do now or do i play it cool and reply casually also? or will she be expecting me to initiate a second date proposal ? jaded1. just wait man, she sounds busy. she will contact you again Edited August 12, 2010 by Dblock10
zengirl Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 If you want to go out with the girl again, just ask her out. This is NOT needy. It is normal and assertive. Needy is if you feel the need to confirm the date or talk to her every day in between. Make a date, confirm the date the day before if it's far away or something, show up to the date, and hang out with the girl. This really isn't hard. You're going to seem needier and weirder trying not to look too needy than just asking the girl out.
jadedone Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 jaded1. just wait man, she sounds busy. she will contact you again I"ll wait, i'm not stupid. Just starting to feel annoyed that I got no response at all. Obviously by this point she saw the message.
oss91 Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Just send her another message (or even better, call her) and say you'd like to take her out sometime next week, when is she available? Don't worry about coming across as needy or desperate or any of that b.s. Quit overthinking, easier said than done, I know. If you are straightforward with her and ask her out and have conviction in your voice, you coming across as needy will not enter her mind. She will think you are confident and a man who knows what he wants and is going to get what he wants. That's an attractive asset. Or, you could always wait for her to text. Which may never happen.
sugarmomma Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Pick up the phone and call her. You will be able to tell a lot from her tone of voice as opposed to a text. Texting has screwed up communications especially in dating.
Author Dblock10 Posted August 13, 2010 Author Posted August 13, 2010 (edited) she txt me back we have been talking through txt's but i want to meet her again so I am going to ask her out again and see whats what. i always wait for her to txt me, i never txt first. so if she txts me i will be polite and respond. if she then doesnt return the txt i will leave it and wait until she does. As I know she is interested at this point i dont need to worry or overthink anything from my experience younger girls prefer txting so i wont call. Edited August 13, 2010 by Dblock10
Cuccoon Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 For goodness sake, ase her out! If she is txting back and forth I'm sure she's interested. I'm also guessing she's waiting for a clear invitation. As female, I hear "we should hang out again" as general interest, but I'll wait for the invite in case the guy is just being polite. Once you invite her to something specific, you'll get your yes or no. Waiting for her is just going to confuse you!
Psymon Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Hi Dblock, While I understand your reluctance to call her, you're keeping everything cloudy, unclear, murky. It also seems like you're protecting yourself from a possible rejection, which is ok short-term, but it's preventing you from showing this woman that you're interested in her. I would pick up the phone and call her, not text her, and ask her out. At least you'd know where you stand at that point, and you're not sitting waiting for a reply.
Author Dblock10 Posted August 14, 2010 Author Posted August 14, 2010 For goodness sake, ase her out! If she is txting back and forth I'm sure she's interested. I'm also guessing she's waiting for a clear invitation. As female, I hear "we should hang out again" as general interest, but I'll wait for the invite in case the guy is just being polite. Once you invite her to something specific, you'll get your yes or no. Waiting for her is just going to confuse you! ok guys n girls, its on! I am taking her out again.
gsly Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 well it would be good if she at least txtd back from my reply! so should I txt again and "be more specific" or just leave it now and wait to hear back.. i was planning on leaving it and waiting for a reply i've been in the same position..i would wait a day or two and see if she says something..if not just txt her outta the blue with your plans..catch her off guard
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