You Go Girl Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I read only a small portion of the responses to this thread. I'm just going to answer honestly for me-- which is that everyone is different. One thing I have noticed is that if I just ended a relationship with a high-powered executive, I want someone as far away from the failed relationship as possible. So another high powered exec is not attractive at that point. I'm after an introverted guy who works on a farm at that point. Then if that relationship fails, I might become interested in someone very different from both those two previous relationships. That aside, I think as we mature we change our criteria for what is important to us, and after mistakes, return to what does work--or seek what does work, as in honesty, humility, etc. This thread from my limited reading seems to be focused on looks. I will say that looks only matter to me as far as decent hygiene and no severe physical flaws. Severe physical flaws would include obesity. If a person doesn't care about their weight whatsoever, their life is out of balance. Beyond that, I'm looking inside the person to decide if I like the package. As a man's personality is known to me, his physical either becomes more attractive or less so. There is a list of fatal flaws and red flags that will send a physical "10" into the rejection bin, and refined mature traits that will lift a "2" or whatever into the possible dating zone.
You'reasian Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 The last GF started up something with a coworker twice her age... who has a drug habit... and has banged half the girls in her office... and one guy too. He isn't rich, or funny, or all that smart... He is good looking... but I'm actually better looking... so, I just don't get it. Why? Why does that happen? You've gotta bromance...admit it...
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I've never been punched before. Seriously, I wouldn't know what to do, but you are smarter, better looking, healthier etc. than this regular guy that the girls are all obsessed about and like yourself, I'm just as confused! What do girls really want? The crap you say... I'm amazed you havn't had your tail kicked a few times. Look, here is what I know... He is twice my age and does Cocaine a lot and sleeps with anything he can get at the time... even men. I don't know why my GF picked him. I don't. But it really hurts like hell... and I don't appreciate your sarcasm or insults.
You'reasian Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 The crap you say... I'm amazed you havn't had your tail kicked a few times. Which crap? I'm also amazed, Untouchable Fire. I would try to fight back, but my granny-like physique, man boobs, and meekness would look just akward if not entertaining. Look, here is what I know... He is twice my age and does Cocaine a lot and sleeps with anything he can get at the time... even men. I don't know why my GF picked him. I don't. But it really hurts like hell... and I don't appreciate your sarcasm or insults. That's terrible. Who knows why your gf picked him? You're better off without her and in the company of those who care about you. That's what LS is all about.
TDSK Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Hi! I'm new here, was searching for something else on Goggle and somehow managed up here and got intrigued by the threads. While men and women are both visual creatures, there are ways of overcoming that. It takes a bit of time but there are steps to doing it and it does work, just requires practice, patience and a willingness to learn. Some of the steps include Indirect approachesMixed signalsTrianglesInsinuationSuspense Some people may know of what I'm referring to above, others may not. Even the "ugliest" of people can be with the most "beautiful" people as it's been indirectly mentioned earlier.
zengirl Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Those guys when they post stuff like that are not often thinking about women in general.... commonly they are thinking about a specific woman who has caused some kind of emotional pain... and they are applying that to all women. It's like when you eat a berry and it makes you violently ill... and so you apply that bad experience to all berries. Guys are very prone to that kind of thinking. In regards to me... I don't have problems getting women. I don't technically have problems keeping a relationship going. However... I seem to get cheated on A LOT! I can't figure out why. The last GF started up something with a coworker twice her age... who has a drug habit... and has banged half the girls in her office... and one guy too. He isn't rich, or funny, or all that smart... He is good looking... but I'm actually better looking... so, I just don't get it. Why? Why does that happen? To be fair, I think girls get lost in that kind of thinking too at times. It's human nature. Cheating situations are often strange. It's why all the nonsense about being pretty = easy dating sometimes amuses me here. I'm sure being attractive, thin, rich, whatever does help. But there are no real attributes that make you in any way "safe" or destined for success. Personally, with cheating, I don't think there is always a rhyme or reason. I think some people are just cheaters. I use my father as an example of that. My mother is gorgeous, smart, fantastic, and he cheated on her with my step-mother who was almost obese and not attractive at all at the time (Since she left my father, she's actually dropped a lot of weight, dyed her hair, and looks pretty good now, but not naturally beautiful). Then, he cheated on my step-mother. Unlike my Mom, she didn't leave right away the first time. That I know of (and it's ridiculous I know about any of it, considering I'm his daughter!), he cheated on her at least 4 times. Cheaters just cheat. That's not always how cheating works, but I think it's the majority of the time. I think it's rarer that it's situational or that the cheater goes onto be happy with the next person. Almost all the guys and gals I know who've cheated. . . they cheat again. I've never dated one, and I'm a bit too harsh on it sometimes, but I have some friends who are definitely cheaters. I always feel sorry for anyone they date, because I know what's going to happen. And it always does. There is no rhyme or reason, or at least it's not related to the other people; it's their own broken psychology. I don't think there's much sense of trying to figure out why someone cheated in most cases; the better thing to make sense of is why you keep picking cheaters, if that's the case.
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Which crap? I'm also amazed, Untouchable Fire. I would try to fight back, but my granny-like physique, man boobs, and meekness would look just akward if not entertaining. That's terrible. Who knows why your gf picked him? You're better off without her and in the company of those who care about you. That's what LS is all about. Sorry, Im just still really touchy about it. I probably should not have posted with that info. It's easy to say and even think Im better without her.... but to feel it is so hard. To the point of this thread. Whatever it is that attracts a woman... It has tofollow emotional not physical rules.
meerkat stew Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 and does Cocaine You'd be amazed at the number of women out there who consider that a plus instead of a minus. They would never ever admit it of course. I've rarely known a guy who has blow without also having lots of young women circling, young clubbish women and cocaine go together like peas and carrots.
You'reasian Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Sorry, Im just still really touchy about it. I probably should not have posted with that info. It's easy to say and even think Im better without her.... but to feel it is so hard. To the point of this thread. Whatever it is that attracts a woman... It has to follow emotional not physical rules. No worries, UF. Sometimes you've gotta vent. Of course you are better without her. How can you be with someone whose not interested in you? Its a waste of hers and your time - when you could be out meeting some wonderful person. I agree that emotions play a role in meeting a woman, but how?
Enchanted Girl Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Personally, with cheating, I don't think there is always a rhyme or reason. I think some people are just cheaters. I use my father as an example of that. My mother is gorgeous, smart, fantastic, and he cheated on her with my step-mother who was almost obese and not attractive at all at the time (Since she left my father, she's actually dropped a lot of weight, dyed her hair, and looks pretty good now, but not naturally beautiful). Then, he cheated on my step-mother. Unlike my Mom, she didn't leave right away the first time. That I know of (and it's ridiculous I know about any of it, considering I'm his daughter!), he cheated on her at least 4 times. Cheaters just cheat. That's not always how cheating works, but I think it's the majority of the time. I think it's rarer that it's situational or that the cheater goes onto be happy with the next person. Almost all the guys and gals I know who've cheated. . . they cheat again. I've never dated one, and I'm a bit too harsh on it sometimes, but I have some friends who are definitely cheaters. I always feel sorry for anyone they date, because I know what's going to happen. And it always does. There is no rhyme or reason, or at least it's not related to the other people; it's their own broken psychology. I don't think there's much sense of trying to figure out why someone cheated in most cases; the better thing to make sense of is why you keep picking cheaters, if that's the case. I agree. Although I, personally, don't think I'm too harsh on cheaters. I'm pretty judgmental about it, but I also think there's no excuse for it. If you're miserable (for instance), then get out of the relationship, don't cheat. It's just so selfish. I'm very faithful in relationships and can't stand people who aren't honestly. It makes me queasy (literally) when I think about people cheating on others. It's just so low to do and hurts the people you did it to so badly. That's why people come on here so messed up from it. My friends know I am this way and when they cheat, they get scared to talk to me. I'm usually not so harsh on them because they are my friends, but they know that I think cheating is one of the worst things you can do to another person and even if I don't say it, they know I strongly disapprove of what they did. @Untouchable_Fire: Don't feel bad about sharing that. I've been following this thread and I'm really happy you shared that with all of us. I think it was mature of you to admit to and talk about the fact that you are going through a messed up time right now and have had problems with cheating. It's also hard to talk about those things. And I also want to say that a lot of people make generalizations about the opposite gender when they've been hurt by them. Girls do, too. I've seen it a lot, but I'm glad you are talking to us about it and hope that we can help you understand that not all women are that way and help you find a woman who won't treat you like crap in the future.
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