SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 No, I wouldn't ignore you or treat you as inferior to me, I treat everyone with the same respect. Our relationship would be 100% platonic, because there wouldn't be an ounce of sexual attraction on my part. I'm just not into fat women. Just like there are women who aren't interested in short men, or bald men or white men or men with beards. Your boyfriend likes you for you and is sexually attracted to you, that's great and that's fantastic, but I'm sure if you asked him "would you rather sleep with Megan Fox or Nikki Blonsky?" He'll lie and will say "Of course Nikki, I would never be seen with Megan Fox", what he really desires is Megan Fox. Now, I don't, can't stand the wretch, but I'm showing you how men operate and how men think. Men are just as complex as women are, believe me. I def wouldn't be offended if he did say Megan fox that said tho I think your example is basically just saying hes really settling for me just in a different less offensive way im fat not brain dead after all lol. Its like some simply refuse to think some men would honestly say they would rather have Nikki they MUST be settling. Let me ask you this would he be settling if he said he wanted any other minority/variation of women other then the Megan fox model type? The other women he turned down was thinner then me so if he truly yearned for a thin women sexually why turn one down and date a larger one when given the choice at the exact same time? It just doesn't jive with your theory.. At the end of the day it really is each to his own I guess...
Sphere Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 90% of people end up settling which is why a vast majority of relationships and marriages do not last. As for your boyfriend, only he can know how he feels, but I'm sure he would have found the thinner ladies he rejected more sexually attractive than you, but he was looking for the whole package and he had to compromise and chose you. For me, a larger lady can have an excellent personality, she could be charming and she could a truly great person, but I couldn't be more than a friend to her. I couldn't get erection if she took her clothes off and if that makes me shallow, so be it, but I'm honest. And if there was a choice of being with a fat girl with a great personality, or a thin woman with a nasty personality, I'd chose a life of a bachelor.
zengirl Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 (edited) 90% of people end up settling which is why a vast majority of relationships and marriages do not last. As for your boyfriend, only he can know how he feels, but I'm sure he would have found the thinner ladies he rejected more sexually attractive than you, but he was looking for the whole package and he had to compromise and chose you. For me, a larger lady can have an excellent personality, she could be charming and she could a truly great person, but I couldn't be more than a friend to her. I couldn't get erection if she took her clothes off and if that makes me shallow, so be it, but I'm honest. And if there was a choice of being with a fat girl with a great personality, or a thin woman with a nasty personality, I'd chose a life of a bachelor. The whole concept of people talking about "settling" is silly. Nobody knows when someone else is settling, and I severely doubt it happens 90% of the time. You don't decide if anyone else in the world but you is settling, as I just said in another thread. Everyone likes different things. No one should settle for anyone they don't want to be with. No one should worry if anybody else thinks they're settling and "could do better" (unless they're in some sort of abusive, emotionally unhealthy cycle or something). Why can't you just let people like what they like? Some people might actively look for people of differing body weights. Other people might just dig people of all body weights or not even think of it and meet the whole person. People will do all sorts of things that seem strange and foreign to you. It doesn't mean they're all settling. Love isn't really about a checklist! I mean, I find neither gymrat abs, nor large teddy bear guys, sexy, in general, but I don't go around saying the women that do are lying or settling. Physical attraction is highly subjective and it has evolved over time. Who knows whether Henry VIII or Julius Ceasar would've wanted to screw Megan Fox? (I really have no idea.) Edited August 11, 2010 by zengirl
Sphere Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 So if people don't settle then why do their relationships and marriages not last? It's clear that these people aren't right for them and I bet you every man on the planet wants a gorgeous woman, granted I'd rather have Julia Stiles or Elisha Cuthbert over Megan Fox, they're still gorgeous women. You have to accept that a vast majority of human beings settle for mediocrity in their lives. Hence why billions of people are stuck in dead end jobs trying to make ends meet. Settling is what 90% of humans do.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 90% of people end up settling which is why a vast majority of relationships and marriages do not last. As for your boyfriend, only he can know how he feels, but I'm sure he would have found the thinner ladies he rejected more sexually attractive than you, but he was looking for the whole package and he had to compromise and chose you. For me, a larger lady can have an excellent personality, she could be charming and she could a truly great person, but I couldn't be more than a friend to her. I couldn't get erection if she took her clothes off and if that makes me shallow, so be it, but I'm honest. And if there was a choice of being with a fat girl with a great personality, or a thin woman with a nasty personality, I'd chose a life of a bachelor. Okie dokie then if you say so lol... I am overweight but I am realistic now there is a difference between that and dictating how others must feel based solely on my own likes/dislikes. I don't think you mean to be ignorant in this way but you cant seam to help it. Not that I want to get into his personals this much but he told me once hes not even attracted to thin women sexually. You know how you said your equipment doesn't work well neither dose his just in a different way. But im guessing your auto response to that will be hes simply lieing to me anyways. No ones saying that you have to like overweight women you keep trying to almost defend your preferences to the death please don't as you don't need to thats your right I would never second guess or disrespect it see im open minded enough not to put you down for it in anyway again a little respect can go a long way in this life.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 So if people don't settle then why do their relationships and marriages not last? It's clear that these people aren't right for them and I bet you every man on the planet wants a gorgeous woman, granted I'd rather have Julia Stiles or Elisha Cuthbert over Megan Fox, they're still gorgeous women. You have to accept that a vast majority of human beings settle for mediocrity in their lives. Hence why billions of people are stuck in dead end jobs trying to make ends meet. Settling is what 90% of humans do. Ok on the flip side why do so many Hollywood relationships also fail? I mean after all there beautiful people dating/marring other gorgeous people so life should be a fairy tale right?
zengirl Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 So if people don't settle then why do their relationships and marriages not last? It's clear that these people aren't right for them and I bet you every man on the planet wants a gorgeous woman, granted I'd rather have Julia Stiles or Elisha Cuthbert over Megan Fox, they're still gorgeous women. You have to accept that a vast majority of human beings settle for mediocrity in their lives. Hence why billions of people are stuck in dead end jobs trying to make ends meet. Settling is what 90% of humans do. You really do have a negative view of this planet, eh? Sure, some people do settle in relationships, and not just for overweight people. My father flat-out admitted he married my Mom to move out of his parents' house. She's thin and attractive. He later re-married my step-mother, who despite their issues, I'm 99% sure he really loved/loves (and he still wants her back). She was obese at the time and is still a size 14. He settled for the first real relationship he ever had, out of ignorance and a feeling of inertia, and then found actual love later. It didn't work out because he's a messed up fellow who pities himself and blames his problems on other people, but he really does adore her and is actively trying to better himself in order to get her back. I think most marriages don't work out because most people aren't emotionally healthy themselves, and dealing with the baggage and complex psychology of one human being is tough----when two collide for decades on end. . . well, it leads to some friction, so you better hope you picked a good partner who wants to roll with the punches based on more than just sexual attraction. (I'm not saying marry people you don't want to sleep with; I'm saying it's not about getting the sexiest person you can find.) This whole "Which celebrity would you rather have sex with?" has little to do with a mature, adult relationship. Also, plenty of people do jobs I'd hate that they find awesome, and many people think I'm "trading down" by going from a high-powered, well-paying job where I made my own hours, traveled bunches, got free stuff, and had social cache to being a middle school teacher for kids who need remedial reading. Really, I was "settling" more before, out of ignorance of who I really was and what I wanted to do----just going for what seemed like the best idea to others. That said, some people are in dead-end jobs (jobs they feel suck and will help them with nothing) because you have to have a job. Nobody should be in a dead-end relationship (that they know is dead-end) because nobody needs a relationship.
Sphere Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I'm stating facts, it's not being negative. It is me telling it like it is.
zengirl Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I'm stating facts, it's not being negative. It is me telling it like it is. They aren't facts. 90% of all statistics are made up, and 100% of yours in this thread are. You are stating opinions. Which is fine. But don't call them facts!
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 (edited) I'm stating facts, it's not being negative. It is me telling it like it is. No its you telling it as you see it big difference.. I will ask again.. Ok on the flip side why do so many Hollywood relationships also fail? I mean after all there beautiful people dating/marring other gorgeous people so life should be a fairy tale right? Oh I can also add they have successful mega paying jobs! wheres the automatic happy endings? Edited August 11, 2010 by SpanksTheMonkey
Sphere Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 No its you telling it as you see it big difference.. I will ask again.. Ok on the flip side why do so many Hollywood relationships also fail? I mean after all there beautiful people dating/marring other gorgeous people so life should be a fairy tale right? Oh I can also add they have successful mega paying jobs! wheres the automatic happy endings? Will Smith and his wife. Tom Hanks and his wife. Steven Spielberg and his wife. Eva Mendes and her boyfriend. Antonion Banderas and his wife. There are lots and lots that have worked out.
Sphere Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 They aren't facts. 90% of all statistics are made up, and 100% of yours in this thread are. You are stating opinions. Which is fine. But don't call them facts! My opinions are facts.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Will Smith and his wife. Tom Hanks and his wife. Steven Spielberg and his wife. Eva Mendes and her boyfriend. Antonion Banderas and his wife. There are lots and lots that have worked out. Those are the minority most do not last im sure there are statistics to say so but honestly its late and I can't be buggered... Any who there are lots of reg marriages/relationships between average happy people that do last.. Sadly you seam like you truly need to hang on to your flawed preconceptions so I won't bother to try and open your eyes any further I hope it serves you well in life rock on by all means!
theBrokenMuse Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 My opinions are facts. If you believe your opinions may have a factual basis behind them that's no biggie, most people do (otherwise why on earth would they buy into the ideas to begin with?) but making statements like the above is pretty much simply stating 'I am right because I say I so' which sounds awfully willfully ignorant.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Will Smith and his wife.Smith married Sheree Zampino in 1992. They had a son, Willard Christopher Smith III, also known as "Trey", but DIVORCED in 1995. Tom Hanks and his wife.Hanks was married to Samantha Lewes from 1978 to 1987. The couple had two children, son Colin Hanks (also an actor) and daughter Elizabeth Ann.[17][18] In 1988, Hanks married actress Rita Wilson. Steven Spielberg and his wife.From 1985 to 1989 Spielberg was married to actress Amy Irving. In their 1989 DIVORCE settlement, she received $100 million from Spielberg after a judge controversially vacated a prenuptial agreement written on a napkin. Their divorce was recorded as the third most costly celebrity divorce in history Eva Mendes and her boyfriend.In early 2008, Mendes entered a rehabilitation facility in Utah for several weeks for substance abuse problems. Antonion Banderas and his wife. Banderas DIVORCED his first wife, Ana G. Leza, and in May 1996 married Melanie Griffith. There are lots and lots that have worked out. Shock and awe not all happy endings as we thought eh? just because some one is rich/gorgeous doesn't mean things automatically work for them
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 It is a fact, not an opinion. Sphere has claims that are backed by irrefutable evidence. It's called reality, look around you. Why do relationships fail all the time? It's because humans are always looking for greener pastures. What if I made a claim that women like jerks and to be ravished in bed? Is that an opinion? It's an objective statement because it's clearly evident women DO stay with jerks who ravish them in bed. It's one thing to make outlandish claims. Yet It's another when your claims can be backed up by an intangible proof. People are always moving on to bigger better things, and women stay with jerks. Those are facts of life. You can either accept it or stay in denial. I'm right and you're wrong. Actually intelligent women who know their own self worth and have some self respect wont stay with/keep going back to a jerk im just sayin... ok if you want to be right so be it..!
Sphere Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Shock and awe not all happy endings as we thought eh? just because some one is rich/gorgeous doesn't mean things automatically work for them Where have I said that is the case?
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 No its you telling it as you see it big difference.. I will ask again.. Ok on the flip side why do so many Hollywood relationships also fail? I mean after all there beautiful people dating/marring other gorgeous people so life should be a fairy tale right? Oh I can also add they have successful mega paying jobs! wheres the automatic happy endings? Well lets see were you implied it...oh I know! prob after you ansered this question from me above.. Will Smith and his wife. Tom Hanks and his wife. Steven Spielberg and his wife. Eva Mendes and her boyfriend. Antonion Banderas and his wife. There are lots and lots that have worked out. With this answer we see here I wasn't born yesterday and neither were you Sphere so lets not act like we both can't connect those dots.. Where have I said that is the case?
Sphere Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I was born many yesterdays ago, but nowhere have I ever implied gorgeous women and men have longer lasting relationships. All I said is that a vast majority of men want the typical Hollywood woman and not a chubby woman.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I was born many yesterdays ago, but nowhere have I ever implied gorgeous women and men have longer lasting relationships. All I said is that a vast majority of men want the typical Hollywood woman and not a chubby woman. You basically did say that when people settle for less then what they truly want witch is according to you a "hollywood" type women that the relationships then end in failure no? So the flip side of that would then have to be that if they do get those kind of women the relationships would then last? Or do you think that even if they get there dream babe it will still fail?
Sphere Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 You basically did say that when people settle for less then what they truly want witch is according to you a "hollywood" type women that the relationships then end in failure no? So the flip side of that would then have to be that if they do get those kind of women the relationships would then last? Or do you think that even if they get there dream babe it will still fail? A vast majority of people do settle for what they have and no one deserves to treated that way, just as no one deserves to settle. I'm not saying "everyone needs to hook up with the most gorgeous man or woman", but you need to aim high in this life and get the right person for you, that doesn't mean settle. My friend's elder brother admits he has settled with regards to his wife and it's because she gave him two children that he has remained with her. This attitude stinks and is plain wrong, but it's not rare, it's very common.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 A vast majority of people do settle for what they have and no one deserves to treated that way, just as no one deserves to settle. I'm not saying "everyone needs to hook up with the most gorgeous man or woman", but you need to aim high in this life and get the right person for you, that doesn't mean settle. My friend's elder brother admits he has settled with regards to his wife and it's because she gave him two children that he has remained with her. This attitude stinks and is plain wrong, but it's not rare, it's very common. Ok fair enough no ones arguing that fact but how do you know whose settling and whose happy with their individual choice?
Sphere Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Ok fair enough no ones arguing that fact but how do you know whose settling and whose happy with their individual choice? People will openly talk about it, if you they know you well enough. I know many people in relationships who are unhappy, but who will remain and settle. It's a combination of fearing being single and being too scared to be honest.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 People will openly talk about it, if you they know you well enough. I know many people in relationships who are unhappy, but who will remain and settle. It's a combination of fearing being single and being too scared to be honest. OIC so I guess you have had that discussion with my partner? you must have since you said he must have settled for me in some way no?
Sphere Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 OIC so I guess you have had that discussion with my partner? you must have since you said he must have settled for me in some way no? What are you on about?
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