The Would You Date Me thread

[tman666]

I don't want to deal with the potential issues stemming from recreational drug use.

 

THIS. Not that I want to contribute to this thread going off topic too much, but suffice it to say that most of the regular MJ users I've met tend to have character traits that would disqualify them from being relationship material. At least in my eyes. Once or twice a year I could handle though (I'd be a hypocrite to say otherwise).

 

Even though I'm happily taken, I'll chime in:

 

Gender: M

Age: 24

Height: 6'3''

Weight: 235

Bald: Nope

Occupation: Civil Engineer

#Divorces: 0

#Kids: 0

Biggest Insecurity: Tiny micro-penis. Seriously though, I've always felt that my social skills were a couple of steps behind most of my friends/peers. It's something that doesn't come as naturally to me in most situations, so I continue to work on it...

[MrNate]

Gender: Female

Age: 27

Height: 5'8''

Weight: 145

Bald: Shoulder length dark hair

Occupation: Tech support and grad student

# of divorces: 0

# of kids: 0

Favorite Hobby: Writing and dancing

Biggest insecurity: Too shy

 

Sounds good to me!

[InceptorsRule]

I don't want to deal with the potential issues stemming from recreational drug use.

 

Wait a second--so you don't date women who drink alcohol, either?

[TaurusTerp]

Wait a second--so you don't date women who drink alcohol, either?

 

You guys can't really be this obtuse. Alcohol is NOT ILLEGAL. Do you seriously not realize the amount of trouble you can get in if you're in the military and you break laws?

 

Ive done drugs before and I dont care if my girlfriends do them, but how about everyone stops being idiots and acting like drugs are absolutely no big deal with no consequences.

[marsle85]

You guys can't really be this obtuse. Alcohol is NOT ILLEGAL. Do you seriously not realize the amount of trouble you can get in if you're in the military and you break laws?

 

Ive done drugs before and I dont care if my girlfriends do them, but how about everyone stops being idiots and acting like drugs are absolutely no big deal with no consequences.

 

He's got a valid point...

[K'aycie]

You guys can't really be this obtuse. Alcohol is NOT ILLEGAL. Do you seriously not realize the amount of trouble you can get in if you're in the military and you break laws?

 

Ive done drugs before and I dont care if my girlfriends do them, but how about everyone stops being idiots and acting like drugs are absolutely no big deal with no consequences.

 

Agreed. I would not feel too comfortable knowing someone who is protecting our country, was in the bathroom smoking a big ole' doobie.

 

That's a little ridiculous.

[InceptorsRule]

You guys can't really be this obtuse. Alcohol is NOT ILLEGAL. Do you seriously not realize the amount of trouble you can get in if you're in the military and you break laws?

 

I'm not obtuse at all. I specifically asked Hokie if the USMC bars him from dating a recreational marijuana user. His response was as follows:

 

 

Nope, there's no UCMJ provision that prohibits one from dating a user.

 

Hokie then stated he does not date recreational drug users. His terminology, not mine. He did not make a distinction between legal and illegal recreational drugs. Alcohol is a "recreational drug." Hence my follow up question.

 

 

 

Ive done drugs before and I dont care if my girlfriends do them, but how about everyone stops being idiots and acting like drugs are absolutely no big deal with no consequences.

 

 

I agree. I'm curious about how much alcoholism and problems from abuse of alcohol Hokie has observed during his time in the Marines.

[InceptorsRule]

Agreed. I would not feel too comfortable knowing someone who is protecting our country, was in the bathroom smoking a big ole' doobie.

 

That's a little ridiculous.

 

Except no one stated that Hokie had to smoke a doobie in the bathroom.

 

Also how do you feel about a Marine getting sh*t-faced drunk at a bar on liberty, getting laid by prostitutes, and then protecting our country? I actually feel perfectly comfortable with it myself, which is why I don't see what the big deal is if a Marine wants to date a civilian girl who periodically smokes marijuana. Seems like far less harm can come to the country actually.

[TaurusTerp]

Hokie then stated he does not date recreational drug users. His terminology, not mine. He did not make a distinction between legal and illegal recreational drugs. Alcohol is a "recreational drug." Hence my follow up question.

 

Really....you're going to use semantics? There shouldn't have been a need to make the distinction - read between the lines.

 

Except no one stated that Hokie had to smoke a doobie in the bathroom.

 

Also how do you feel about a Marine getting sh*t-faced drunk at a bar on liberty, getting laid by prostitutes, and then protecting our country? I actually feel perfectly comfortable with it myself, which is why I don't see what the big deal is if a Marine wants to date a civilian girl who periodically smokes marijuana. Seems like far less harm can come to the country actually.

 

Again, not illegal (well prostitutes are). It doesnt matter if you think weed is fine. It's illegal in most states. If your girlfriend leaves a bag of weed in your apartment, you think "it's not mine" is going to fly?

[USMCHokie]

Again, not illegal (well prostitutes are). It doesnt matter if you think weed is fine. It's illegal in most states. If your girlfriend leaves a bag of weed in your apartment, you think "it's not mine" is going to fly?

 

Personality and character issues aside, this is one of the many things I'd rather avoid.

 

 

You guys can't really be this obtuse. Alcohol is NOT ILLEGAL. Do you seriously not realize the amount of trouble you can get in if you're in the military and you break laws?

 

These days, it's a fast track ticket to becoming a civilian!

 

 

Hokie then stated he does not date recreational drug users. His terminology, not mine. He did not make a distinction between legal and illegal recreational drugs. Alcohol is a "recreational drug." Hence my follow up question.

 

Fair enough...I'll concede that I used the wrong wording...if I had used the term "controlled substance," then 21 USC Sec. 802 expressly excludes alcohol from the definition...satisfied...?

 

 

I agree. I'm curious about how much alcoholism and problems from abuse of alcohol Hokie has observed during his time in the Marines.

 

Hardly the issue at all. Marijuana is illegal, alcohol is not (for those over 21 in the US). There is really nothing to debate beyond that...if you have issue with the policy behind US drug laws, then contact your local legislator...

[TheBigQuestion]

Really....you're going to use semantics? There shouldn't have been a need to make the distinction - read between the lines.

 

 

 

Again, not illegal (well prostitutes are). It doesnt matter if you think weed is fine. It's illegal in most states. If your girlfriend leaves a bag of weed in your apartment, you think "it's not mine" is going to fly?

 

And this is one reason why I'd probably never serve in any military branch or be employed by the federal government. Drug laws in the US are goddamn stupid, and I would by definition have to abide by and possibly enforce them just because of my job. No one with a half a brain cell will deny that marijuana is infinitely safer than alcohol (and while we're on that subject, it's also safer than 95% of any and all over the counter drugs), but because of misguided laws, a marine can go off and get drunk and nothing happens, but if his girlfriend leaves a bag of weed in his apartment, he's potentially in a world of sh**. Absolute lunacy, at least to anyone who isn't an ass-backwards, willfully ignorant twit.

[InceptorsRule]

Really....you're going to use semantics? There shouldn't have been a need to make the distinction - read between the lines.

 

Sorry, I'm not a mind reader.

 

 

 

Again, not illegal (well prostitutes are). It doesnt matter if you think weed is fine. It's illegal in most states. If your girlfriend leaves a bag of weed in your apartment, you think "it's not mine" is going to fly?

 

It's far more likely to be with the gf when she is pulled over for DWI.

[spookie]

While in my opinion, you have to be a complete moron to get in trouble with the law for recreational pot use, I respect that it's a dealbreaker for some.

 

IMO most of the people it's a deal-breaker for did not go to a college where everyone and their mom smoked pot, so their opinion regarding how harmless it is is based on pot's illegal status in this county as opposed to first-hand experience... but that's a different story.

 

Even though I know it's hypocritical, it's actually a big turnoff for me, although my reasons are different from the usual "it's illegal" bs. I wouldn't want to date a pothead because I know it would escalate my own pot use. My bf does not smoke and although he doesn't mind that I do, I prefer being sober around sober people, so seeing him is an incentive to abstain.

[Serenitynow]

We're the same height USMCHokie, but you've always struck me as an intelligent and even-keeled fellow. I might date you. ::cough:: Especially if that's your back.

 

I chuckle every day when people assume that the avatars are actually the people at the computer.

 

.

[TheBigQuestion]

I honestly can't see how smoking weed indicates any set-in-stone personality characteristics or detriments. I've known plenty of people who smoke over the years, and most of them had very different personalities from one another. It's not the type of drug that potentially turns you into a devious person or a thief, for instance (as can and frequently does happen with drugs like cocaine, heroin, and meth). It can be a problem if you're a person who smokes 3 times a day, as it means you're spending a considerable amount of time getting high as opposed to focusing that energy on a relationship partner. Other than that though, thinking that smoking weed either makes you a worse person or indicates character flaw just makes it sound like one has never read up on the subject or known enough people in person who smoke.

 

 

And for the record, I rarely smoke myself.

[K'aycie]

Except no one stated that Hokie had to smoke a doobie in the bathroom.

 

Also how do you feel about a Marine getting sh*t-faced drunk at a bar on liberty, getting laid by prostitutes, and then protecting our country? I actually feel perfectly comfortable with it myself, which is why I don't see what the big deal is if a Marine wants to date a civilian girl who periodically smokes marijuana. Seems like far less harm can come to the country actually.

 

I would not likey.

[spookie]

I honestly can't see how smoking weed indicates any set-in-stone personality characteristics or detriments. I've known plenty of people who smoke over the years, and most of them had very different personalities from one another. It's not the type of drug that potentially turns you into a devious person or a thief, for instance (as can and frequently does happen with drugs like cocaine, heroin, and meth). It can be a problem if you're a person who smokes 3 times a day, as it means you're spending a considerable amount of time getting high as opposed to focusing that energy on a relationship partner. Other than that though, thinking that smoking weed either makes you a worse person or indicates character flaw just makes it sound like one has never read up on the subject or known enough people in person who smoke.

 

 

And for the record, I rarely smoke myself.

 

Agreed.

 

Also, I think that those who subscribe to the stereotypes have no clue how prevalent marijuana use is amongst their own peers.

[TaurusTerp]

Sorry, I'm not a mind reader.

 

It's far more likely to be with the gf when she is pulled over for DWI.

 

Cant really argue with that kind of logic, brah. You win.

 

I honestly can't see how smoking weed indicates any set-in-stone personality characteristics or detriments. I've known plenty of people who smoke over the years, and most of them had very different personalities from one another. It's not the type of drug that potentially turns you into a devious person or a thief, for instance (as can and frequently does happen with drugs like cocaine, heroin, and meth). It can be a problem if you're a person who smokes 3 times a day, as it means you're spending a considerable amount of time getting high as opposed to focusing that energy on a relationship partner. Other than that though, thinking that smoking weed either makes you a worse person or indicates character flaw just makes it sound like one has never read up on the subject or known enough people in person who smoke.

 

 

And for the record, I rarely smoke myself.

 

Probably because there is something somewhat unappealing about a person that wants to veg out and do nothing for hours. I prefer high energy women. I smoke once in awhile, but Im not sure I'd want to be with someone that does it more than once a week. You can't really call it a character flaw, I suppose.

 

I've definitely drifted away from the frequent smokers I knew from college - they just aren't that fun to hang out with.

[InceptorsRule]

 

Fair enough...I'll concede that I used the wrong wording...if I had used the term "controlled substance," then 21 USC Sec. 802 expressly excludes alcohol from the definition...satisfied...?

 

Not really, because you haven't explained why you feel that recreational use of marijuana, of ANY degree, no matter how infrequent/minimal, impacts so severely on a person's character that you would exclude any consideration of that person as a potential dating partner--regardless of any other characteristics that person may possess. I'm looking for insight into your selection/reasoning process of how you judge a potential dating partner's character, not application of a legal statute.

 

21 U.S.C. Sec. 802 is actually irrelevant to this precise question because this statute does NOT bar you from dating an occasional user. It simply sets forth a list of substances which you are prohibited from using, possessing, or being in the presence of. That's fine and no one has asked you to violate the law.

 

 

 

 

Hardly the issue at all. Marijuana is illegal, alcohol is not (for those over 21 in the US).

 

It's not illegal for you to date someone who uses marijuana. You've clarified that. So why does it matter that "marijuana is illegal"?

 

 

There is really nothing to debate beyond that...if you have issue with the policy behind US drug laws, then contact your local legislator...

 

I have no issue with it at all. I am simply asking you why dating a marijuana user is a deal breaker for you. You keep saying "marijuana is illegal." So what?

 

If the Marine Corps thought it important for legal, moral, ethical, or morale reasons that its personnel refrain from fraternizing with recreational marijuana users, presumably there would be regs prohibiting it. Apparently there are not.

[spookie]

I cannot wait for the day marijuana is legalized so I can grow it next to the rosemary and sage in my garden, sauteing it with the dinner vegetables.

[TheBigQuestion]

Probably because there is something somewhat unappealing about a person that wants to veg out and do nothing for hours. I prefer high energy women. I smoke once in awhile, but Im not sure I'd want to be with someone that does it more than once a week. You can't really call it a character flaw, I suppose.

 

I've known plenty of highly productive stoners. You're relying on stereotypes. Weed has different effects on different people. Some people get sleepy, some get more awake and concentrate more, a rare few get extremely excited, etc.

[USMCHokie]

I honestly can't see how smoking weed indicates any set-in-stone personality characteristics or detriments. I've known plenty of people who smoke over the years, and most of them had very different personalities from one another. It's not the type of drug that potentially turns you into a devious person or a thief, for instance (as can and frequently does happen with drugs like cocaine, heroin, and meth). It can be a problem if you're a person who smokes 3 times a day, as it means you're spending a considerable amount of time getting high as opposed to focusing that energy on a relationship partner. Other than that though, thinking that smoking weed either makes you a worse person or indicates character flaw just makes it sound like one has never read up on the subject or known enough people in person who smoke.

 

I understand the point you're making here, and I'm sure in many cases the people that use illegal controlled substances could very well be upstanding people with excellent character. But it's not so much that the effects of the drug may not be as detrimental as other drugs, but that recreational marijuana use is illegal in the United States. The person is knowingly and willingly breaking the law. I know many of you will get all riled up over this analogy (and I admit it's a poor one...), but a crime is a crime, so would it not be similar to a person who murdered or raped for sh*ts and giggles...? It doesn't matter what one's personal feelings are about the policy behind drug laws...it's still illegal...and my counter to those who personally believe and argue that US drug laws are silly, then you would be no different from a person who doesn't believe murder is wrong and thinks murder laws are silly...

 

So it's more the character and personality traits of someone who chooses not to follow the law...I hold myself to a certain standard and I'd expect a partner to do the same...

[Art_Critic]

I thought this thread was about "would you date me" rather than some frekin agenda driven pot smoker who wants pot to be made legal.. ( not talking about you spookie )

 

InceptorsRule.. go start your own freakin thread on pot..

 

I was enjoying reading this thread.. even though I won't post on it because I'm married.. that is till it got thread jacked to push a pot agenda..

[brainygirl]

Okay, getting back on topic because I was at work all day . . .

Age: 28

Height: Five feet two inches

Weight: (UGH!) 180, carry it more like a shorter version of that red headed actress from Mad men

Occupation: Secondary special education teacher/full time graduate student

Hair: Naturally dark blond, currently brown

Gender: female

Insecurity: I have zero confidence I my own social skills and tend to take everything people say way too seriously, that and body image stuff.

Divorces: 1, I figure I have a right to leave someone who threatened to kill me without having to feel bad about it.

Kids: 3 boys, 11, 5, 3 years old.

 

On the dating pot heads thing, I've never used or even seen pot. I'm no more opposed to its occasional use than I am to the occasional use of alcohol, but I am opposed to inviting someone into my house who is willing to put themselves and anyone around them at huge risk, which is what you do when you buy, transport and use pot.

 

I could loose my job, my license, my kids, my financial security, everything, if pot were found in my home or car or if I even popped dirty on a random drug test. Not worth the risk.

 

If it were legal, like alcohol, I might try it.

 

I dunno if that makes me a hypocrite or not.

 

As to who I'd date based on the listed stats?

 

I don't really go by stats, its too limiting and doesn't say a while lot about the actual person.

 

In general I am not attracted to men who are more that two years younger than I am, and with having kids that kinda works out cause they aren't into the idea.

 

I also am very straight so wouldn't date the women, nothing against you, just not my thing.

 

Other than that, if you're nice and funny, I'd go on at least one or two dates.

[spookie]

Probably because there is something somewhat unappealing about a person that wants to veg out and do nothing for hours.

 

I know that stereotype holds true for a lot of users, but I smoke before:

 

-going on long runs

-going to concerts

-cleaning

-reading

-studying for actuarial exams

 

I definitely don't veg out after smoking. If anything, I use pot to force myself out of a vegetative state. As soon as I take my first hit, it's GO - though I'll admit I'm MUCH more introverted than normal after smoking.