xpaperxcutx Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I notice over the course of my dating history, I've been attracting a certain type of people ( even at times when I'm not even trying). Half the time they fall under the general vicinity of aesthetic occupations ( artists, musicians, poets/writer) which usually implies they come with alot emotional baggage ( <--- this does not imply any sort of stereotype). I can't even count how many times I have someone tell me they're suicidal. Not that I'm prone to apathy, but having been psychologically impaired at one point in my life, I've since moved on from wanting to get involved with anyone that carries the same baggage. Yet, they attach to me like flies ( I'd dated 2 musicians, a film student, and a painter in the past three years) and I can say I even have a few friends or have befriended people with said occupations who told me they've all suffer from depression ( or some kind of problem). I had to ask my friend why I attract all these people and her response was," You have that look.. that spaced off look that you always have". To be honest, I don't really know what kind of " look" I have but I assume I always look bored. I like to say that I have come a long way since my teenage days. I dress more mature, and I avoid dark colors that scream grunge and punk ( which had always been my preference). I wear heels and I indulge in smokey eye colors that usually scream S-E-X on a weekend. Other times, I'm laid back with a T and jeans. So then, why am I attracting all these people with emotional problems? Tell me, who do you normally attract?
mr.dream merchant Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I attract all kinds of women, but the ones I attract the most are the ones who try to play the game, deceive and make you believe they're something they're not. Oh, and overweight hood rats. :S
carhill Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Who do you attract? Mostly women who are married or in relationships. They like the kind of 'hugs' I give them. It's kinda like going for a massage but without the happy ending. I'm working on it. The boundaries are marked and the foundation is in. Now building the rest of the structure remains. One day at a time. OP, you probably unconsciously or through your behavior send out signals of being 'open' to these personality types. They feel like they know you. If they're damaged, that's comforting to them, reinforced by any acceptance, empathy or compassion you offer. Slippery slope
kalikula Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 In the past I seemed to attract guys who didn't have their **** together at all... Depended completely on their parents (I'm only in my early 20s but still), I had to drive us everywhere, ended up paying for more than them, always! I am happy to say that I've moved on from that type although they're still attracted to me. I think the problem is that my friends at home are a bit trashy and so everyone we hang out is as well- so I had like 3 guys have crushes on me who were sort of loser-ish, big potheads, don't do much with their life. I guess it's just because I was there, but I find that weird because I'm a little high maintenance.... Oh and since I started dating about 2 years ago, the guys I've been with have gotten a lot hotter! I suppose I'd chalk that up to working on my appearance myself, nice clothes, better haircut, more confidence. But hehe, I am happy about that. My next step is finding a guy that's ready for a real relationship...
IrishCarBomb Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Nymphomaniacal nerds/dorks. God bless them all.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted August 8, 2010 Author Posted August 8, 2010 I attract all kinds of women, but the ones I attract the most are the ones who try to play the game, deceive and make you believe they're something they're not. Oh, and overweight hood rats. :S From what I know, women who play games are generally after your wallet, men who play games are after our p---y.
mr.dream merchant Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 From what I know, women who play games are generally after your wallet, men who play games are after our p---y. But of course.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted August 8, 2010 Author Posted August 8, 2010 Mostly women who are married or in relationships. They like the kind of 'hugs' I give them. It's kinda like going for a massage but without the happy ending. I'm working on it. The boundaries are marked and the foundation is in. Now building the rest of the structure remains. One day at a time. OP, you probably unconsciously or through your behavior send out signals of being 'open' to these personality types. They feel like they know you. If they're damaged, that's comforting to them, reinforced by any acceptance, empathy or compassion you offer. Slippery slope Carhill, you're always so levelheaded. I doubt you'd fall for any of the temptations. I think I still carry a little doormat tendency around, otherwise half the time guys wouldn't think about approaching if I have a very off putting attitude. I think I'm too nice.In fact just last weekend I met another guy who wants to " date" me but I gave him the friend speech. Not even an hour into getting to know each other, he starts spilling his life story to me.... which should generally elicit a pity party. But I wasn't having it, and I told him that I didnt want to hear it. Then he starts bawling at me that he had thought I was nice, and would be different from everyone else. Really? Really?
Cracker Jack Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Some women around my age (22) or older will be friendly and talk to me, but I get the feeling they look at me as a kid. Most of the ones I've ever attracted in the past few yrs were a few younger girls. So, I don't attract much of anything. Lame.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted August 8, 2010 Author Posted August 8, 2010 Nymphomaniacal nerds/dorks. God bless them all. It's always the quiet ones that are freaky in bed.
a_woman Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Nymphomaniacal nerds/dorks. God bless them all. Hear hear for all the sweet and decent horny boys too
spookie Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 What do you mean by attract? If I'm walking down the street and someone checks me out, does that count? Or do only the guys that actually ask me out count? If it's the latter, I think I attract pretty good guys... "nice" guys who have their s!ht together but who like my crazy side. The problem I have with that is, I want to be valued for my positive qualities, not my uncanny ability to be an extremely entertaining s!ht-show. I've also noticed younger guys (19 - 21) seem to like me. I'm 24 but I don't get much serious interest from guys in their late 20's/ 30's.
Stockalone Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Who do you attract? Nobody. But I think that is to be expected if you are a guy who stopped looking and doesn't socialize much. In the past, as far as I could tell there was no specific type in terms of mentality. However, the woman who approached me and asked me out, all shared the same physique. Which, unfortunately, wasn't the type I am drawn to.
Woggle Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Trainwrecks. My wife is the first sane woman I have ever managed to have a lasting relationship with.
TheLoneSock Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I honestly don't know. I know the types that I like the most, based on who I've had long term relationships with. But I can't really put a finger on what type of girl I attract, I've dated a variety... Is there a trick to figuring it out?
brainygirl Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Judging by me recent dating history I attract messes, mental health issues or unemployed types. I think its because I tend to avoid judging people even when I should know that there are too many red flags and move on. Judging by the people who actually flirt or stop and look at my Match.com profile, men my father's age who. Or they claim to be younger but its obvious that the picture is decades old. I apparently suck as far as attractiveness goes. Probably another reason I put up with the unemployed, alcoholic, bi-polar residents of the mid west as much as I do.
Sphere Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I attract party chicks, airheads and women of low value, sure they're gorgeous, but they are either unintelligent, ignorant, both or worse of all very nasty to other women. I hate that. My ideal women are the "average looking ones", the girls that most men don't really notice. Take Julia Stiles from 10 things I hate about you, those kind of women. It's just ashame they're not attracted to me.
zengirl Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I tend to date cute nerds, mainly atheists. (I don't know who I "attract" really, as I've not gotten to know loads of people who've expressed attraction.) Coincidentally, I've dated several fellows who'd been cheated on before me. And I tend to be a success/money magnet. Almost all the fellows I've dated LT were making considerably less money when they met me than they were by the time we broke up (This could be age, but I've found it an interesting coincidence). Many times, we broke up because their attitudes towards material things changed---they became more materialistic/ego-driven than they had been, and I found this unattractive. It's a random pattern that's only happened 3 times, but that seems significant.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted August 8, 2010 Author Posted August 8, 2010 If it's the latter, I think I attract pretty good guys... "nice" guys who have their s!ht together but who like my crazy side. The problem I have with that is, I want to be valued for my positive qualities, not my uncanny ability to be an extremely entertaining s!ht-show. I've also noticed younger guys (19 - 21) seem to like me. I'm 24 but I don't get much serious interest from guys in their late 20's/ 30's. Those guys are the worst. But I don't necessarily think they're " nice" guys so much as just projecting a " nice" front.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted August 8, 2010 Author Posted August 8, 2010 I attract party chicks, airheads and women of low value, sure they're gorgeous, but they are either unintelligent, ignorant, both or worse of all very nasty to other women. I hate that. My ideal women are the "average looking ones", the girls that most men don't really notice. Take Julia Stiles from 10 things I hate about you, those kind of women. It's just ashame they're not attracted to me. So what's wrong with you? Generally the average looking ones are the firsts to avoid players and guys with cocky attitudes, otherwise they're much much easier to get along with and befriend.
jadedone Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 The tormented artist/tortured soul type. Basically a more screwed up version of emos. I was described that way until I traveled overseas to 3rd world countries and saw how bad off other people have it. I immediately got over myself and learned to love life. because of my average looks, and average income I attract women with baggage and emotional issues. Because of my "game" I attract(technically my dog reels them in) the hot 20 year old club girls but those are ONS. Well maybe 3-6 night stands, but they are meaningless. The emotionally stable and self sufficient women I desire for LTR are tough to find during those rare times they are actually available.
Sphere Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 So what's wrong with you? Generally the average looking ones are the firsts to avoid players and guys with cocky attitudes, otherwise they're much much easier to get along with and befriend. There's nothing wrong with me at all, I just attract the more outwardly better looking women.
carhill Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 The emotionally stable and self sufficient women I desire for LTR are tough to find during those rare times they are actually available There must be a lot more emotionally stable and self sufficient men out there since, like yourself, I've noted similar 'rarity'. I'll have to start a thread about 'where do you hang out to meet and attract an emotionally stable and self sufficient woman in the two nanoseconds she's available?'
brainygirl Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 There must be a lot more emotionally stable and self sufficient men out there since, like yourself, I've noted similar 'rarity'. I'll have to start a thread about 'where do you hang out to meet and attract an emotionally stable and self sufficient woman in the two nanoseconds she's available?' See, I think that's bull because I am self sufficient and emotionally stable, and I can't get a decent guy to touch me wit a ten foot pole. You guys want self sufficient, emotionally stable, built like a goddess with no past. And consider anything less to be settling to a level that you find to be insulting to your self.
mr.dream merchant Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 See, I think that's bull because I am self sufficient and emotionally stable, and I can't get a decent guy to touch me wit a ten foot pole. You guys want self sufficient, emotionally stable, built like a goddess with no past. And consider anything less to be settling to a level that you find to be insulting to your self. This...this is true.
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