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Posted
What are you on about?

Im sure you can figure it out..

Posted
Im sure you can figure it out..

 

I can't because I haven't said specifically that your boyfriend has settled for you. He probably does prefer you to thinner women, more power to the both you, he is of course a rare exception.

 

There's a reason why FHM do not photograph Beth Ditto and other larger celebrities and there's a reason why Rachel Hunter, Carmen Electra and Jessica Biel will appear on the front cover for instance.

Posted

 

As for your boyfriend, only he can know how he feels, but I'm sure he would have found the thinner ladies he rejected more sexually attractive than you, but he was looking for the whole package and he had to compromise and chose you.

 

.

 

Yes you did.......

Posted
He probably does prefer you to thinner women, more power to the both you, he is of course a rare exception.

 

There's a reason why FHM do not photograph Beth Ditto and other larger celebrities and there's a reason why Rachel Hunter, Carmen Electra and Jessica Biel will appear on the front cover for instance.

 

Thanks for that...Yes there is its because its what the media tells us we must admire and it works quite well...

Posted
Yes you did.......

 

Yes, I said he got the better deal for himself. He wanted the whole package (which is what every man and woman wants), unless you are the exception?

 

 

Thanks for that...Yes there is its because its what the media tells us we must admire and it works quite well...

 

No, it's not. The media caters to our wants and needs, it always has done. The reason Beth Ditto is not in swimsuit magazine is because hardly any men in the world find her attractive. Fat girls just aren't as attractive to the average man as a slender woman.

Posted
Yes, I said he got the better deal for himself. He wanted the whole package (which is what every man and woman wants), unless you are the exception?

 

You also said he had to compromise and choose me... to me thats the same as saying he settled for me. Again a play on words and while I do enjoy a lively conversation as much as the next guy its 6:45am so I'll pass on picking it apart any further this time.. lol

 

 

 

No, it's not. The media caters to our wants and needs, it always has done. The reason Beth Ditto is not in swimsuit magazine is because hardly any men in the world find her attractive. Fat girls just aren't as attractive to the average man as a slender woman.

 

I disagree that said I do respect your view as well I will agree that men who like larger women are def in the minority. I could get into why I think they are but thats another thread.

 

Ok im off to bed take care nice talking to ya you seam smart just try to keep a some what open mind.. ;):D

Posted
My opinions are facts.

 

What's particularly silly is not the fat women who claim they are "OK" with being fat; it's their insistence that everyone else be OK with their fatness, too.

Posted (edited)
My opinions are facts.

 

I know 7 year olds who understand the difference. I'm sorry no one ever taught you better. Nobody's opinions are facts. The two words are opposites.

 

Will Smith and his wife.

Tom Hanks and his wife.

Steven Spielberg and his wife.

Eva Mendes and her boyfriend.

Antonion Banderas and his wife.

 

There are lots and lots that have worked out.

 

Half those people have been divorced. Logic fail. :) Besides, Spielberg is not attractive to most people, as celebrities go, nor is Tom Hanks. Frankly, Tom Hanks's wife wouldn't stop a lot of traffic. They're closer to "normal looking" celebrities if ever there were ones. Also, believe it or not loads of ugly and/or fat people have stayed happily married too. I know, shocking, right?

 

There are no studies that show one's fitness or level of conventional beauty help them build more successful marriages. I'd be interested in seeing such a study conducted, and it might actually show the opposite (that beautiful people are less likely to work out differences), but I've no idea. I don't think anyone will ever conduct one.

 

It is a fact, not an opinion.

 

Sphere has claims that are backed by irrefutable evidence. It's called reality, look around you.

 

Why do relationships fail all the time? It's because humans are always looking for greener pastures.

 

What if I made a claim that women like jerks and to be ravished in bed?

 

Is that an opinion? It's an objective statement because it's clearly evident women DO stay with jerks who ravish them in bed.

 

It's one thing to make outlandish claims. Yet It's another when your claims can be backed up by an intangible proof.

 

People are always moving on to bigger better things, and women stay with jerks.

 

Those are facts of life. You can either accept it or stay in denial.

 

I'm right and you're wrong.

 

Most people who are looking for a better situation with relationships don't leave because of looks, especially if they've been with the person long enough to get married. Maybe some do, sure, but it's not the majority. Most marriages break apart because the people can't stand to live together anymore due to value issues or lifestyle issues -- it generally has little to do with weight or beauty.

 

Also, pointing out that some people do some things is not the same as saying most/all/90% of people do something. If I say, "Everybody wishes they were wearing a green shirt because some people like to wear green shirts and many people own them" I am making a claim with similar logical failings. Some people will do many things, including feel like they're settling or stay with jerks. It doesn't mean the majority do any such thing.

 

Also: There is no such thing as "intangible proof." Look up what words mean for goodness sake. You're abusing them.

 

I was born many yesterdays ago, but nowhere have I ever implied gorgeous women and men have longer lasting relationships.

 

All I said is that a vast majority of men want the typical Hollywood woman and not a chubby woman.

 

I'm not entirely sure of what the vast majorities want, and I wouldn't claim to know without seeing a study. Generally speaking, the people in Hollywood are stars because they are seen to be conventionally attractive to most people. I'll say that.

 

That said, I don't feel like I'm settling if I don't marry a fellow who looks like Christian Bale. It's the extreme you take the attitude to that makes it absurd. I don't disagree that many men would rather screw Jessica Alba than Brooke Elliot, but that doesn't mean (a) No one finds Brooke Elliot attractive, and (b) Any man who dates/marries her is settling because he isn't screwing Jessica Alba. Believe it or not, it may be possible for a man to find them both attractive! I won't even call anyone who finds Brooke Elliot more attractive a liar, because I know different people like different things. It may not be the majority, but I'm sure it happens.

 

A vast majority of people do settle for what they have and no one deserves to treated that way, just as no one deserves to settle. I'm not saying "everyone needs to hook up with the most gorgeous man or woman", but you need to aim high in this life and get the right person for you, that doesn't mean settle. My friend's elder brother admits he has settled with regards to his wife and it's because she gave him two children that he has remained with her.

 

This attitude stinks and is plain wrong, but it's not rare, it's very common.

 

You are saying that by saying aim high, and suggesting that has something to do with sleeping with Hollywood beauties.

 

I think comparing other people in such ways when looking for a mate is woefully unhealthy. Of course, you should be attracted to the person you marry, but it's not about finding the "best" person, most attractive person, etc. It's about finding the person who is right for you and who you love and want to stick through all the massive crap life will throw at you with.

 

Staying with someone only because you have kids DOES suck, and I'm against it. Marrying someone you aren't attracted to DOES suck. There's a difference between "I'll be upset and settling if I'm not attracted to my wife," and "I'm settling if I'd rather be screwing Megan Fox" --- and frankly, neither are good attitudes. The latter displays immaturity about human relationships, and the former is pretty normal. And, you know, if you fall in love with someone, you might rather be screwing them than Megan Fox no matter what they look like. Love is a funny, funny thing.

 

What's particularly silly is not the fat women who claim they are "OK" with being fat; it's their insistence that everyone else be OK with their fatness, too.

 

I don't think anyone here was doing that in terms of saying everyone else needs to be OK and date them and treat them as beautiful. I do think we should treat all people with the kind and decency that human beings deserve, and there's no need to try to "convert" people of any size.

 

I've yet to see a gal in this thread try to make fellows who don't want to date fat women, though it seems like that's how some men take this. I think mostly the issue is when men try to tell other people all the reasons they shouldn't date fat women and why fat women can't ever have happy relationships and stuff, none of which is really true. If a gal is struggling with dating because of her weight, and not trying to lose any, well, then there's an issue. If a gal is happy with her love life, why do you need to attack it? Let other people like what they like. Live and let live.

 

I don't date larger guys, but I don't understand not being okay with their existence. So, if you mean "okay" in that way, I think it's pretty reasonable for everyone to think other people should be okay with their existence in the world. That level of tolerance is kind of expected of everyone.

Edited by zengirl
Posted
I don't date larger guys

 

You mean "fatter" guys.

 

Wow. You talk about men having issues about dating fat women--and you can't even bring yourself to say "fat."

 

The guys you won't date aren't "larger."

 

They're FAT.

Posted
You mean "fatter" guys.

 

Wow. You talk about men having issues about dating fat women--and you can't even bring yourself to say "fat."

 

The guys you won't date aren't "larger."

 

They're FAT.

 

Actually. . . I don't date fat men or large men. I have said the word fat before, but it doesn't happen to encompass the whole of it. There are some large men who are considered fit and such by some, and I've never been attracted to that either. (Think anyone in a football game.)

Posted
Actually. . . I don't date fat men or large men. I have said the word fat before, but it doesn't happen to encompass the whole of it. There are some large men who are considered fit and such by some, and I've never been attracted to that either. (Think anyone in a football game.)

 

LOL, OK, but the topic of this thread is about "fatness" and its dating implications, not "largeness" other than the kind of "largeness" that is related to "fatness."

 

Obviously MOST people would tend not to date others who are completely out of proportion in size to them.

 

And most non-skill-position football players would probably be considered obese, even if also "fit" for football purposes. How many football players have you actually seen up close? Skill position players like qb's, running backs, defensive backs, and wide receivers can be in great shape and really cut, and they're not all 6 foot plus giants.

 

Try it maybe you'll like it. (I'm not a football player myself by the way.)

Posted
What's particularly silly is not the fat women who claim they are "OK" with being fat; it's their insistence that everyone else be OK with their fatness, too.

You don't have to be ok with it heck I don't care if you hate me thats your cup of tea! But if your going to come at me in a ignorant manner then expect im going to do the same in return.

 

Were have I insisted that people be ok with my "fatness"? all I did in this thread was try to show that men can be attracted to all different type of women thats all.

 

If you see that as me being silly then ok but I find your comments trump mine by far in that category. Now I sugest you wipe your screen down so my hideous fat cells can't some how seep thu and infect your perfect little world LMFAO..:lmao:

Posted

 

I don't think anyone here was doing that in terms of saying everyone else needs to be OK and date them and treat them as beautiful. I do think we should treat all people with the kind and decency that human beings deserve, and there's no need to try to "convert" people of any size.

 

I've yet to see a gal in this thread try to make fellows who don't want to date fat women, though it seems like that's how some men take this.

 

Exactly you hit the nail on the head they just can't/won't distinguish the difference between a overweight person saying "hey wait a min thats not right we can be happy" and us saying "hey im fat and wonderful you MUST there for want to date me or ill give you hell buddy" big differance!

 

I don't care if they don't want to date me I have a good man and were happy but when people discount our relationship just because of their own shallow narrow minded views it dose erk me cause guess what im human just like them.

 

Not trying to be rude and nothing agents thin people but are there not enough thin women for these men? That they need to obsess about this stuff? Or dose it simply piss them off that they can't have what/who they want yet I am happy how dare me! makes you wonder..:rolleyes:

  • Author
Posted
LOL, OK, but the topic of this thread is about "fatness" and its dating implications, not "largeness" other than the kind of "largeness" that is related to "fatness."

 

WRONG. You people seriously need to read.

 

This thread is about the discrepancy between the aesthetically-ideal weight and the medically-ideal weight range and speculations about why this is or is not the case.

 

Please bring comments about medically-overweight people, obese people, settling, yadda yadda to other more relevant threads.

 

Something tells me to not even bother checking back in my own thread anymore since it's derailing like a train off a cliff. Seems like lots of people zoom in to keyword 'Weight' in the title, then click in and spout off their irrelevant personal vendetta without bothering to even read the OP.

 

To those who responded on topic, thank you.

Posted

I couldn't care less if someone is fat, if they are happy then by all means carry on. What I dislike is being told I am shallow if I don't find fat women attractive, and this isn't from fat people themselves, it's mainly from thinner women who feel they have to champion their cause, yet get upset if a fat woman gets the bloke they want. :lmao:

Posted
LOL, OK, but the topic of this thread is about "fatness" and its dating implications, not "largeness" other than the kind of "largeness" that is related to "fatness."

 

Obviously MOST people would tend not to date others who are completely out of proportion in size to them.

 

And most non-skill-position football players would probably be considered obese, even if also "fit" for football purposes. How many football players have you actually seen up close? Skill position players like qb's, running backs, defensive backs, and wide receivers can be in great shape and really cut, and they're not all 6 foot plus giants.

 

Try it maybe you'll like it. (I'm not a football player myself by the way.)

 

First of all, aren't you all about not being converted to dating fat women? Why try to convert someone else. I'm well aware at what a football player who is not the biggest/fattest looks like. Maybe the kicker is small enough to suit my tastes. I like either very slim, tall fellows or guys around 5'8'' of toned or small builds, in general. If I found a larger fellow I was attracted to, I'd date him. It's not like a core value or anything. I just don't happen to dig those guys.

 

Second of all, this thread is about people who are of a medically healthy weight (or was supposed to be) but aesthetically "unappealing" to some/the masses/whatnot. I think my feelings about large guys factor in there. That said, I have some friends who love those guys and would much rather date them than date the fellows I find most attractive! I don't say, "Are you crazy?" I just accept that people like all sorts of different things.

 

I couldn't care less if someone is fat, if they are happy then by all means carry on. What I dislike is being told I am shallow if I don't find fat women attractive, and this isn't from fat people themselves, it's mainly from thinner women who feel they have to champion their cause, yet get upset if a fat woman gets the bloke they want. :lmao:

 

Hmm. . . I suppose it is "shallow" in a way, but, really, I don't think anyone is immune from that kind of shallowness (no matter what they like) in dating. Nobody dates a personality ALONE and has a happy sex life. That doesn't mean everyone is attracted to the same things or has the same views on it.

 

What I think is shallow is if someone dates purely by looks. Meaning nothing else matters----they just want the hottest person they can find, and they don't care if they've nothing to talk about. I'd find that shallow. And silly. And not particularly interesting. But I still wouldn't care if they did it, so long as I wasn't the girl they had such lame interest in and they weren't lying about it.

Posted
You don't have to be ok with it heck I don't care if you hate me thats your cup of tea! But if your going to come at me in a ignorant manner then expect im going to do the same in return.

 

Were have I insisted that people be ok with my "fatness"? all I did in this thread was try to show that men can be attracted to all different type of women thats all.

 

If you see that as me being silly then ok but I find your comments trump mine by far in that category. Now I sugest you wipe your screen down so my hideous fat cells can't some how seep thu and infect your perfect little world LMFAO..:lmao:

 

 

I think I was responding to one of the guys' posts, not yours.

Posted
This thread is about the discrepancy between the aesthetically-ideal weight and the medically-ideal weight range and speculations about why this is or is not the case.

 

You posted in the "Dating" forum.

 

So you're saying that the aesthetics have no effect on dating?

 

I thought that was the whole point.

 

If you weren't trying to make a discussion about the impact of people's attitudes towards overweight on dating, why post in the "dating" forum in the first place?

 

You don't have to answer LOL you just seem very angry for no discernable reason.

 

Peace out.

Posted
I couldn't care less if someone is fat, if they are happy then by all means carry on. What I dislike is being told I am shallow if I don't find fat women attractive, and this isn't from fat people themselves, it's mainly from thinner women who feel they have to champion their cause, yet get upset if a fat woman gets the bloke they want. :lmao:

 

 

This ties in to my point above. Telling someone they are shallow for not wanting to date someone else due to issues such as overweight, implies that if they adopt the overweight person's esthetic standards, then they will no longer be shallow. So this is a way for the overweight person to try to not simply accept themselves for who they are, but to insist that others accept them for who they are as well.

Posted
WRONG. You people seriously need to read.

 

This thread is about the discrepancy between the aesthetically-ideal weight and the medically-ideal weight range and speculations about why this is or is not the case.

 

Please bring comments about medically-overweight people, obese people, settling, yadda yadda to other more relevant threads.

 

Something tells me to not even bother checking back in my own thread anymore since it's derailing like a train off a cliff. Seems like lots of people zoom in to keyword 'Weight' in the title, then click in and spout off their irrelevant personal vendetta without bothering to even read the OP.

 

To those who responded on topic, thank you.

 

Haha they are completely ignoring your post

Posted
First of all, aren't you all about not being converted to dating fat women?

 

I never said I wouldn't date a fat woman. However, just because I would be willing to date a fat woman would not make her any the less fat, nor would it render her aesthetically superior to the same woman in a more fit package. There's a difference between dating someone in spite of a particular drawback and dating someone because of that drawback. If she's a great person and 20-30 pounds or more overweight, then it seems to me she'll be that much better if she drops the excess weight. Aesthetically, obviously, but also emotionally, because the notion of the prototypical "jolly fat person" is a myth. Laughing on the outside, but crying on the inside. Or on the internet.

 

 

Why try to convert someone else. I'm well aware at what a football player who is not the biggest/fattest looks like. Maybe the kicker is small enough to suit my tastes. I like either very slim, tall fellows or guys around 5'8'' of toned or small builds, in general. If I found a larger fellow I was attracted to, I'd date him. It's not like a core value or anything. I just don't happen to dig those guys.

 

First you used a euphemism, "bigger" or "larger" guys, simply because you didn't want to say "fat guys" the first time around. It's like stores for "Big and Tall" men, they don't want to say "fat boy store."

 

 

 

Second of all, this thread is about people who are of a medically healthy weight (or was supposed to be) but aesthetically "unappealing" to some/the masses/whatnot.

 

Unappealing because of their fatness. Not because of their "bigness."

 

 

I think my feelings about large guys factor in there. That said, I have some friends who love those guys and would much rather date them than date the fellows I find most attractive! I don't say, "Are you crazy?" I just accept that people like all sorts of different things.

 

You just don't want to come right out and simply admit that fat guys turn you off because then you'd have to be on "sphere's" side. LOL.

 

 

 

Hmm. . . I suppose it is "shallow" in a way, but, really, I don't think anyone is immune from that kind of shallowness (no matter what they like) in dating.

 

No, it's not "shallow" at all. You still don't seem to get the germane point, which is it is NOT "shallow" to have an aesthetic preference simply because the person you are aesthetically displeased by claims to be offended by your displeasure.

 

 

 

 

Nobody dates a personality ALONE and has a happy sex life. That doesn't mean everyone is attracted to the same things or has the same views on it.

 

LOL. You just don't want to admit how important being physically attracted to the other person is for dating purposes/sex purposes, because then you'll be on the "wrong side" of the discussion--the "shallow guys" side.

 

 

 

What I think is shallow is if someone dates purely by looks.

 

It may be highly inadvisable, because you can't judge a book by its cover oftentimes. But how is it "shallow"? People can and do lie about other aspects of their personalities, but it's awfully hard to lie about one's physical appearance, once seen. That's fundamental.

 

 

 

 

Meaning nothing else matters----they just want the hottest person they can find, and they don't care if they've nothing to talk about.

 

Why is it "shallow" to date only super hot people (if you can swing that)? Why not date only super hot people, if you can, and if you find a really great one in other respects, marry them?

 

Implicit in what you are saying is that somehow super hot people are generally less worthy then non-hot people w/respect to other personality characteristics. If you can back that up, fine, I'll wait.

 

 

I'd find that shallow. And silly. And not particularly interesting. But I still wouldn't care if they did it, so long as I wasn't the girl they had such lame interest in and they weren't lying about it.

 

You're pretty judgmental, why would you judge someone that way who uses extreme physical attractiveness as a minimum criterion for dating someone? Who's to say the super-attractive are any less worth dating than ugly people?

Posted
I never said I wouldn't date a fat woman. However, just because I would be willing to date a fat woman would not make her any the less fat, nor would it render her aesthetically superior to the same woman in a more fit package. There's a difference between dating someone in spite of a particular drawback and dating someone because of that drawback. If she's a great person and 20-30 pounds or more overweight, then it seems to me she'll be that much better if she drops the excess weight. Aesthetically, obviously, but also emotionally, because the notion of the prototypical "jolly fat person" is a myth. Laughing on the outside, but crying on the inside. Or on the internet.

 

 

 

 

 

Do people seriousely think like this? so im supose to be happy on the outside but crying on the inside? OH MY! I must have missed the memo :lmao: again all this post is saying is that men will settle for fat women witch isent always the case even tho it seams set in some peoples minds eh ok if you say so :rolleyes:

 

Fat FATTTT fatt fat fat fat fatt! Ill say the word I don't care doesn't bother me to a grain of salt because its a word its a label thats all it doesn't represent all of me who I am as a person. Heck you can call me bozo the clown if it works for you at the end of the day won't change me as a person one bit.

 

I would never say a guy who doesn't want to date overweight people should do so why? Its not his thing and more power to em I'll even defend his right not to want to date us. But all I will ask for is basic human decency I don't think thats to much to ask for I think thats the missing link half the time when this subject comes up..

 

Of course its not shallow to not want to date a overweight person its called having preferences and thats a basic human right however it is shallow to belittle them or their loved ones because you find their mere existence disturbing.

Posted (edited)
Do people seriousely think like this? so im supose to be happy on the outside but crying on the inside? OH MY! I must have missed the memo :lmao:

 

You know we should also give ourselves a post it noting that we are also supposed to hate all thin girls. I have also recently heard that we all pretty much eat whole sticks of butter which we wash down with buckets of grease from the deep fryer of the local Mc Donalds. Oh, and lets not forgot that we are supposed to be too lazy for simplistic 'chores' such as maintaining personal hygiene. Also I recently learned that we are all desperate sluts unless of course a man was desperate enough to settle which we will obviously jump at because we have no sense of self-worth...

 

 

Yep, so have we covered all the retarded stereotyping yet or did I not get it all? I just wanted to get the rest of it out of the way because I don't know about you but it gets so tiresome to hear that same nonsense parroted continuously every time the subject comes up as if it's never been said before or desperately needs repeating. It's enough to drive one to drink... alcohol and lots of it. (I'm saving MY grease for a special occasion.)

Edited by theBrokenMuse
Posted
Unappealing because of their fatness. Not because of their "bigness."

 

The OP's point was that not all large people are actually "fat" (as in medically unhealthy).

 

You just don't want to come right out and simply admit that fat guys turn you off because then you'd have to be on "sphere's" side. LOL.

 

I don't find fat men attractive. I've said that many times elsewhere.

 

That does not mean I am on Sphere's side. He seems to think anyone who dates fat people is settling. I don't agree with this or pretend to know what anyone else likes or doesn't like, personally, on an individual basis.

 

No, it's not "shallow" at all. You still don't seem to get the germane point, which is it is NOT "shallow" to have an aesthetic preference simply because the person you are aesthetically displeased by claims to be offended by your displeasure.

 

I don't disagree with this, which is why I put shallow in quotes. I don't care if someone calls me shallow for caring about looks, though. Everybody does somewhat.

 

LOL. You just don't want to admit how important being physically attracted to the other person is for dating purposes/sex purposes, because then you'll be on the "wrong side" of the discussion--the "shallow guys" side.

 

I've said like 1,000,000 times on this forum and even a few times in this thread that physical attraction is important. What I don't agree it is is entirely UNIVERSAL.

 

Why is it "shallow" to date only super hot people (if you can swing that)? Why not date only super hot people, if you can, and if you find a really great one in other respects, marry them?

 

Re-read. It's shallow to only date people for their physical appearance and nothing else, I said. If someone happens to only date "super hot people" I don't think that's shallow, if they are only interested in marrying the very hottest person they can find, regardless of other factors, that is shallow. They are placing their highest and basically only criteria on looks. I'm not accusing anyone in particular of doing that. I was just pointing out a distinction between shallow because of Sphere's post.

 

Implicit in what you are saying is that somehow super hot people are generally less worthy then non-hot people w/respect to other personality characteristics. If you can back that up, fine, I'll wait.

 

What? I think people should date people they like who they are sexually attracted to. I think I kind of AM a hot person. I certainly have nothing against beauty. I don't want to be with a man who wants me solely or mostly for my beauty.

 

You're pretty judgmental, why would you judge someone that way who uses extreme physical attractiveness as a minimum criterion for dating someone? Who's to say the super-attractive are any less worth dating than ugly people?

 

Uh. . . I use physical attractiveness (not sure about "extreme") as a minimum for dating someone. . . I find that perfectly normal. :confused:

 

I think it is unhealthy and pretty stupid as the sole or most important criteria, if you're looking to build a true relationship that might lead to marriage, etc. I think you missed the point of my distinction.

Posted
WRONG. You people seriously need to read.

 

This thread is about the discrepancy between the aesthetically-ideal weight and the medically-ideal weight range and speculations about why this is or is not the case.

 

Please bring comments about medically-overweight people, obese people, settling, yadda yadda to other more relevant threads.

 

Something tells me to not even bother checking back in my own thread anymore since it's derailing like a train off a cliff. Seems like lots of people zoom in to keyword 'Weight' in the title, then click in and spout off their irrelevant personal vendetta without bothering to even read the OP.

 

To those who responded on topic, thank you.

 

I've noticed a lot of trouble with reading comprehension around here.

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