SandyFall Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I've been some first dates with guys where at the end of the night, they only give me a hug and there's no talk about a 2nd date. I never hear back from them afterwards. Fair enough. What peeves me beyond belief is where the guy asks me about my upcoming schedule and if I'd like to hang out with him on a 2nd date but then they never call me. WTF? This has happened to me twice in a row within the past week! Why do guys say this?! To be fair, I was NEVER the one who brought up the topic of a 2nd date. They were always the one to initiate it. I just don't understand.
tami-chan Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I've been some first dates with guys where at the end of the night, they only give me a hug and there's no talk about a 2nd date. I never hear back from them afterwards. Fair enough. What peeves me beyond belief is where the guy asks me about my upcoming schedule and if I'd like to hang out with him on a 2nd date but then they never call me. WTF? This has happened to me twice in a row within the past week! Why do guys say this?! To be fair, I was NEVER the one who brought up the topic of a 2nd date. They were always the one to initiate it. I just don't understand. Because they are guys who do not have the balls to just end the date without talk of another date. They cannot stand being in an uncomfortable situation and think the quickest way to get out of it is to say, "hey so what does your sched look like next week? Consider yourself lucky for not having to deal with their sorry butts another time!
bobdole Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Maybe they reconsidered afterward: I did this to a girl once and I do feel bad for not messaging her back. It was an online thing, met for the first time and her profile photo didn't match her really. She was overweight, but there was a little attraction there. We had a good diner with good conversation and at the end I felt there was enough attraction considering her personality for a second date and told her I'd call her to set something up. When I got home and started thinking over the date I reconsidered and just didn't think the physical attraction was there. I considered calling her and saying there wasn't enough connection, but procrastinated (hate giving bad news) until she texted me which I then told her. Just being honest with myself I probably wouldn't have said anything if she didn't text me.
D-Lish Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Maybe they reconsidered afterward: I did this to a girl once and I do feel bad for not messaging her back. It was an online thing, met for the first time and her profile photo didn't match her really. She was overweight, but there was a little attraction there. We had a good diner with good conversation and at the end I felt there was enough attraction considering her personality for a second date and told her I'd call her to set something up. When I got home and started thinking over the date I reconsidered and just didn't think the physical attraction was there. I considered calling her and saying there wasn't enough connection, but procrastinated (hate giving bad news) until she texted me which I then told her. Just being honest with myself I probably wouldn't have said anything if she didn't text me. Yep, people rarely look like their profile pictures. I don't know what anyone hopes to gain from being deceptive with their pics. Can't tell you how many times I have met people, only to see their pics and RL are so much different (sometimes pics 10 years old!)
carhill Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Why do guys say this?! IMO, it's to acquire a list of options. My MO is, if I ask a woman her schedule (I don't really do that), I'll make a date right then. I usually just ask her for a future date.
bobdole Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Yep, people rarely look like their profile pictures. I wouldn't say rarely, but often maybe. If they post enough photos, there's multiple body shots, and they all look similar - there's a good chance they're "truthful" in their appearance.
carhill Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Yep, people rarely look like their profile pictures. The few women I've dated while separated commented that I did look like my profile picture. I don't know whether that was a compliment or not I took the pictures right before posting the profile so that might account for the realism.
jamesum Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Yep, people rarely look like their profile pictures. I don't know what anyone hopes to gain from being deceptive with their pics. Can't tell you how many times I have met people, only to see their pics and RL are so much different (sometimes pics 10 years old!) The dumbest people do is posting the 'best' pictures of themselves online. And to be honest most of the times its women who do this. They even take professional pictures to upload on their dating profiles. I mean WTF?!? Its not like if you make yourself look better on pictures, it somehow will also transform the real you as well. :laugh:
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I've been some first dates with guys where at the end of the night, they only give me a hug and there's no talk about a 2nd date. I never hear back from them afterwards. Fair enough. What peeves me beyond belief is where the guy asks me about my upcoming schedule and if I'd like to hang out with him on a 2nd date but then they never call me. WTF? This has happened to me twice in a row within the past week! Why do guys say this?! To be fair, I was NEVER the one who brought up the topic of a 2nd date. They were always the one to initiate it. I just don't understand. When your dating a couple women at once... when you start to feel something for one of them you drop all the others.
Mike B. Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 The dumbest people do is posting the 'best' pictures of themselves online. And to be honest most of the times its women who do this. They even take professional pictures to upload on their dating profiles. I mean WTF?!? Its not like if you make yourself look better on pictures, it somehow will also transform the real you as well. :laugh: Well yeah but the best way to sale something is to at least get people inside the store. They may be pissed when they don't don't see something as advertised but at least you get a chance to do your sales pitch. I don't do dating sites myself but it makes sense to me. I am not encouraging people to be deceitful. All I am saying is that I understand. .
zengirl Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 The dumbest people do is posting the 'best' pictures of themselves online. And to be honest most of the times its women who do this. They even take professional pictures to upload on their dating profiles. I mean WTF?!? Its not like if you make yourself look better on pictures, it somehow will also transform the real you as well. :laugh: Men do it too. I suppose mainly to hide receding hair lines, the effects of aging, or lost fitness, though I met one fellow who had gigantic ears who had to have done something to the picture because they were not big at all in it. I don't see the point in it either, but men do it a fair amount. With women, there is perhaps the added issue of make-up. I have a professional photo on my profile (not gotten for it! It's a work photo) that is obviously professional, but I also have a picture of me after a day of river rafting with no make-up on. Actually, the two pictures don't look that terribly different, to be honest (I mean, I prefer the one where my hair is done, I've a bit of make-up, and I'm well lit, for vanity's sake, but you'd never think, "Man, these are different people!"). I agree 100% that the worst thing people can do is post only the best pictures of themselves. But I also don't think it's a great idea to only post the worst! A good mix and balance seems best to me.
Feelin Frisky Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I'd guess that some dummies think that to be somewhat flattering as if to say there's nothing wrong with you but I'm just not into you.
D-Lish Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 The dumbest people do is posting the 'best' pictures of themselves online. And to be honest most of the times its women who do this. They even take professional pictures to upload on their dating profiles. I mean WTF?!? Its not like if you make yourself look better on pictures, it somehow will also transform the real you as well. :laugh: What are you basing this on JS? Have you surfed male profiles??? Guys do it all the time, trust me. How long do you think it takes hair to recede, say 4 inches on a guy? How many years?
Green Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Why do people take home unfinished resteraunt food they know they will never eat? Because they feel bad just leaving a plate full of food behind to be thrown out. So they go through the trouble of taking it home and trashing it. Point being people just do things some times.
reservoirdog1 Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I've done that as well -- said "we should do this again some time" when it was clear I wouldn't be pushing for that to happen. Did it a few months ago at the end of a second date; was a bit different because I said it to put out a "trial balloon" to guage her interest. She responded in the affirmative, but the first two dates had been so much work for so little progress that I didn't follow it up. Felt like a bit of a dick, but less so because of the relative lack of positive feedback from her. Several years ago, I went on one date with a woman I met online. Age-old story... she didn't look much like her picture, and some things about her kind of creeped me out, actually. Saying "we should do this again" is, oddly enough, an easier and less-awkward thing to say in the moment, and a good way to "ensure" the date ends on an up note and avoids awkward silences. The temptation was there for me to say it to her, just to avoid that awkwardness, but I got beyond it and simply told her that it had been nice meeting her, a few pleasantries like that. The aftermath of that felt much better, since I hadn't led her on. Happened again a year or two ago with a different woman; I avoided saying "we should do this again" or saying I'd call her. I wasn't attracted to her. She texted me a few days later and I didn't respond. Felt a bit dickish, but at least I hadn't led her on at the end of the date and led her to believe I was interested in more.
sugarmomma Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I had one to call everyday after our first meeting for days and all of a sudden say "I will call you soon" no call and 3 weeks later texts me to say he'd been busy and was thinking about me, I'm like " really" he says " I think about you often and will call you soon" I said "have a nice trip". A week has passed he still hasn't called and if he did I wouldn't answer anyway. Who does that? I wasn't bothering him. Ego stroke needed I suppose. Not!!
xpaperxcutx Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I also had this happen to me recently. In fact, I had even posted about it because I was pretty upset that someone would even bother to give a " email" notice. I don't know why guys do it but supposedly it lessens their own guilt at having to turn down someone outright. Of course, both genders are hardly honest when it comes to turning anyone down. I'd learned my lesson.
lso802 Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 There are times that I tell a girl that we should definitely get together some time that doesn't pan out. Just wasn't convenient to do so or she's just not a priority compared to other things.
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