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Tactfully ask if someone is single?

Confusedalways

By Confusedalways
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Confusedalways Established Member

Confusedalways

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It appears I am at the age now when people are not quite engaged, but certainly there doesn't seem to be many guys who are single out there :mad:

 

Anyway it has come to my attention that waiting for men to approach me OBVIOUSLY isn't working. After I decided that, I've been running into this guy at starbucks almost every morning. Nice. Apparently we get our coffee at the same time. I speak to him whenever we're both there, he is receptive to the conversation and laughs/ talks back. But as the saying goes, I have enough friends.

 

I can't exactly see myself being like 'so are you seeing anyone' or 'so, single these days?' Is there like some 'dude hint' that I can drop? I mean how do you go from the weather to... so- I want to do you. Why must this be so difficult :o

D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

Posted
Posted

Just slip in a comment about his wife or gf into the convo. "oh, I bet your wife appreciates that"... or simply ask if he has kids. That usually opens the door for a response- and bringing up kids doesn't sound like you're being too forward, but he'll logically have to answer and qualify his status.

TouchedByViolet Established Member

TouchedByViolet

Posted
Posted

Is there like some 'dude hint' that I can drop? I mean how do you go from the weather to... so- I want to do you. Why must this be so difficult :o

 

:laugh: Just let him know what you want to do to him :)

 

Rest assured there are plenty of great single guys out there

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Confusedalways Established Member

Confusedalways

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Hahaha. I am all talk behind the scenes, no way I'd ever say that to him! I feel like this is just a pipe dream. Life is so hard.

brainygirl Established Member

brainygirl

Posted
Posted
:laugh: Just let him know what you want to do to him :)

 

Rest assured there are plenty of great single guys out there

 

no there arent

zengirl Established Member

zengirl

Posted
Posted
It appears I am at the age now when people are not quite engaged, but certainly there doesn't seem to be many guys who are single out there :mad:

 

Anyway it has come to my attention that waiting for men to approach me OBVIOUSLY isn't working. After I decided that, I've been running into this guy at starbucks almost every morning. Nice. Apparently we get our coffee at the same time. I speak to him whenever we're both there, he is receptive to the conversation and laughs/ talks back. But as the saying goes, I have enough friends.

 

I can't exactly see myself being like 'so are you seeing anyone' or 'so, single these days?' Is there like some 'dude hint' that I can drop? I mean how do you go from the weather to... so- I want to do you. Why must this be so difficult :o

 

If I really want to know and basic flirting isn't making him ask me out already. . . I always just ask if a fellow wants to give me a call and make plans to go out sometime. Any guy with a girlfriend is going to tell me, "No." As is any guy who doesn't want to go out with me. This avoids me building up potential relationships in my mind by getting it all out of the way. I get a "Yes," or a "No." :)

 

I suppose I ought to just ask the fellow out. But this is the level of direct I was taught. Ask him if he wants to ask you out is kind of lame, but it works.

yume Established Member

yume

Posted
Posted

Just ask him out. If he says no, then he's not single and/or not interested. Less awkward than trying to find out if he's single...

 

You: So...are you seeing anyone right now?

Him: Um, yeah, I am..

You: Uuhhhhhhm......okay........so.......how about.....that java cup.....

 

VS.

 

You: Hey so I was wondering if you'd like to grab a coffee with me sometime?

Him: Sure! :)

 

or

 

You: Hey so I was wondering if you'd like to grab a coffee with me sometime?

Him: Well I'm actually seeing someone right now, so maybe not.

You: Oh okay. No worries.

*then you make a graceful exit*

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Confusedalways Established Member

Confusedalways

Posted
  • Author
Posted

you guys are giving me too much credit. I do not have the ovaries for any of this.

Serenitynow Established Member

Serenitynow

Posted
Posted

If the OP gets shot down, I bet she'll never show her face in there again.

 

Welcome to the real world of "every guy" usa.

 

Now you know what single guys deal with every day

 

Hows it feel ?

 

.

Serenitynow Established Member

Serenitynow

Posted
Posted
This could work for you.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/22/fashion/22date.html?_r=3&src=me&ref=general

 

Honstly though, it doesn't get easier then flirting and giving them your card. All it needs to have is your name and phone number you could also have a cute message. 99% of guys will figure it out.

 

 

The negative side to that, is the person being not interested, and sending you messages just to jerk your around and waste your time.

TouchedByViolet Established Member

TouchedByViolet

Posted
Posted
no there arent

 

Sure there are, you are talking to one.

 

If the OP gets shot down, I bet she'll never show her face in there again.

 

Welcome to the real world of "every guy" usa.

 

Now you know what single guys deal with every day

 

Hows it feel ?

 

.

 

Getting rejected is just another wonderful part of life that lets you know the world sucks :) or hell maybe things could go really terrible and he ends up being single and into you

brainygirl Established Member

brainygirl

Posted
Posted
Sure there are, you are talking to one.

 

 

 

Getting rejected is just another wonderful part of life that lets you know the world sucks :) or hell maybe things could go really terrible and he ends up being single and into you

 

Sorry, having a rough time with the dating scene here lately. Seems like I'm at a permanent disadvantage and I'll never find someone.

alexlakeman Established Member

alexlakeman

Posted
Posted
you guys are giving me too much credit. I do not have the ovaries for any of this.

 

OMG, I never heard a woman say that, lol.. too funny ...awsome, lol

 

Just slip in a comment about his wife or gf into the convo. "oh, I bet your wife appreciates that"... or simply ask if he has kids. That usually opens the door for a response- and bringing up kids doesn't sound like you're being too forward, but he'll logically have to answer and qualify his status.

 

That worked for me when I met a recent ex g/f... sometimes us guys don't realize things, lol... In my case we worked in the same company and she would deliver some reports to me every few days. I never really paid much attention to her, as she didn't work in my department, but we always had some small talk...

 

One day, ...hmm, let's see if I remember as close as I can as THIS was the key hint (question) she threw out to see if I was available... She said something like "Your shirts are always so nicely pressed, your wife really takes care of you" (more or less something like that, mind you this was 4+ yrs ago, but definitely about my clothes, etc) ... I told her , "no, I am not married, that's my dry cleaner that does such a great job, thanks.."

 

Few days later, Friday, I asked her what she was doing for happy hour, and the rest is history...

 

So, OP, do what she said, ask him a q to get a clue.. Of course he could be a f.ag, lol....

 

Good luck

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