buzzie2 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 When it comes to dating, how important is it to guys in their late twenties and early thirties that the girl never had children? I'm talking about guys who have never had children of their own. I know a lot of guys who only agreed to go out with me after first asking if I was a single mom. This one guy asked me once if I had any kids and when I said no he looked relieved. Is it because they want children of their own or just don't want to be responsible for someone else's chlld?
mr.dream merchant Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Me personally, both. Plus, a single mom is likely to be a woman with baggage. So if I can have another woman without baggage, I'll go for it.
somedude81 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 There's also the third reason that for any woman who has kids, her kids will always be number one to her.
2sunny Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 There's also the third reason that for any woman who has kids, her kids will always be number one to her. and the father of the child(ren) will always be in the picture.
Feelin Frisky Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I just want a woman to make it known. It sucks after two months or so of seeing her and getting down to "binness" that she's so free because gramda is taking care of her son or daughter elsewhere. This happened to me when I was in my mid 20's and I felt like I would be an ogre to now just back out and dump her. Eventually after a few years she left me partially to resume bringing up her secret. It irks me still that I didn't have this knowledge on or before our first date. I doubt I would have let things get so deep that it would break her heart to get "off-loaded". True, I didn't want responsibility for someone else's kid. Now I'm old enough to see women who have grown kids. That's OK, as long as she doesn't look like those kids have put so much mileage on her. Sue me who doesn't like it.
Engadget Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Pretty important, it's kind of a deal breaker unless she's an exceptional woman.
Woggle Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Single moms usually come with a ton of baggage that is bad for a relationship.
Pyro Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 It wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me but like any relationship I would always be alert for any red flags. Yes alot of single moms just want a guy who can support her and her kid(s), can have drama with the ex, etc. but there are still many single moms out there who are normal.
Sabali Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I don't mind it all. Have kids, don't have kids...it's all the same to me. I come from a family with a lot of kids running around and I have a great time seeing them running around and playing during family gatherings. I can always see some part of myself when I was a kid through them. In my last longterm relationship, the woman had a son who was spoiled rotten and he would just talk to her like she was some kid. I was thinking Ok, this kid is going to be a problem. Fortunately, we developed a strong bond after I laid down the law. Gotta love the kids...
Woggle Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I am sorry if this does not apply to you but most single mothers are one of these. 1.Women who constantly dated jerks and got a couple kids out of the deal 2.Women who purposely became single who believe fathers are nothing more than useless sperm donors. They are out trying to show the world how independent they are and are generally misandrists. For the most part it just brings a host of issues.
Pyro Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I am sorry if this does not apply to you but most single mothers are one of these. 1.Women who constantly dated jerks and got a couple kids out of the deal 2.Women who purposely became single who believe fathers are nothing more than useless sperm donors. They are out trying to show the world how independent they are and are generally misandrists. For the most part it just brings a host of issues. women you have come across do not represent the majority. Very few women would purposely become single. Raising a kid is expensive and requires two incomes.
Woggle Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 women you have come across do not represent the majority. Very few women would purposely become single. Raising a kid is expensive and requires two incomes. Read the article on AOL about Jennifer Anistons comments and look at the comments from women. Some good insight into how many of them view men and fathers.
carhill Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 OP, you might find this thread instructive. TBH, other than stbx, I never met a woman who didn't have kids. They breed young out in the country where I live
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 When it comes to dating, how important is it to guys in their late twenties and early thirties that the girl never had children? I'm talking about guys who have never had children of their own. I know a lot of guys who only agreed to go out with me after first asking if I was a single mom. This one guy asked me once if I had any kids and when I said no he looked relieved. It's pretty important. Say a 6 or 7 out of 10. Not an absolute dealbreaker, but she'd have to have everything else going on really well. Is it because they want children of their own or just don't want to be responsible for someone else's chlld? Either could be the case, or possibly some guys just don't like kids.
djhall Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I would say it is faily important to many guys, and particularly important to young guys, because you aren't just commiting to a relationship, you are committing to an instant family with children that were not raised from birth with you as daddy and with whom you don't have that biological link. That requires a man who is mature, secure, stable, loving, giving, and accepting enough to be willing and comfortable making the jump from single guy to instant husband and father. A lot of guys, particularly young guys, are just not mentally and/or emotionally open and mature enough to take on that kind of relationship.
Pyro Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Read the article on AOL about Jennifer Anistons comments and look at the comments from women. Some good insight into how many of them view men and fathers. locate it for me.
Woggle Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 locate it for me. Read these comments and see what many women truly think of you. http://www.popeater.com/2010/08/11/bill-oreilly-jennifer-aniston-video?icid=sphere_aol_popeater This is one of the few times I have agreed with O'Reilly.
mr.dream merchant Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I would say it is faily important to many guys, and particularly important to young guys, because you aren't just commiting to a relationship, you are committing to an instant family with children that were not raised from birth with you as daddy and with whom you don't have that biological link. That requires a man who is mature, secure, stable, loving, giving, and accepting enough to be willing and comfortable making the jump from single guy to instant husband and father. A lot of guys, particularly young guys, are just not mentally and/or emotionally open and mature enough to take on that kind of relationship. I mean, lol, why would you when you could have another without all of that baggage? Hmm, do I want a used Escalade with stains and tears on the seats, or a new one that's fresh, and wasn't used and abused? Guess I'm just a jerk huh? "Too hard on these women MDM, fall back!" Lol..nah, in life you get what you want, not settle for something less.
carhill Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Wogs can take a look and see if this is the article. The link points to the comments page, which is currently at 1188. You'll have to wade in; it's typical blog stuff. I saw some nasty comments to a current SAHD on page five. I'm sure he saw others, or it's different article. Edit .... OK, correct article...
mr.dream merchant Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Wogs can take a look and see if this is the article. The link points to the comments page, which is currently at 1188. You'll have to wade in; it's typical blog stuff. I saw some nasty comments to a current SAHD on page five. I'm sure he saw others, or it's different article. Wow, a SAHD? Must've been some bitter tired and busted ass broad who flamed him. SAHD's always get my salute, they are definitely a rare find.
carhill Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Situational SAHD who lost his job and went domestic. I get tired of reading blog comments so didn't follow the train.
Pyro Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Read these comments and see what many women truly think of you. http://www.popeater.com/2010/08/11/bill-oreilly-jennifer-aniston-video?icid=sphere_aol_popeater This is one of the few times I have agreed with O'Reilly. Thats a heck of alot of comments that I will not read through. Personally I think Jen is a bit bitter because she has hit 40 and has yet to find a keeper, but also her comment can be interpreted many different ways. I think that she means that if a woman can't find a good guy but wants a kid that she still can have a kid. A kid needs a male role model though.....for the most part. My Dad wasn't much of one and I am doing just fine. OK back on topic.
djhall Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I mean, lol, why would you when you could have another without all of that baggage? Hmm, do I want a used Escalade with stains and tears on the seats, or a new one that's fresh, and wasn't used and abused? Guess I'm just a jerk huh? "Too hard on these women MDM, fall back!" Lol..nah, in life you get what you want, not settle for something less. It is possible a man is looking for a life partner to share his family and future with, and therefore he may be looking for someone he believes is unique and special to him rather than simply an "interchangable female unit". Therefore, if he finds that unique and special woman and it turns out she has children that come as part of the package, SOME men might find they like both the woman and the child and can see a life with both of them that doesn't seem like "settling for something less". But, as I said, it takes a certain level of mental and emotional maturity to be a man who is capable of both understanding and taking that leap.
Woggle Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Another article with a bunch of women trashing men. http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/08/11/bill-oreilly-jennifer-aniston/ Yet of course I am crazy when I say that deep down most women are misandrists. This is what they think of us guys.
BlackLovely Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Another problem with women who've had kids is that sex is pretty much like throwing a sausage down a hallway. Thank you!! I raised this issue during a thread about childfreedom. Everyone laughed and said it wasn't true, except for one husband who admitted it.
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